Can We Change Our Luck?

When something in your life happens over and over, are you unconsciously creating it?

Have you ever considered why something in your life happens over and over again? Ever question if you could be unconsciously creating it?

That’s what this book, Conscious Luck: Eight Secrets to Intentionally Change Your Fortune by Gay Hendricks and Carol Kline, is about.

First impressions of this book was I expected little depth. Thought I wouldn’t learn much. It wouldn’t be life changing. Probably a books more focused on financial gain.

It was a catchy title. Got my attention. Made me curious. It was an ebook BookBub deal, only costing a couple dollars, so I had little to lose. I purchased it. Despite my low expectations.

“BookBub is a free service that helps you discover books you’ll love through unbeatable deals, handpicked recommendations, and updates from your favorite authors.

Turns out, my first impressions were wrong. This book came into my life just when I needed it. Which begs the question: Do things happen for a reason?

I have no proof things happen for a reason, but I’ve experienced so many coincidences and synchronicities I lean towards believing it’s true.

Before I started reading this book, I had gone to Staples to pick up some notebooks. I walked into the store, my eye went to a display table and this notebook caught my eye. I was looking for smaller notebooks, so I walked past it. But before I left the store, I purchased it, not knowing what I’d use it for.

The purpose of this notebook came when I started reading the Conscious Luck book. The notebook was perfect for jotting down key points in the book, doing the recommended exercises, and writing my thoughts and feelings as they came up. For me, it helps information to sink in when I write it out by hand.

The start of the book tells how they came to be co-authors. It didn’t happen overnight. And involved coincidences and timing. It helped reinforce the belief things also happen when the time is right.

They explain we often think luck comes from outside us and is bestowed by chance. They insist it can be changed by conscious attention to our thoughts and feelings. To realize it’s up to us to change our luck. To commit to bring more luck into our lives.

Then the author asks: Are you willing to take the challenge of changing your luck?

Sure, I decided. What did I have to lose?

I started on the 1st secret. Reading and writing out the following sentence in the way described for it to get it into my subconscious.

I, Barbara Carter, make a sincere commitment to being lucky, now and forever.

I followed the instructions. Wrote it out first with my dominant hand. Then with my non-dominant hand. Again, with my dominant hand. Again with my non-dominant hand.

Then I was instructed to think about what my commitments up to this point in my life have been. To realize I have already shown incredible power to create what I wanted. To see how I’ve created the life I have.

This is challenging if you’re not happy where you are. If you can’t see the unconscious choices, you’ve made.

It’s difficult seeing the part we play in creating our misery.

To recognize our unconscious beliefs.

In my drinking days, it took years before I could look at my bad choices. My relationships with unavailable men. Not recognizing my pattern or what was making me seek them out. What had me feeling I was so worthless?

For years, I felt sorry for myself. Blamed others. Not seen my part in it. Once I saw my part in it, I could choose to change.

The author states: If you can create your life one way. You can create it another way.

That we must look at some of our misery-producing patterns. To not blame someone else for a host of things. To not be convinced you are the victim of others.

Einstein said: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

First, we need to recognize what we are repeating. Then ask why?

The author says it is because something within is unconsciously committed to it. He states he was committed to being criticized, committed to betrayal, committed to arguing and lying.

Becoming aware of our unconscious commitments is an enormous step in taking ownership of our the results in our life.

Loosen the negative grip on our old patterns. Begin practising new patterns. Develop conscious habits of behaviour. Claim your power.

The author then instructs the reader to write, date, and sign a new commitment agreement.

I acknowledge that through the power of my commitments — both conscious and unconscious — I’ve created my life as it is now. I now chose to use this power to create my life the way I consciously want it to be.

I signed and dated it, August 11, 2022

The author explains that many of us were made to feel guilty and ashamed about wanting things. That we may even have been called selfish.

But he says, unless you ask for what you want, the universe doesn’t know what to give you.

We must consciously want something so we can consciously receive and enjoy it.

We must want to be lucky!

The word lucky is a word I heard growing up. My mother often dismissed my wants by telling me I was lucky for all I had: a mother and a father, a home. I learned to feel guilt for wanting more. For wanting her love and attention.

Constantly, I compared my situation to the other children in our home. The children without their parents. I was lucky. I had no need for more. How dare I ask for more?

I learned if that was how being lucky felt, it didn’t feel good. In fact, it felt shameful to be so lucky. A “bad” thing. It made me feel I was an ungrateful person. I never wanted to be lucky again.

The book then instructs the reader to write: Yes, I, Barbara Carter, want to be lucky.

What a bold statement to make. To cast off those old beliefs of what lucky meant for me.

Next was to go public with my commitment. Sharing it to give it more impact. To feel the commitment sincerely. That I had said it in my mind, written it down on paper, and given voice to it. To feel it, breathe it. Let it settle in me.

To tell someone: “I’ve made a commitment to being lucky.” To notice how others respond. Being aware that such a statement may trigger emotional reactions in some.

The author writes that some might even tell you it is impossible to change your luck. Be sensitive to their reactions, but know your focus is on being lucky.

The author then explains more about commitments. That not all commitments are the same. That this is a joyful commitment. Not an obligation. Not something you have to do. Not a burden. I could relate to how I’d felt about previous job commitments. Doing the work only for a paycheck, not because it fulfilled my beliefs or my heart.

This commitment to feeling lucky, the author says, is one that changes your life. One you make freely, to support a worthy good of your own choosing.

When I wrote out the next statement: “I freely and joyfully commit to creating luck and abundant good fortune in my life, now and forever.” I had a powerful reaction to that statement.

A fear came over me. I was tempting fate. Being too boastful. Thinking too much of myself. That I needed to know my place. Stay down where I belong. I heard the words in my mind, “Who do you think you are? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

How many times had I heard those words spoken? Been warned never to be proud of myself. Never think good of myself. Words were used to keep me feeling less than. Keep me in my place. Silent. Alone. Afraid.

Creating luck? That’s thinking I’m deserving of it.

The ability to say, “I will no longer accept such treatment.” To believe I can do things differently. That I can break an old pattern. That I have a choice. And the right to choose.

I realize how it’s not a straight line — how it’s difficult to dig yourself out of the hole you’re been in. To have dirt continually thrown back in on you. To keep trying to claw your way out.

It is almost weird. Coincidence? While making these commitments, a situation brought these old feelings and beliefs into my current life.

Yes, I am committed to healing my inner wounds, and breaking negative patterns has been my lifelong journey. Times I wish the hurt would end. Times, I fear the past will never let me go. Thankfully, I have persevered.

The only way is through. To feel the pain. It’s often not the choice we want to make. Hence addictions, etc.

I can tell you it gets easier as you learn more ways to better cope and handle your feelings. It is like an onion, peeling back layers to reach the centre.

There is no magic spell. No wave of a wand. You must do the inner work.

Change your mind. Change your life.

If that means changing my views about luck and believing I can experience more luck in my life, why not follow the instructions in this book?

I cannot speak for how this book may affect other readers. Everyone reacts to things differently. Or the timing may not be right. For me, this book has had a major impact on my current life.

If you feel drawn to it, go with that intuitive feeling. Learn to follow that inner voice that leads you to find what helps you.

May you also feel lucky, too.

BARBARA CARTER is a visual artist and writer with a focus on healing from childhood trauma, alcohol addiction, and living her best authentic life.