Bojack Horseman Was A Show That Really Challenged My Beliefs

It’s amazing when a show does that, right?

Bojack Horseman is an animated show that can best be described as good writing of a story that is a trainwreck. Or do I mean a character that is a trainwreck? I do not mean to say that the story is bad nor the characterization is bad, but that Bojack Horseman himself is a trainwreck. Is that clear?

Here’s your obligatory spoiler disclaimer, where I’m about to talk about the ingredients of this show. Here’s also my automatic defence of spoilers, as someone who loves getting spoilers as little appetizers and tapas-style peeks into the meal that is the show itself. Read on with caution, per your own needs.

I Started Watching This Show On A Lie?!?!

I started watching this show thinking that something classified under a short comedy would bring joy into my lower-mood stage of life. Instead, Bojack Horseman became something that just sucked me into a trainwreck that I couldn’t leave. I felt stuck. I had to finish watching it because it was so well written and animated but it was so bad for my mood.

This show tackles a lot of important topics like mental health, substance abuse, relationships, medication for depression and probably provided solace for a lot of people watching. Yet, somehow, I can also see how certain aspects were triggering for some, including me. It’s that weird mixture of both that probably drew me in and made me feel stuck because I wanted more, I wanted to hope, and I wanted better, and I got reality.

Maybe that in itself is a metaphor for life?

Still Good Though, When Properly Defined

All this to be said, it’s a really good show. However, I still want to spray cold water in the face of the person who said “you feel depressed? watch Bojack Horseman”. Big Red Danger Sign.

Good Writing Is Sometimes When You Don’t Notice The Little Techniques, But Instead Experience The Whole Thing

I’m still trying to find the words on why this was such good writing. I can’t explain it from the writer’s side of things yet, only as an audience member; maybe that really speaks to the craft itself.

There was always a sense of novelty, which really appealed to me. In each short 20 minute episode, there was a sense of novelty bringing something new into the equation while keeping an overarching narrative.

I loved the way that final season portrayed Bojack’s own story vis-a-vis him being on a show where the main character is just as shitty.

I love the way each show has little puns on the animal characters that pitch as little relief moments. I think that’s why I could carry on these shows. One such example is that Bojack’s agent, a cat, drinks wine that’s called cat-bernet. I love that.

I love the way that in one of the final seasons, they have a “tv show within a tv show” situation, which reminds me of my high school English teacher talk about “plays within plays” as a Shakespearean way of telling a narrative. Instead, this one was interesting because the tv show character’s flaws mirrored Bojack’s flaws. I loved the commentary of how this show (inside the show) had a character that people came to love, but the writers didn’t want people to think that just because they could love this main character that everything that his character has done to hurt other people would be okay. I felt that about Bojack. There were moments where I might have felt sorry for Bojack, and there were moments where I hated Bojack for what he’s done. That segment really spoke to me.

I think the best way to describe this show is that it really embodies this Cantonese saying I love so much, which is “one spoon of sugar, one spoon of poop”.

Significant Plot Points That Hurt: A Warning

Maybe I’m avoiding the naming of what was triggering to me, and I need to name those, because maybe it won’t be hard for you at all. That isn’t to say that things that I was okay with are going to be okay for you.

Bojack’s relationship with his mother. We get the full backstory of why Bojack’s mother is the way she is, as a cyclical discussion of how Bojack became the way he is. Given my own history of intergenerational trauma, even with a completely different backstory, what emerged was guilt. When Bojack has to go on and care for his mother when she’s in a long-term care home with dementia despite her attacks and not recognizing him, that triggered this sense of shame for me as someone estranged. The narrative pushes Bojack to go back to this terrible relationship because of some unspoken deep down connection and need for closure. I fear this. I fear my own journey in having to make the decision of whether or not to be there for a fiercely abusive mother if and when she becomes ill. This may not be as triggering for you as it was for me.

Bojack’s history with substance abuse and influence on Sarah-Lynn. In the middle-to-late seasons, Bojack goes on a drug-rampage and loops Sarah-Lynn, who’d recently been sober, into the whole situation. She ultimately dies from overdose, and he lets her die from an overdose. This angered me so much. While I think there are aspects of Bojack that I really grew to relate to (i.e., “soft” things like why are there so many cantaloupes in fruit baskets???), the one series of things I couldn’t get over was just how bad he was to people around him. I couldn’t get over how Bojack ruined the lives of children surrounding him. I hate Bojack for what he’s done to Sarah-Lynn. Bojack hates Bojack for what he’s done to Sarah-Lynn. I loved how well he was written so that I could hate him so deeply. I know some people watch this show to be seen, because they are their own version of Bojack Horseman. I know I watch from a turn of luck that I did not become like Bojack Horseman. I still hate him for the irrevocable harm to other children in his life. Sarah-Lynn wasn’t a child when she died but Bojack was the one who started her on alcohol and drugs. Part of me will never let go that he should have known better, done better, or stayed away altogether.

