Change Is Risky, But Not Impossible: Your 7-Step Guide To A More Exciting Life
And it doesn’t have to be traumatic
“The world hates change, yet it is the only thing that has brought progress.” — Charles Kettering
One thing I discovered in life is that anything worth having takes time.
Going for what you want in life isn’t easy — it's risky and will cause you pain, but is it worth it? — absolutely!
There’s no easy, fast track to positive change, and there are stages you need to go through to get there.
I didn’t make any big changes in my life, without first making smaller ones.
Let me explain:
I, basically took my whole life and did a 180-degree turn.
I changed everything and moved in a whole new direction. Why? Because I was unhappy.
I know it sounds a bit radical — ‘surely I didn’t have to change everything!’ But, I did.
And this is how I did it… I started by making little changes, like doing things I enjoyed more, learning something new, meeting new people, taking short trips on my own to see how I’d feel, and then I took bigger steps like returning to University as a mature student, and so on.
You see — it was by making the little changes that the big ones came. This happened because I built more courage and confidence, which in turn, released my sense of adventure.
With all these actions, my fear lessened which made it easier to take more action, until one day I took a bigger leap of faith, and packed up all my belongings, sold whatever I had, and moved to the other side of the world.
Did I have a plan? Yes, a basic one. I had a teaching qualification and I needed more experience, so off I went — at 47.
Yes, you heard me right, 47 — not 27.
I went to Hanoi, Vietnam in 2017 and I haven’t been home since. Was this the plan?, no, not really, but I had no grand plan, to begin with. I thought I would return in 1 year, but it’s over 3 years now and I have no desire to go back. I’ve moved to Portugal now and I’m waiting to see how this will unfold.
I needed change like I needed to breathe — and I have no regrets. I’m in a new season now, so let’s see where this takes me.
I have goals, but I have learned that it’s not good to be too rigid with them as it leaves no room for God to steer my path, so instead, I review them regularly.
Change Is Frightening
We resist change because it scares us. The fear of the unknown can paralyze us if we’re not careful. The key is to start small and then add new challenges along the way. This builds courage, tenacity, and strength.
My top tip is: Ignore the comments of others, trust yourself, and don’t let them project their fears onto you — you have enough of your own. Don’t listen to them and keep going! This is your life.
And my second big tip is: You don’t have to justify your actions to keep others happy. When you are taking leaps of faith, the people around you tremble.
That’s their problem — not yours. They need to look at themselves and see what’s going on within them. Keep in mind that most people have given up on their dreams, but not you — I hope.
Dr. Stan Goldberg, a change consultant, and the author of four books on change carried out twenty-five years of research on ‘How People Change’.
His findings showed that change occurs in stages. He says it’s a gradual process that is tough, but not impossible.
“People find change traumatic, but it doesn’t have to be that way if you take the right approach.” — Goldberg
If you decide to look at your life as a whole; personally and professionally, and work on making positive change, aligning your deepest desires and values with your actions, the transition will not be traumatic.
Research psychologist James O. Prochaska, Ph.D., an internationally renowned expert on planned change, has repeatedly found that change occurs in stages. To increase the overall probability of success, divide a behavior into parts and learn each part successively.
For example, he wanted to be on time for work, so he wrote down what that would entail: waking up, showering, dressing, preparing breakfast, eating, driving, parking, and buying coffee — all before 9 a.m.
The key is to break down the behavior to keep your fear at bay.
Choosing to change is a good thing and something you can embrace rather than run from. Here are 7 ways you can make positive change and build a more exciting life:
1. Recognize your need for change
The best way to know if you need to change something is to get in touch with how you feel. Your feelings are a great barometer for change. This is where awareness comes in. Try not to drift through life with one day being the same as the next.
Each day should be interesting for you. I first started by noticing how I felt around certain people, what I was studying, my job, my energy levels, etc.
Watch out for the tell-tale signs that something needs to change. For me, it was always boredom. When I felt bored, I knew something needed to change.
Bob Proctor said:
“Boredom is the absence of a creative idea.”
Self-awareness brings new insights into your patterns of behavior, reactions, defenses, etc. When you raise your awareness, it allows you to choose something different that brings better results.
2. Decide to take the first step
Most people resist change even if it’s what they really want. They resist change because they are afraid of the unknown. At least the familiar is safe and secure, but the unknown is full of ambiguity and uncertainty. They feel they might lose their sense of control.
We stay in our comfort zones to feel safe, but that safety comes at a price. You trade in adventure, happiness, and possibility for safety and security. By stepping out and taking more risks, you could have the most amazing life ever. What’s stopping you?
You’ll never know till you try.
When we cling to old ways, we don’t leave any room for pleasant surprises. Playing it safe, never brings much joy or excitement.
I found this concept of change difficult at first because I thought I had seen and done it all. I had been very adventurous in my life. What could be new for me?
I was clinging to what I knew, terrified of taking the next step of faith. You can combat your fear of change by taking one thing that scares you and doing that thing. It could be something like making a new friend, speaking in public, posting something new on social media, or whatever makes your heart race a bit faster — you know what I mean! Big changes start with little ones.
3. Examine your life to see what you need to change
I have done this so many times now that it has become a habit, but it wasn’t always this way. The bigger decisions have been with relationships — breaking up with someone if it felt wrong for me, but other areas could be to do with work, family, friends, finances, health, self-development, and so on.
Examine each area of your life and ask yourself how satisfied you are with each area using a scale of 0 -10? (0:being very dissatisfied and 10:being very satisfied).
Did you find some areas that could do with a change? So, choose one to work on and start today. Set yourself a small goal.
4. Invest the time and effort into making it happen
You need to commit to the process and then follow through on this commitment, to the point of completion. I only started to see real change happen for me after I had made a serious commitment to changing my life.
I first had to get to a point of really wanting it. Usually, the driving force is pain — yes, when the pain of staying stuck gets worse than the pain of going forward. At that point — you are ready!
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”
― Tony Robbins
This is about believing in yourself and believing that this will work for you. You are building self-belief. We build self-belief when we make decisions, take successful actions, and accept personal responsibility for both our successes and failures.
Know that it can happen, but it will take time and effort. If you accept this, you’re well on your way to accomplishing your goals.
5. Be confident
Confidence requires practice. It requires mistakes and the courage to fail. You will have setbacks, but all successful people fail many times on their way to success.
You activate your self-confidence by believing in yourself. It’s about having boldness and courage, and not caring what others think of you. Dare to be different. It’s something you can develop, so don’t worry. It’s all part of the growth process.
6. Be persistent — change is on the way
At this point, I won’t lie — it gets tough. You’ve recognized your need for change, you’ve decided to go for it and take the first step, you’ve identified what areas you want to change, you know it will take time and effort — you're feeling confident, but now you see the distance you have to travel from where you are right now to where you desire to be. And it’s long.
Don’t fret — this is a good thing. I call it, REALITY, as you’re no longer cozy and comfortable in the land of denial but walking precariously into the unknown — the land of possibility. This is all a good sign. At this point, you just need to persevere. You are developing grit.
Don’t give up! .. soon you will reap the rewards for your persistence and determination.
7. Be willing to let go of the old
Be willing to let go of old habits, behaviors, things, people, and anything else that no longer serves you well. It takes time to let go of bad habits and form new ones.
Be aware of this, so if you slip back occasionally, you’ll be okay — this is part of the process. Dust yourself off, get back up, and keep going.
Change is risky, but not impossible.
If you follow this 7 step guide to creating a more exciting life, it will only be a matter of time before your dreams become a reality.
Always remind yourself that change is good, especially if you are feeling unhappy in certain areas of your life.
It may not be easy to change, but it won’t be traumatic if you do things in stages.
Think of all the fun you’ll be missing if you stay stuck.
A Few Final Pointers For Your Journey Toward Positive Change –
- Let go and trust
- Desire something better
- Believe you can change
- Don’t give up
- Wait with expectation — it is coming!