Being a Stranger in Your Home Country

Back home in Germany

People turn their heads around. They look at me weirdly. I walk past a shop and check myself in the window. I am trying to figure out what makes me look different from the others in my home country.

The look

I’m wearing a sweater. No rain jacket although it is raining. I have wet hair, not from the rain but I just jumped out of the shower. I haven’t used a hair drier in six years. My colleagues from my handball team would say I have never used one. We would have minus ten degrees Celsius outside and I would walk out of the changing room with wet hair. Frozen hair by the time I reached the car. But I was never sick. They said.

So why people look at me weirdly? It’s like they can see that I am new. Somehow.

The way I walk. Relaxed. With a smile on my face. Despite the rain.

The way I talk. With an English accent in the German language.

The way I act. Holding the door open for the old lady entering the bakery. While everyone else is avoiding to touch doors, door handles, and any other surfaces that could transfer bacteria or a virus.

Maybe that is why they look at me. I don’t know.

Being different

Yes, I know. I am different. I always was. But now even more. I walk different. I talk different. I act different. I smile different. I smile more. I get upset too. But I let my feelings out. Once they’re out and I realize that I can’t change the situation I move on. Deal with things I can change. Because I don’t like to waste my energy. To waste my energy on things and situations I can’t change is pointless.

I rather save that energy and use it to write another article.

“TRAVELING. It gives you home in a thousand strange places, then leaves you a stranger in your own land.” — Ibn Battuta

Starting a new chapter

But I am happy to be back. To be back in my home country. To start a new chapter. A new chapter in my nomadic life. It’s different. It always is different when I move to a new place. If it was Ghana, Namibia, or Thailand. There were always new challenges I had to face. Things I had to adapt to. Things I had to get used to. Or not. Some things you never get used to.

And it’s the same again. A new country. A new town. A new flat. A new work. New colleagues. Everything is new. Everything is exciting. Because new is always exciting. And I am excited.

I am excited about what will come.

I am excited to meet my new colleagues.

I am excited to meet my new neighbors.

And I am excited to explore nature, which is also new to me. At the moment.

Be yourself

So, it doesn’t matter that people look at me. I smile back. Because I am excited to meet new people. I am ready to build new friendships. And I am happy to be here.

It might not feel like my home country. Because I haven’t been here for so long. It’s obviously nice to be so close to family and friends. Because I haven’t seen them in such a long time. But apart from that, it’s just like always when I move to another country.

I am a stranger in a new place.

I have to get to know the culture.

I have to get to know people.

I have to get to know the transport options.

I have to get used to the weather.

I have to get a flat.

I have to get a job.

I have to do a lot of things. To start this chapter. A new chapter in my life. It starts right here. In my new happy place.

My happy place

Having a base. Having a place to crawl back to when it gets tough. Having a place to grow in. That is what I always need when I’m in a new country. And I create this happy place by myself. So I feel good living there. If you’re not happy in your own house or flat, there is no way you will go out and explore the surrounding. You won’t have the motivation. Or the strength to do so.

That is why I looked for a nice place to live in. To create a happy place again. My happy place in my home country. Because I feel like a stranger. And I probably look like one.

But it will change. Soon. Because I want to go out.

I want to explore and meet new people.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” — Oscar Wilde

If you would like to read more about my life as a traveler, then have a look at these articles: