PRODUCTIVITY
Buddy Up: Part 1 — How to Get Productive With a Supportive Friend
The 4 life-changing virtues of mutual support
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together” — African proverb
Do you need a game-changing method to get productive?
Then try this: 1. Find a supportive friend or acquaintance who has challenging personal projects 2. Schedule a regular meeting together to talk about your respective progress. 3. Then watch your productivity take off!
Ok, easier said than done, right? Yes, to make this partnership successful, you need to find the right person and follow some guidelines. But basically, it’s what I’ve done in the past five years, and this has profoundly improved my productivity, helping me reach my goals in a much more reliable way.
In this series of articles, I’ll share what worked for my buddies and me over the years. But let’s start today with 4 reasons why this practice is so powerful.
Creating your productivity alliance
In 2017, I talked about the idea of doing productivity-related meetings to Remy, an avid reader of my French productivity blog.
Remy wasn’t sure at the beginning. He asked me for a reflection time to think about it as he already had many commitments and a busy family life. Then, to my delight, he accepted.
In the beginning, it was a bit messy. We often lost the notes from our previous meetings. We would come late. Sometimes, we even skipped meetings. But then something happened: Remy became increasingly enthusiastic about this practice. After a few weeks, I could see the twinkle in his eyes. It wasn’t so long before we were both fully convinced that the time we invested in these meetings was well spent.
In the end, we are glad we went on since it was instrumental to our success. During the first years, we made many breakthroughs, we took life-changing decisions, and it brought so much joy into our life!
To summarize how powerful this type of partnership can be for you, I’ve broken it down into 4 power words: Connect, Focus, Invent and Change.
I’ve called these: “the 4 life-changing virtues of mutual support”.
Let me give you some context for each of them:
1) Connect
Personal productivity is often seen as a solitary activity. You read business or personal development books, apply a couple of advice, and hopefully, it helps improve yourself in a meaningful way.
Many times, we are reluctant to speak about how we want to improve. We don’t want to expose our flaws because we feel ashamed of them, or we fear our peers will exploit them.
However, it’s a sad thing because vulnerability can have a powerful impact on your life, as Brené Brown has shown in her excellent book Daring Greatly.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.” — Brené Brown
Fortunately, productivity meetings are one of the best places to be vulnerable. When you are with a supportive person who follows the same path of self-development as you, you build a lot of goodwill and trust.
This is the perfect place to open up about your life. After a while, there’s a strong connection between you and your partner. It’s such a fulfilling experience!
Many times, when I have a productivity meeting with my partner, I would feel a bit reluctant when I think about the time investment it represents. But when we finish the session, there’s a big smile on our faces. We are so happy we found the time to do it!
2) Focus
The productivity meetings also help you to be laser-focused on your goals. If you know the book “Getting Things Done” by David Allen, you must be familiar with weekly reviews.
“Once a week, do a thorough review of all your projects in as much detail as you need to. If you do, your systems will work. If you don’t, no system will work.” — David Allen
The weekly review is a time where you:
- Review what has been accomplished the past week
- Remind yourself of your long term goals
- And plan the next week.
Oftentimes, we don’t have the discipline to review our tasks each week because it sounds boring, even embarrassing at times since we don’t like to admit some of our weekly goals were not met. That’s how we are reluctant to do it and often skip it entirely.
The problem is that after a while, urgent matters crash back in your face. At times, it can be disastrous. For example, let’s say you forget to renew your insurance or don’t have backups when your computer crash.
If you do a weekly meeting with your partner, it will be much more motivating to review your personal goals together and make sure everything is in order in your life.
3) Invent
Doing productivity meetings is also a game-changer when it comes to solving your personal problems. This is because your partner has a very different view of your problems and will help you reflect on them in a novel way.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it” — Albert Einstein
Oftentimes, when I work on a problem with my partner, I would realize I was completely blind about one crucial aspect of it. And this particular aspect would often get me closer to the solution. Also, your partner will help you find better solutions thanks to their background. For example, if they are a teacher, they can give you some hints on how to help your child learn mathematics.
4) Change
Last but not least, your partner can help you change yourself in a profound way. This role is the more challenging one.
Professional coaches and psychotherapists take years to get good at detecting psychological patterns. Obviously, your partner is not there to replace them. And if the meeting turns into a psychotherapist session, you would be right to tell them this is not their role.
However, your partner can give you some nice external feedback about your behavior. For example, let’s say one of your goals is to have a good posture and you are slouching during the meeting. Or let’s say you are working on your communication and keep using aggressive words to describe someone.
“Building awareness and responsibility is the essence of good coaching.” — Sir John Whitmore
Also, you can work on your capacity to give useful feedback by reading coaching books and sharing what you learn from these books with your partner. This will improve your ability to help your partner achieve a deep change in their life.
—
Pairing up with a supporting friend or acquaintance to work on your productivity can have outstanding benefits on your life. As you can tell from my story, it can be challenging at first to do effective meetings. But once you get the hang of it, these meetings will help you get productive and change your life.
You will build a strong connection with your partner, who will listen to you in a non-judgmental way. You will be better focused on your long-term goals. You will invent better solutions to your problems. And you will be able to change in a profound way.
You can summarize all these benefits thanks to the 4 life-changing virtues of mutual support: connect, focus, invent and change.
I hope this article gave you a clear introduction to this powerful practice. If you want to know more about it, please feel free to ask your questions in the comments.
On February 1st, 2022, I embarked on a 100 days writing challenge. This is post number 85.
