Break Every Chain That Holds You Back From Fulfilling Your Deepest Desires & Pursue Freedom Instead

You know you want to!

Most people have a desire for freedom, even if they don’t fully understand what this means. They have a sense that it might just be possible to live an unconstrained life.

Our rational minds can’t grasp it, but somewhere deep within our souls, we know it to be true. Many people will shun the notion of true freedom, because they fear it, but really, what is there to fear?

What Is Freedom?

Freedom is an elusive term. It’s not easy to put your finger on it. The English Oxford Dictionary defines freedom as “the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.”

If we take this definition to be true, then we have to ask ourselves, do I act, speak, and think as I want to, or am I inhibited in some way? And if you are not acting, speaking, and thinking the way you want to, why is this?

What stops us from living freely? Who is it that controls our actions, speech, and thinking?

This article will focus on personal freedom as opposed to social or political freedom.

There are two ways we can look at freedom:

1. freedom from something
2. freedom to do or be something

Let’s first look at what it means to be free from something. What are you actually getting free from?

Free from:

• fear
• the past
• hurts/trauma
• feelings of inferiority
• regrets
• anxiety
• depression
• debts
• addictions
• perfectionism
• unhealthy relationships
• negative thinking

What are you getting free to do or be?

You are getting free to:

• live the life you really want
• pursue your dreams
• make new choices
• explore your true identity
• cultivate new relationships (healthy ones)
• serve the community
• fulfill your purpose

Sounds simple, right? So, why then are so many people feeling trapped and unhappy?

It’s because we get caught in the system. Generation after generation we keep doing what our parents, grandparents, and ancestors did, thinking this will somehow work through our changing times. Not so.

The reason we are not free is that we find it so hard to change.

We are creatures of habit and sometimes breaking old habits is hard work. And, let’s be honest — who likes hard work?

What’s the solution then?

Ask yourself, honestly:

‘Am I happy? and do I feel free?’

Only two questions. Think about that for a minute. Sit with it.

You’re still here — I guess that means you’re not completely happy or free or you wouldn’t still be reading.

I love the topic of personal transformation — it’s my passion. I have so much I want to say about it, that it’s hard to squeeze it into one short article.

But, I know you don’t want me to bombard you with information that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and unmotivated.

I want you to finish this article feeling inspired and excited about creating the most amazing life you could ever imagine.

So here goes…

From the list above, what obstacles are standing in your way of experiencing true freedom and joy in your life? In other words, what do you need to get free from before you can pursue your desired life?

Maybe you identify more than one obstacle — it could be fear, negative thinking, or something painful in your past? This is an exercise that requires time and focus, so be patient with yourself.

I have come a long way in my own life, transforming many areas. I wasn't happy or fulfilled for a long time until I felt compelled to change everything.

Really, I changed my whole life! I left my career as a nurse, reskilled, and became a life coach, English language teacher, writer, and traveler. I was 3 and a half years into my trip when Covid-19 visited us.

I was in Vietnam, but planning to return to Malaysia (a beautiful country), but with airports shutting all around me, I had no choice but to go to Europe, so I made it to Portugal, where I am right now.

I feared that if I went back to Ireland, I would get stuck there and not want to travel again. I’m having the time of my life and I feel so happy and free.

Nothing could stop me now — not even a pandemic!

Is my life perfect? No, it’s not perfect, but I am happy because I am living my dream. I’m not talking about it, I’m doing it and that makes me feel good.

This might sound cliche, but it really is all about the journey and not the destination. I have found a way to live that is true to who I am and there’s no turning back.

Every day I have joy in my heart and that’s all I ever wanted.

I have put some thoughts together that I hope will help you to identify what you need to change to unlock the door to your future and motivate you to move in the direction of your dreams. Good luck!

