Can We Eliminate Blind Spots in Building Relationships?

Learn to relate better each day

I am sure you understand what it takes to build relationships. Building relationships is always vital to communication at work or home. Without warm relationships, you will be dealing with someone likely to be cold and detached towards you.

Building good relationships is probably an art we need years to master. Because people are so different in their thoughts and behaviour, I will highlight certain blind spots. See if you can identify with them.

1. You assume similarity

When dealing with people, we must not assume they are like us in their thoughts and behaviour. They may look like you. They may live or speak like you, but they are uniquely different.

How do you know? If you encounter a problem, you may not take the same route to find a solution. One may borrow, another may steal, and others deny the problem. How could you be similar?

So if you assume similarity, you may be shocked by the differences. It may lead to miscommunications and misunderstandings. That’s why sometimes, married couples have difficulty relating after getting married. They assumed similarity.

Try your best to learn as much as you can about somebody’s values and culture before you think they are similar to you. It takes time and patience.

2. You are too self-centred

Have you ever shunned someone who is always talking about their interest? Or their pettiness? We must watch this in our behaviour when we relate to people. You may not realise, but it may come across to them that you are insincere and self-centred.

Have you ever asked a question about them, and you start talking about your own experience? Have you ever enquired about their achievements, and you start talking about yours? Have you ever led by telling people what they need to do without explaining why it is mutually beneficial to them? Be careful. You may be more self-centred than you think you are.

Being self-centred creates a roadblock in building relationships. At best, they cooperate with you. At worse, they walk out of the relationship. Then you will start wondering why people are not relating to you.

3. Lack of empathy

Empathy is the attempt to understand the feelings of others. Without empathy, people will not relate to you. And you cannot fake it. It takes short notice to know if you are genuine with your empathy. If you can empathise well with people’s weaknesses or difficulties, they will be very grateful.

It may be someone’s tough times or a period of ill health. If you can empathise well with them and show love and care to help them genuinely, they will not forget your good deeds.

If someone went out of their way to help me, it always makes me feel I owe them a favour. Have you ever experienced it?

Hence if you know someone is going through tough times, be there to support them with empathy and love. They will never forget your kindness.

Finally, I want to say that we are all learning in our life to be better leaders, better colleagues, better parents or better friends. Some of us have lesser blind spots in building relationships than others.

I must say that I am also learning. Because our responses are so different in relating to people, that why we achieve different outcomes in our communications with others. If you have lesser blind spots, people will tend to gravitate toward you.

Keep learning, keep growing and keep reducing our blind spots!

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