TW: GUNS, GUNS, GUNS

Business Opportunities in the Golden Age of Mass Shootings

Passive income? Pshaw! This is aggressive AF.

Thirty-nine mass shootings in just 24 days this year.

That’s a banner year.

And a great series of business opportunities.

Since we in the good ole US of A are firmly committed to doing absolutely nothing to stem the steadily rising tide of gun violence here, let’s all at least make a buck.

Here’s how (with a small nod to all the passive income gurus on Medium popularized by the masses celebrating the mantra “you can profit from ANYTHING you’re good at):

“Thoughts and Prayers” books

We should all be good at this, we’re writers FFS.

Here’s a couple of my lame-brained thoughts, soon to appear in book form.

After suffering mass shootings, other countries have instituted societal changes that have made HUGE reductions in their levels of gun violence and mass shootings. Can’t we just borrow some of the good ideas from elsewhere and try them here? Too radical? Yeah, prolly.

Some countries have never had heavily-armed citizenry. Guess what? Their levels of gun violence? Nearly non-existent. Who would have guessed? Maybe we could move in that direction? Whatdayathink?

Prayers? Just a guess based on my keen powers of observation, but they seem ineffective at raising the dead. Just spitballing here since my burning bush has been on the fritz for several millennia and I can’t seem to get any reliable info on the subject.

Floral displays

My shop will be called “Blood-Red Roses and Forget-Me-Nots”. No pinching the idea or I’ll plug ya (JK JK haha, hehe).

Every time I watch the news, it’s nothing but flowers, flowers, and flowers, every-fucking-where.

You too can get in on that hot action, and make a mint.

I hear poison oak is in for 2023.

Teddy bears

They are the cutest, really. Although seemingly a bit overused.

You’re bright folks though, let’s brainstorm.

Would there be a market for more suitable memorial memorabilia?

I’m thinking rattlesnakes and hyenas, but you do you, as they say.

Nifty little candles

A symbol of lighting the way in the darkness? Metaphoric for finding one’s way out of a dark dilemma?

But who am I to tell you how to interpret this lovely item. Again, you do you.

For me, I’m selling candles. And plenty of ‘em.

They may be featured at a tear-filled vigil near you.

For extra credit:

Q: Why is an amendment (like the 2nd amendment for example) called an amendment? A: (Oh look, here’s the answer now) Because it can be amended.

Need still more foolish thoughts, relayed in an endearing manner?

Then, check this shit.