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Abstract

o improve.</p><p id="4321">The growth mindset is the most crucial criterion because you want someone who enjoys working on their personal development. Even better, you are hunting for someone who is not afraid of opening up about their failures and weaknesses (also known as areas of improvement).</p><p id="2d54">When you have a growth mindset, you don’t think your failures define you (fixed mindset), they are just a temporary thing, which makes it possible to talk about your struggles in a very wholehearted way.</p><p id="9306">Another way of thinking about it is someone who is “coachable”. Those are people who won’t take it as a threat or an offense when you give them constructive feedback.</p><h1 id="f714">2. Similarities</h1><p id="0695">Ideally, your partner will face the same kinds of problems as you. For example, Remy, my first productivity buddy, was hunting for solutions to get focused at work. And as you may know, that’s a domain I’m also passionate about.

Sometimes, you can meet someone who has wild differences from you. For example, let’s say you are an introvert and you want to pair up with an extrovert. This could be a challenging partnership, but as long as you find similarities, you know you will have things to share during your meetings.

It’s like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. They have two wildly different personalities. But they are also both passionate about crime investigation. In the end, it’s even better to have some differences as it helps you complement one another. And diversity is especially useful when it comes to finding creative solutions to your problems.</p><h1 id="41ae">3. Integrity</h1><p id="66d3">A productivity buddy alliance works best when you expose your vulnerability, which involves talking about your failures and weaknesses. So you want to pair up with an honest person, someone who will keep your conversations private and won’t try to take advantage of you. This criterion can’t be overlooked, even if you get along well with someone.</p><p id="0e1f">How to know if you can trust someone? It’s a tricky question since trust builds over a long time. But there are red flags.</p><p id="2a6e">For example, how does this person speak about their family, their clients, and their friends? Do they often criticize, condemn, or complain? Do they use aggressive words? Do you think they could keep sensitive information private?</p><h1 id="255f">4. Motivation</h1><p id="74cd">It’s critical that you pair up with someone motivated. Maybe you are both enthusiastic at the beginning, but how long will it last? Keep in mind the investment in energy and time you put into your partnership will yield results in the long term.</p><p id="8c7d">One way to find out if your partner is properly motivated is to check if the person has “strong” goals. This is a goal they work on each day. For example, a solopreneur or side hustle is a good candidate.</p><p id="13df">Also, you can check if they enjoy listening to you and giving feedback since it’s an important part of your partnership:</p><ul><li>Do they have sparkling eyes when they listen about your goals, findings, and projects, or do they often change the subject?</li><li>Do they like the process of giving feedback or do they only want someone who gets them accountable for their goals?</li></ul><h1 id="b743">5. Availability</h1><p id="4631">Even if your partner ticks all the boxes from the previous criteria, you have to check if they can make space on their agenda for your meetings. This can be tricky if they are constantly multi-tasking and firefighting. For

Options

example, busy moms might not be the best fit.

Some people also have “anarchic” lives. I often refer to this as “party mode” in comparison with “project mode”. If their life is not at least ordered in some way, they will have difficulties turning up at regular times for your meetings.</p><p id="a6a6">Sometimes, you can also come across someone who is very motivated but their ambitions are not realistic. One method to find out is to ask your partner how much time they can dedicate to your meetings.</p><p id="f5fd">If they try to reduce the duration or frequency of the meetings, it’s a bad sign. For information, in my experience, a good session should last a minimum of one hour to have a significant impact on your productivity.</p><h1 id="913c">6. A track record</h1><p id="d584">Teaming up with an achiever is usually more motivating. Ideally, you want to find someone who is already in motion toward their goals. For example, if your partner already has some kind of blog or portfolio that you can check out, it’s a good sign.</p><p id="4623">You can also ask if they achieved some kind of personal challenge lately. It can be a 30-day fitness challenge for example. In my case, I would speak about my <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-war-of-art-100-days-of-writing-d27476534e11">100 days of writing challenge</a>.