Bojack almost sleeping with Charlotte’s daughter (Penny). This segment was just plain fucked up. The whole story was set up so that there would be this false sense of “ambiguity” around whether it was okay because a) Penny was the one asking to sleep with him because she wanted the “real” prom experience and b) “the age of consent in this area is 17”, yet even Penny was the one who described this later — she was 17 and didn’t know any better. The fact that he then feels this guilt and then repeatedly enters back into her life so he could center his own needs to atone his sins but then ending up scarring her more?? Unacceptable. Penny finally moved on to live a normal life and here Bojack was, trying to re-enter her life. This is also one of those situations where I cannot forgive this character for how distressed he was, because your own distress does not justify how much harm you inflict on other people, especially children.

This Show Challenged My Assumptions

I remember watching The Queen’s Gambit and talking about the importance of community healing; how a community might come together to build a support network to help the person in need.

Yet, this show challenged this concept, because Bojack received every form of help he could get and he almost got to a point of a stable life with his role as a professor. Maybe he only survived this far in life because of the people who were willing to be around him.

The one difference between The Queen’s Gambit and Bojack Horseman is that despite the fact that Beth did ruin relationships from time to time, it was never to the point of irrevocable harm. Bojack took advantage of the people around him until they burned out or felt like he was the center of everything, until they reached a point where they started setting boundaries. Every single character around him reached this point. Everyone.

Princess Carolyn, previously his girlfriend and also agent, was someone who felt like she needed to save everyone. Bojack was one of her “projects”. Over time, she learned that she could fill her life with other fulfilling, meaningful things that aren’t about saving other people or catering to other people’s needs. In one of the final scenes, Bojack asks to work with her again; she declines gracefully, noting how she’s moved on but can make some good introductions for him to other agents in the area.

Todd, who lived under Bojack’s wing as company also eventually had to set boundaries as he navigated his own existence and found meaning and identity. I’m so glad that we got to see how he navigated different business ventures and his sexual orientation as ace to build relationships that were healthy and important to him. There was that final scene where Todd was finally throwing a party to welcome his parents to see how much he’s grown and needing to ask Bojack to leave because if Bojack was at this party, he would have made everything about him without ever considering Todd’s needs and goals for that evening.

Diane, who was first his ghostwriter and close friend, grew out of this era of chaos in her life. I think she was most emotionally close with Bojack in the story and was able to understand is internal agony the most. She, too, grew out of this chaos in her life. She originally thought she would write this incredible book of essays to shake the world with her trauma; she ended up writing teen fiction that would just be as important for representation. That switch in book material was incredible. Also, that final scene where they sit in silence after she acknowledges that they would never meet again? Priceless. She knew better, but I don’t think Bojack truly understood.

As I review these different examples of people who stayed in Bojack’s life to support him, I’m realizing that maybe the concept of “community healing” still stands. They all played an important role in helping him through rough spots of his life. Yet, because he is someone who is only able to take and not give in return, they eventually had to leave. Other people stepped in to form the community (e.g., Mr. Peanutbutter).

Maybe that’s the only way this could work. As I wrote this, I saw aspects of judgment as I labelled Bojack as needing to do better, performing less than he should be. Yet, maybe this is exactly where he is. Maybe he will always be someone who takes more than he can give, and to expect any different is folly. There’s this commentary that we as a world think we’re being supportive of mental health until someone genuinely struggles. No, not everyone with mental health issues or substance abuse will make decisions that harm others the way that Bojack does (that’s a stereotype that needs to be smashed). Yet, some will, and to pretend that everyone who struggles with mental illness or substance abuse will be pristine if “they simply try hard enough” also isn’t right. It’s a dice roll. Some will be like Diane, yet others become Bojack.

We often leave behind Bojacks in favour of pretending that everyone will turn out like Diane.

And

There are boundaries for supporting someone like Bojack when they consistently and thoroughly uproot your life to center their own needs before your existence.

Maybe that’s why I’m circling back to community. Perhaps we are all able to give, when we are able to, and when spread across multiple people, we can be the support network someone needs. Also, none of this falls on to one single person beyond their boundaries.

Hi, I’m Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她) and I’m on a mission to more critically and actively engage with whatever I read or watch. One way I’m achieving this is writing down some thoughts after completing a show or a book as a way of capturing a snapshot of how I felt at the time. It’s interesting because how I felt about something in one time will be different from how I feel during a re-watch. I think that really speaks to the power of documentation, of writing. I may not notice differences in who I am, and how I’ve grown, but my writing will hold down to the roots those moments in time that my brain has forgotten in its purpose of surviving. Sometimes, that’s a good thing. Sometimes, it’s not (if I have a dumb hot take that I need to be held accountable for, and learn more about). We’ll see, in time.