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th.”</p><p id="63f3">Medium CEO Toby Satirebine promised to take measures to improve the safety of starving fiction writers. Parker’s five regular readers were happy to have him back.</p><p id="6ca5"><b>Breaking News:</b></p><p id="8cf2"><i>Speed Merchant: Drug Dealer Caught in Illegal Highway Race</i></p><p id="2341"><b>In Other News:</b></p><p id="8bd8"><a href="https://readmedium.com/furnace-guy-thwarts-bank-job-50d6193d99d2"><i>Local Man Prevents Bank Robbery with Pipe Wrench</i></a> by crime correspondent <a href="undefined">Jonathon Sawyer</a></p><p id="ef07"><a href="https://readmedium.com/ten-questions-and-answers-nobody-will-give-a-toss-about-80b88692b7af"><i>18 Persons Read Ten Answers by Local Writer He Thought Nobody Would Read</i></a> by Q&A editor <a href="undefined">Nikolaos Skordilis</a></p><p id="1792">Inspired by a Twitter exchange with <a href="undefined">Smillew Rahcuef</a>.</p><p id="482f">About The Kraken News — Writing Prompt by <a href="undefined">Bradan Writes Stories</a></p><div id="7ce8" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-kraken-news-writing-prompt-74c8be959947"> <div> <div> <h2>The Kraken News — Writing Prompt</h2> <div><h3>Tonight on the evening news…<

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/h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*S6TWBy0Y9DYeXJoJCrwBwA.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="df96"><b>💯 Story Challenge — News Edition (36/100)</b></p><p id="bee0"><i>Do you want to support great journalism? Then, go and pay for The Guardian!</i></p><p id="09cd"><i>You can, however, support me in writing more nonsense like this, and it was never easier! You can do so on <a href="https://ko-fi.com/jaycwells"><b>Ko-fi</b></a><b> </b>and<b> <a href="https://www.patreon.com/jaycwells">Patreon</a></b> or by (re-)joining Medium with my referral <a href="https://medium.com/@jaycwells/membership"><b>link</b></a>. It is only a small payment for you, but a big step for humanity. (Pinky promise!)</i></p><p id="eaef"><i>If you join Medium with my referral link, you can enjoy all my <a href="https://medium.com/@jaycwells/list/all-of-my-fiction-98579ae599f2"><b>fictional tales</b></a><b> </b>and those of other writers</i>. <i>Subscribe to my <a href="https://medium.com/@jaycwells/subscribe"><b>email list</b></a> and never miss another fantastic story!</i></p></article></body>

BREAKING NEWS | THE KRAKEN NEWS | SATIRE

Breaking News: Medium Writer Discovers Followers’ Dark Secret

Follow-for-follow under scrutiny

**“Your stories are so yummy!”** / Photo by Alireza Esmaeeli on Unsplash

Saturday, 18 February 2023, Breckenridge, CO. It was a terrible awakening for local Medium writer Alfred Parker after discovering his followers’ murderous intent.

Parker, who joined Medium recently, built a following through the follow-for-follow system. In the early morning of Saturday, Parker recognised his followers were literally following him. He also discovered they were ravenous cannibals.

The cannibalistic followers chased the writer through Colorado before finally apprehending Parker in an old gold mine. The writer was released once the cannibals realised he was a starving fiction writer. “He would have been barely enough for a bone broth.”

Medium CEO Toby Satirebine promised to take measures to improve the safety of starving fiction writers. Parker’s five regular readers were happy to have him back.

Breaking News:

Speed Merchant: Drug Dealer Caught in Illegal Highway Race

In Other News:

Local Man Prevents Bank Robbery with Pipe Wrench by crime correspondent Jonathon Sawyer

18 Persons Read Ten Answers by Local Writer He Thought Nobody Would Read by Q&A editor Nikolaos Skordilis

Inspired by a Twitter exchange with Smillew Rahcuef.

About The Kraken News — Writing Prompt by Bradan Writes Stories

The Kraken News — Writing Prompt

Tonight on the evening news…

medium.com

💯 Story Challenge — News Edition (36/100)

Do you want to support great journalism? Then, go and pay for The Guardian!

You can, however, support me in writing more nonsense like this, and it was never easier! You can do so on Ko-fi and Patreon or by (re-)joining Medium with my referral link. It is only a small payment for you, but a big step for humanity. (Pinky promise!)

If you join Medium with my referral link, you can enjoy all my fictional tales and those of other writers. Subscribe to my email list and never miss another fantastic story!