Even better, ask if the person has already been involved in some kind of support partnership. Maybe they mentored someone in an association. Maybe they are used to supporting their friends or teach to students. Maybe they even had previous productivity buddies, although they would not call it that way.</p><h1 id="5333">7. No conflict of interest</h1><p id="5252">Last but not least, your ideal productivity buddy won’t have any major conflict of interest with you.</p><p id="895b">Here are 3 examples of common conflicts of interest:

<b>Subordination</b>: if your partner has some authority over you, you may not feel comfortable talking about your decisions. For example: pairing up with your father or your boss.</p><p id="a338">2. <b>Competition</b>: if your partner is a competitor, you will fear they steal your ideas or plagiarize your products. For example: two authors who write on the same topic or two entrepreneurs in the same field.</p><p id="3aaf">3. <b>Proximity</b>: if your partner lives close to you, you will fear they propagate embarrassing secrets to your social circle. Also, they might be too nice to you and not tell you the hard truth because they want to preserve your relationship. For example: a close friend or a neighbor.</p><p id="67f4">Conflicts of interest are not always a deal-breaker. But they need at least to be discussed in your first meeting so that you both agree to constantly challenge the biases it causes.</p><p id="755f">—</p><p id="b116">Getting yourself an awesome productivity buddy car be tricky. Who should you choose? Your best friend? Your sister? Your co-worker? An acquaintance?</p><p id="272e">Fortunately, I got you covered with a list of 7 criteria I like to use when I change partners.

Of course, this does not guarantee your productivity alliance will work. Sometimes, the chemistry will work its magic, sometimes not. But at least, it will ensure you don’t lose too much time betting on the wrong person.

Now the cards are in your hands. I wish you the best on your quest!</p><p id="8a80"><i>On February 1st, 2022, I embarked on a <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-war-of-art-100-days-of-writing-d27476534e11">100 days writing challenge</a>. This is post number 87.</i></p></article></body>

PRODUCTIVITY

Buddy Up: Part 2–7 Criteria to Get Yourself an Awesome Productivity Buddy

How to find someone you can trust and learn from

In the first part of this series, I told you about my favorite method to get productive. It involves doing regular discussions about your goals and projects with a supportive friend or acquaintance.

You speak about your projects and goals during one half of the meeting. And your partner speaks about their projects and goals during the other half of the meeting.

I’ve been doing this since 2017, and it has helped me tremendously to get things done and stay on track with my goals. That’s why I like to call such a partner a “productivity buddy”. But wait, that’s not all. This is also a human adventure. I can’t tell you how enjoyable it is to have someone who patiently listens to you and give you some constructive feedback. Your partner will help you in many regards, such as motivation, accountability, and providing an external perspective on your problems. And it’s also a great feeling to give meaningful support to your buddy!

Now if you want to start that adventure, you will need to find the right person, which can be tricky. So here’s a list of 7 criteria I like to use when searching for a new productivity buddy.

Hunting for the ideal productivity buddy

So yesterday, I told you about Remy, my very first productivity buddy. Together with Remy, we have been doing weekly meetings for 3 years. Then we decided to change partners in order to learn even more from the experience. To find a new productivity buddy, the first thing I did was to write the names of potential partners from my social circles. I searched among my family, my friends, my co-workers, and people I’ve met over the years in various communities.

At first, I wasn’t very selective. It was like a big brain dump. I wrote the first names that came to mind. I ended up with a list of 50 names on a piece of paper. Then, I short-listed the list to 10 persons, based on my gut feeling. And finally, I gave a 1 to 10 mark to each person using 7 criteria, so that I know which person to contact first. This helped me find someone serious, instead of losing my time with “tourists”.

Here are those 7 criteria:

1. The growth mindset

First, the ideal productivity buddy has a growth mindset, as defined by Carol Dweck:

“The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.” ― Carol S. Dweck

However, don’t be intimidated by this term. At the core, the growth mindset simply means: “to believe you can develop yourself” as compared with a “fixed mindset” where you believe you can’t do much to improve.

The growth mindset is the most crucial criterion because you want someone who enjoys working on their personal development. Even better, you are hunting for someone who is not afraid of opening up about their failures and weaknesses (also known as areas of improvement).

When you have a growth mindset, you don’t think your failures define you (fixed mindset), they are just a temporary thing, which makes it possible to talk about your struggles in a very wholehearted way.

Another way of thinking about it is someone who is “coachable”. Those are people who won’t take it as a threat or an offense when you give them constructive feedback.

