Brutal Diarrhoea in India Caused a Beautiful 4-Year Relationship

You don’t need to feel ashamed of what’s perhaps embarrassing to others.

While standing at the counter of the hostel where I stayed, I felt my tummy rumbling. I knew it wouldn’t take long before I had to run to the toilet to prevent a mess.

It’s not that I wanted to stay in this particular hostel, but I most definitely didn’t want to leave, either. Being away from a toilet for more than 50 meters was a terrible idea.

In Hampi, India, it is very common to host guests on rooftops. A big flat surface where mattresses are spread out. Laying under the stars, with only a mosquito net in between you and the universe.

This perhaps sounds romantic,

but if the sheets aren’t changed between guests, it may lose a bit of its romance.

Though, most backpackers don’t care about such ‘details’ (at least before COVID times), because sleeping for a few dollars per night = travelling longer.

Anyhow, I was standing at the counter, because my initial booking ended. The man was looking in the agenda if I could stay longer. Since people are in line to stay in that place, it doesn’t matter to him if I stayed there or not.

He told me I couldn’t stay. I nodded and ran to the nearest toilet. Score, I was right on time.

The day before this day, there were no signs of a parasite settling his new home in my intestines.

That day, I went on a bike tour to visit temples in the area of Hampi. The guide was great, I got to know fascinating things about Hampi and its history, and met two very nice fellas. All good…

… Until a few hours into the tour.

I felt weak, my stomach was illogically full, and my legs didn’t want to move me anymore. My mood was surprisingly positive. During the organized lunch with fantastic food — like only Indian people can cook — I couldn’t eat a single bite.

At that time,

I had no idea yet what was the cause of all of that.

After the bike tour, I arrived back at the hostel and went to the toilet. There I got a clear message and slept for 3+ hours straight after. During daylight. On a rooftop. (I’m one of those people who can only sleep when it’s dark.)

The two fellas I met during the tour invited me for a dinner with friends that same evening. The dinner was at the hostel where I stayed.

After the toilet visit and the Golden Nap, I walked down from the rooftop and bumped into them, sitting at a table.

My head was too foggy to think anything through. I took a chair and joined the group.

There were about 8 people. Two of them I met during the bike tour. One person had funky dyed hair and was notorious for a villa where he hosted parties in Goa. I have to admit that I don’t recall many details about the rest of the group.

Except for one guy.

The guy who I ended up sitting next to.

He had a book lying in front of him, on the table. I asked him casually what he was reading. He was reading a book in Hebrew, a language that I was fascinated by at that time. We got to chat a bit, but not much.

I didn’t take any drinks or food that evening, because those came out immediately. In the wrong way. Nevertheless, it was lovely to spend time with them.

Originally, I planned to leave Hampi shortly after the bike tour. Because of the parasite, I figured it’s wiser to first get better before continuing the travel.

After the 12th toilet visit and when I heard that I had to leave, I packed my bag and walked over to the next hostel in the street.

There was one hostel in between the old and the new one, but I knew that the second one was the one where Mr Hebrew Book was staying.

Obviously, I chose to walk an extra 20 meters.

The rooftop beds were taken, which I was happy about because it gave me an extra push to pay a bit more and sleep in a normal bedroom to catch up with sleep and rest.

The door to that room with a normal bed was next to the toilet building. Not many people aim to sleep next to toilets, but since that time, I do.

I’m a big fan of toilets.

Moving to that hostel was the best idea ever. At that point, I was already grateful for the Diarrhoea with capital D and the hostel for sending me out.

The new room was so relaxing. I could sleep very comfortably (at any time!). It was cool, dark, and there were no stimuli from outside. It sounds so simple, but it was a true, true gift.

Outside, in the seating area, I would read, write, lay, sleep, stare into nothing and listen to people around me. Without much urge to interact with others, I enjoyed observing very much.

Mr Hebrew Book was one of my favourite objects of observation.

He was often in the seating area, and I would lay on the cushions next to him. Just laying. Without the pressure to talk, we talked. We could spend hours there.

I’m still amazed that for whatever reason I was apparently interesting enough to hang out with at that time.

After 5 days of diarrhoea,

it’s advised to seek a doctor. So, after 5 days, Mr Hebrew Book took me on the back of a scooter to see a doctor in the nearest village. (This trip on its own is a whole new story).

After this trip, we travelled together, travelled solo, went to our homes, and spent time at each other’s place.

We now both have two places to call home. In two different continents.

The first two years after coming back from India, diarrhoea has come and go.

Because of that, I have lost all my shame for my partner since he has seen me in the most embarrassing situations you can imagine — that’s huge freedom right there.

These days we still make diarrhoea and toilet jokes. He knows I get nervous when there’s no toilet nearby. We can openly talk about such things.

Diarrhoea was our matchmaker. And I couldn’t be happier it turned out the way it did!

Conclusion

Because of this experience, I’d like to say to you: dare to be vulnerable. The other is interested in you. There’s no need to pretend or to feel ashamed. Once you take away shame, you’ll live more freely.

I’m so happy we can now talk about literally anything!

Of course, I still feel insecure, uncertain, or uncomfortable with times, and that’s okay (f*ck, especially on periods).

Human beings are like that. In general, I wish for you and me that we can accept ourselves more and more each day. Taking away the shame and daring to be vulnerable helps loads with that. There’s zero need to feel ashamed of things that are perhaps ‘embarrassing’ according to others.

They’re just part of life.

You will get to know yourself and the other better and better, build trust, have a deeper connection than you ever imagined and, importantly, laugh more.

Thank you for reading. As always, I’m curious about your thoughts and questions. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Here I like to give a shoutout to Sachin Kashyap, who worded beautifully how happiness is something we can cultivate, as a state of being. Thank you, Sachin!

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