DOCTOR FUNNY’S SERIOUS BUSINESS
Bumping Off Doctor Funny — Top 10 Reasons For & Against
What’ll it be, people?
But first, a little haha
Q: Why did the doctor use two fingers to do the rectal exam? A: The doctor wanted to get a second opinion.
And speaking of opinions. Doctor Funny needs yours.
It’s critically important since you’ll either be saving a life, or ending one.
So, all you do-gooders — or closet Thanatologists, you decide — what’ll it be?
Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier), the person — not Doctor Funny, the pub — is considering closing the pub.
If the pub closes, present stories would remain but no new stories would be accepted. All writers would be removed from the Doctor Funny writer roster.
If the pub lives, things would continue as they are.
So …
Doctor Funny should live because:
1️⃣ Doctor Funny has no affiliation with the boost program.
2️⃣ Editor Adam Robinson gives good heads-up advice and stories improve because of his involvement. If he no longer edits, all of Medium would feel intolerably sad and lonely and life would have no meaning.
3️⃣ Owner/Editor Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) isn’t nearly as offensive as he once was.
4️⃣, 5️⃣, 6️⃣, 7️⃣, 8️⃣, 9️⃣, 🔟 Sorry, that’s all the reasons we could think of in support of Doctor Funny’s continued existence.
Doctor Funny should take a dirt nap because:
1️⃣ Doctor Funny has no affiliation with the boost program and is therefore worthless.
2️⃣ All the other Medium humor pubs are better than Doctor Funny.
3️⃣ Doctor Funny stole the 2020 election from whatshisname.
4️⃣ Fox News just acquired Doctor Funny in a prisoner exchange.
5️⃣ Elon Musk is threatening to buy Doctor Funny and rename it 🍆.
6️⃣ Nothing is funny anymore.
7️⃣ Doctor Funny is past its prime.
8️⃣ Who’s Doctor Funny?
9️⃣ The letters in Doctor Funny can be rearranged to spell out “MTG SUCKS” and that’s inappropriate.
🔟 Doctor Funny (who incidentally is not a person but a pub) is a godless heathen who drinks rat blood and buys its sex toys from My Pillow.
Cast your vote in the comments.
All serious comments will be taken seriously. All comedic comments will be taken more seriously.