2. Similarities

Ideally, your partner will face the same kinds of problems as you. For example, Remy, my first productivity buddy, was hunting for solutions to get focused at work. And as you may know, that’s a domain I’m also passionate about. Sometimes, you can meet someone who has wild differences from you. For example, let’s say you are an introvert and you want to pair up with an extrovert. This could be a challenging partnership, but as long as you find similarities, you know you will have things to share during your meetings. It’s like Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. They have two wildly different personalities. But they are also both passionate about crime investigation. In the end, it’s even better to have some differences as it helps you complement one another. And diversity is especially useful when it comes to finding creative solutions to your problems.

3. Integrity

A productivity buddy alliance works best when you expose your vulnerability, which involves talking about your failures and weaknesses. So you want to pair up with an honest person, someone who will keep your conversations private and won’t try to take advantage of you. This criterion can’t be overlooked, even if you get along well with someone.

How to know if you can trust someone? It’s a tricky question since trust builds over a long time. But there are red flags.

For example, how does this person speak about their family, their clients, and their friends? Do they often criticize, condemn, or complain? Do they use aggressive words? Do you think they could keep sensitive information private?

4. Motivation

It’s critical that you pair up with someone motivated. Maybe you are both enthusiastic at the beginning, but how long will it last? Keep in mind the investment in energy and time you put into your partnership will yield results in the long term.

One way to find out if your partner is properly motivated is to check if the person has “strong” goals. This is a goal they work on each day. For example, a solopreneur or side hustle is a good candidate.

Also, you can check if they enjoy listening to you and giving feedback since it’s an important part of your partnership:

Do they have sparkling eyes when they listen about your goals, findings, and projects, or do they often change the subject?
Do they like the process of giving feedback or do they only want someone who gets them accountable for their goals?

5. Availability

Even if your partner ticks all the boxes from the previous criteria, you have to check if they can make space on their agenda for your meetings. This can be tricky if they are constantly multi-tasking and firefighting. For example, busy moms might not be the best fit. Some people also have “anarchic” lives. I often refer to this as “party mode” in comparison with “project mode”. If their life is not at least ordered in some way, they will have difficulties turning up at regular times for your meetings.

Sometimes, you can also come across someone who is very motivated but their ambitions are not realistic. One method to find out is to ask your partner how much time they can dedicate to your meetings.

If they try to reduce the duration or frequency of the meetings, it’s a bad sign. For information, in my experience, a good session should last a minimum of one hour to have a significant impact on your productivity.

6. A track record

Teaming up with an achiever is usually more motivating. Ideally, you want to find someone who is already in motion toward their goals. For example, if your partner already has some kind of blog or portfolio that you can check out, it’s a good sign.

You can also ask if they achieved some kind of personal challenge lately. It can be a 30-day fitness challenge for example. In my case, I would speak about my 100 days of writing challenge. Even better, ask if the person has already been involved in some kind of support partnership. Maybe they mentored someone in an association. Maybe they are used to supporting their friends or teach to students. Maybe they even had previous productivity buddies, although they would not call it that way.

7. No conflict of interest

Last but not least, your ideal productivity buddy won’t have any major conflict of interest with you.

Here are 3 examples of common conflicts of interest: 1. Subordination: if your partner has some authority over you, you may not feel comfortable talking about your decisions. For example: pairing up with your father or your boss.

2. Competition: if your partner is a competitor, you will fear they steal your ideas or plagiarize your products. For example: two authors who write on the same topic or two entrepreneurs in the same field.

3. Proximity: if your partner lives close to you, you will fear they propagate embarrassing secrets to your social circle. Also, they might be too nice to you and not tell you the hard truth because they want to preserve your relationship. For example: a close friend or a neighbor.

Conflicts of interest are not always a deal-breaker. But they need at least to be discussed in your first meeting so that you both agree to constantly challenge the biases it causes.

—

Getting yourself an awesome productivity buddy car be tricky. Who should you choose? Your best friend? Your sister? Your co-worker? An acquaintance?

Fortunately, I got you covered with a list of 7 criteria I like to use when I change partners. Of course, this does not guarantee your productivity alliance will work. Sometimes, the chemistry will work its magic, sometimes not. But at least, it will ensure you don’t lose too much time betting on the wrong person. Now the cards are in your hands. I wish you the best on your quest!

On February 1st, 2022, I embarked on a 100 days writing challenge. This is post number 87.