1. Freedom from fear — False Evidence Appearing Real. This acronym is very true. Most of our fears are not real. They get magnified in our minds and blown way out of proportion, causing us to live very small lives. Fear will cripple you if you let it. You must become aware of this emotion and learn how to manage it.
2. Freedom from the past — Are you living in the past? When we learn to observe our thoughts and actions daily, we come to realize how foolish we are most of the time. We live limited lives because we have not been conditioned to believe in ourselves and a lot of this learned behavior comes from our past. My parents learned to think this way from their parents and so on.
3. Freedom from hurt/trauma — This is probably one of the biggest obstacles to growth — carrying around wounds from the past. Everyone has been hurt in some way, no one completely escapes it. We have heard testimonies of many who have endured the most horrific trials and yet they come to a point in their life where they say, “What can I do about this? Do I hold onto the pain, the hurt, the resentment, the unforgiveness, or do I choose to let it go, forgive and live again?” It is in the decision to let go that freedom comes.
4. Freedom from inferiority — This is more common than you might think. Very successful people are often plagued with feelings of inferiority. You may have heard of people who attained tremendous success, only to secretly whisper to a friend, “I feel like a fraud.” They don’t feel they deserve it.
5. Freedom from regrets — Maybe you have some regrets about your past, you feel you should have worked harder at school, gained a higher education or perhaps a romantic relationship didn’t work out the way you had hoped. We can’t change the past, so the question we need to ask ourselves is, ‘what can I do today to ensure I don’t experience these regrets again?’
6. Freedom from anxiety — anxiety is a normal and often healthy emotion. However, when people experience regular bouts of severe anxiety, it could become a disorder. “Anxiety disorders affect 40 million people in the United States. However, only 36.9 percent of people with an anxiety disorder receive treatment.” (Adam Felman, MedicalNewsToday)
7. Freedom from depression — “Depressive disorders are characterized by persistent feelings of sadness and worthlessness and a lack of desire to engage in formerly pleasurable activities.”(Psychology Today). Depression is a very common mental health problem today. According to the National Institutes of Health, more than 16 million adults suffer from at least one bout of depression each year. But, the good news is, it can be treated — with psychotherapy, medication, or both.
8. Freedom from debt — Financial freedom is something everyone should have in life. We were not meant to be poor, we have a God who wants to provide for us, but we choose not to believe in abundance. The key to finding financial freedom is to understand this — we are not the ones producing the wealth. We are always dependent upon God for our success. We have our part to play, but the wealth comes from God. Wealth can disappear in the blink of an eye. The Bible says: “Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in life.” (Ecclesiastes 7:14)
9. Freedom from addictions — “Addiction is a brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences.” (Wikipedia) Freedom comes when we become aware of our addictive habits and choose to give them up and do the emotional work to heal the root cause of the addiction.
10. Freedom from perfectionism — “Perfectionism is defined as a personal standard, attitude, or philosophy that demands perfection and rejects anything less.” (dictionary.com). The root of perfectionism is a deep sense of unworthiness. When perfectionism shows up, it is often accompanied by depression, anxiety, and anger. Ultimately, perfectionism isn’t about doing things right, it’s really about control. The perfectionist wants to be accepted, loved, and valued and feels the only way to receive this acceptance is by being perfect in every way.
11. Freedom from unhealthy relationships — If you want true freedom that lasts, you must have healthy relationships. Everyone knows this, but not everyone knows what to do about it. You can be free from unhealthy relationships if you choose to be. But, it has to start with your decision to change. You need to get to a stage where you say, enough is enough, I deserve better. I want a great life with healthy relationships.
12. Freedom from negative thinking — Negative thinking is a killer to our quest for freedom. Negative thinking will eat away at any hopeful thought you have about the future. If you are suffering from negative thinking, it may be time to change it. You are probably in the habit of thinking in a negative way, so don’t expect things to change overnight. But, there is hope — you can retrain the pathways to the brain to send it new, positive messages. This can be done through daily affirmations, meditation, counseling, or coaching.

According to Mark Twain:

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one step at a time.”

Be patient with yourself.

Once you have worked through the hard stuff, you will be ready to embrace a new beginning and pursue the life you’ve always dreamed of.

If you had a lot of chains to break before reaching this point in your life, don’t worry if you are wondering, ‘what dreams or desires? I don’t know if I even have any?’ I was like that too at the beginning.

I had to do a bit of digging before I uprooted my dormant dreams, but they were still there, so don’t lose heart, yours are too. So, here goes..

Live The Life You Really Want

This is the best part. This is what I call freedom. At last, you can get to a point in your life where you realize that perhaps you were right about a few things, and maybe you can now trust that still small voice within.

Make New Choices

You always have choices, no matter what situation you are in. At times, life gets dark and confusing, and we don’t know what to do next.

Many people are stuck in bad relationships, jobs they hate, and lives that are far from anything they had dreamed of, but they don’t know where to begin to create the life they want. Is this you?

Well, it doesn’t have to be this way. You can say to yourself, ‘although I can’t see a better future for myself right now, I believe that it is possible.’

Discover Your True Identity

Getting to know yourself is a life long journey. All relationships have to begin with you, and if you don’t like or understand yourself, how then can you expect to love and understand others?

We are living in a codependent world today. Many are seeking their identity in others. They identify themselves by the relationships and the roles they play. My family, my partner, my friends, my job, etc.

We need relationships, and good, healthy relationships can be a great source of joy and fulfillment, but they must be put in the right order.

Why do we reach out to others to fill us, when others are just like us — imperfect human beings? If you want to experience true freedom, love, joy, and peace in your life, you have to seek God first, the ultimate source of all love, joy, and peace.

God accepts you and loves you just as you are. You don’t have to earn it. With this unconditional love in your life, you will feel more confident and attract better people into your life.

Build Healthy Relationships

As you begin to change and grow, your relationships will change too. It happens quite naturally because as you start moving away from old habits and embracing new ones — your friends, and probably family too, may not cheer you on. Yes, this is the sad part. Not everyone wants you to change.

Why don’t they want you to change?

Because they don’t want to lose you. You served them in some way and they liked what you gave to them.

This is an important thing to remember if you decide to follow the path to freedom. You will lose things and people. You must be ready for that.

Choose to Serve

Some people don’t see serving as something that brings freedom. Well, it does bring freedom for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, you are choosing to help others, you are not coming from a place of duty or obligation. This gives you a sense of autonomy, which makes you feel more powerful.

Secondly, when we serve the community, it makes us feel good. We meet new people, who can enrich our lives.

Follow Your Deepest Desires (Life Purpose)

Finding and following your divine life purpose is a process that takes time. Try different things that you enjoy and learn to tune into what’s working and not working.

Following your deepest desires and finding true lasting freedom is possible. You are not doomed to a life of slavery, you really can live an amazing, fulfilling life, and be happy every day.

As you can see, it does take work, and you must have a willingness to take personal responsibility.

So, why not start today!— you know your want to.