Buying the Perfect-Fitting Jeans, Engineer Style
Or how my husband’s side of the closet became filled with ill-fitting jeans.
I have often said that I wish I had invented blue jeans: the most spectacular, the most practical, the most relaxed and nonchalant. They have expression, modesty, sex appeal, simplicity — all I hope for in my clothes.
Yves Saint Laurent
Once upon a time, my husband bought a new pair of jeans. This is how it went.
My husband’s new pair of jeans came in the mail yesterday. He tried them on for me. They look great.
I don’t make a habit of checking out men’s backsides, but he looks good in these jeans. The important thing is they passed the “long and lean” look.
My husband is a runner and has a runner’s body. Put him in his black jeans and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and my brain thinks “yum.”
With me so far? Not a big deal. A man buys a pair of jeans.
The purchasing process is what makes these jeans interesting. They are custom made jeans purchased online.
These perfect-fitting jeans are the result of months of back and forth with three different online companies. They each specialize in custom-fitted jeans, made to order. On the Internet.
It is an engineer’s approach to getting the perfect pair of jeans.
The first company began by making custom-fitted dress shirts. Their phone app took measurements via a video the buyer was instructed to make.
My husband ordered the shirt about a year ago. It fit perfectly. Total success on the first try.
That company sent an email announcing they now offered custom jeans as well. They said they could use the same video for the measurements. He ordered a pair.
It was a disaster. Too short, too fat, all the measurements were off. They tried three different times to replace the jeans with a better fitting pair.
They didn’t charge him until the last pair. None of those jeans had the comfortable fit he wanted.
The second company asked for measurements. He followed the instructions but their two passes at making the jeans weren’t successful either.
My husband wasn’t ready to give up. By now he was hip-deep in Project Jeans.
The third company also asked for measurements. The first pair were skinny jeans. I thought he looked good, but at 61 he felt skinny jeans were something he couldn’t adapt to or be comfortable in.
There was also the unfortunate skinny jeans we saw on our trip to Estes Park, Colorado a couple of years ago. A thin gentleman was selling paintings on the River Walk. He appeared to be in his 70s.
He was wearing very skinny jeans on the River Walk. He did look… the pants were… overly snug. Enough said. In the car, as the kids laughed a little about it, my husband agreed it wasn’t a good look.
The jeans my husband tried on yesterday were the replacement jeans. They look fantastic. Straight-leg jeans, snug but not tight in the waist or hips. A success. Yay!
Think about that for a moment. His seventh pair of custom-fitted jeans are the winners. Six pairs fit badly and were rejected.
I watched the process with much humor. It is an engineer’s approach to getting the perfect pair of jeans. Not a writer’s method. Once my husband was on this path, he was going to see it through to success.
I love the way his mind works.
It was entertaining. It reminded me of one of the reasons why I love my husband. I love the way his mind works.
He is a computer engineer and this was a puzzle to be solved. He hung in there until it was solved.
Now, whenever he wants a dress shirt or a pair of jeans, he knows he can purchase exactly what he wants. He will get the fit he wants. He is happy.
Because he is happy, I am happy. I’m also amused. Thankfully, he can see the humor in it as well.
I wonder if they make women’s jeans. I don’t need custom jeans but it might be worth it to give him another jean-related mission.
In short, this is how my computer engineer husband bought a pair of jeans:
· Technology
· Three internet companies
· Seven prototypes
· Success
And the jeans lived happily ever after.
Update: 10/10/2019 — after going through the wash and being worn one time, my husband has determined these are not the winning jeans. He is going to try one more time…
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