Behind De Moon Off Bunburyland
Bunburyland, thoroughly burned in the oven of human unknowingness, is not findable the way the 27 cent piece Von Mariks tossed into the Niagara falls is findable.
As we know:
Bunburyland is an artificial fiction concocted by Illuminati Ganga Scientists in the late 19th century in several great steaming cauldrons, originally formed via some chemical extracts of dream.
One of these scientists was the enigmatic Agent 777 — Joe Kerr — who late one night in the labs decided to siphon out some of the dream stuff, pour it onto some tobacco where it soaked into the leaves, and then he smoked the leaves to see if the dreams were transferable in that manner.
I mean, that’s why he said he did it, sounds plausible.
The result speaks for itself, as he developed an alternate character profile, the villainous and lovable Hans Von Hilton. He also developed a nearly indecipherable accent — these kinds of things have to be allowed for in the pursuit of esoteric knowledge.
Over Behind De Moon — The Dream of Agent 777
My Name ist Hans Von Hillon ; und,
I come, like vone bad shillin’, phon
Oud vere de clouds vet vater vas spillin’ — It’s — Over Behind de Moon,
I come phon a place called Shadowland,
Vere dere’s neffer a sorrow on any hand,
For de peebles are ghosts, you understand Und it’s — Over Behind de Moon.
Immediately realizing his discovery Agent 777 — Joe Kerr / Hans Von Hillon grabbed up his phonographic equipment to record the words that the dream treated tobacco were inspiring in him
Dey neffer grow veary of life over dere — De chentlemens dere are Apollos und such —
Dey know nuttings of trouble, or sorrow, or care — Dey speag no lankwitch — not even de Dutch —
Uad de vimmens dond bodder aboud vhad dey vear — Do dey wed not for love but for money ? — Not much! It’s ~ Over Behind de Moon, Dot’s — Over Behind de Moon.
In dis land of de shadows, de teeahter hats
Of the ladies are smaller dan lace lamp-mats ;
Und Republicans dere are all Democrats. It’s — Over Behind de Moon.
De police over dere are as chendle as lambs;
De drinking men neffer acquire de James Jams ;
De wives neffer scold — dey are silent as clams, It’s — Over Behind de Moon,
This text over the years has been used in various secretive Illuminati Ganga memetic processes, recently to develop machine learning process understanding of the maps of Dreamland. Here for example are some Machine learning graphics generated using the preceding stanza as a textual input.
As you can see it has produced an incredibly accurate portrait of Agent 777’s great grandfather — Majorus Illuminati Martin Von Hooverbeak — inventor of snorting a line off a hooker’s bottom.
The icon for the drug delivery arm of Illuminati Ganga’s Criminal Management Division (CMD, affectionately known as Command).
The header of an email “Lade dide ine Lemmed” which translated from the original Nethersprach means “Deliver this shit with haste”
And finally an address in the city of Mieres, also written in Nethersprach.
De ministers dere neffer take a vacation ;
De business men haf no base-ball recreation,
Und lawyers oud dere all die of starvation — It’s — Over Behind de Moon.
De vimmens dere neffer deceif men nor flirt ;
De leedle vones nefler cry oud vhen dey’re hurt ;
Dey are all rich as Wanderbild, Still I assert, Dot it’s — Over Behind de Moon.
In dis land of de skies no vone effer dies;
De ladies don’d powder — nobody tells lies,
Und de merchants get rich, yet dey don’d atfertise — It’s — Over Behind de Moon.
De peebles don’d use umbrellas, und yet,
Dey go out in de rain und dey neffer get vet.
No vone in dat coundry vas effer in debt — It’s — Over Behind de Moon.
It is surmised that Beyond the Moon is geographically contiguous with The Big Rock Candy Mountains, The Land of Nod, Oz, Uluru in Australia, and The Rat King’s Sewers beneath Tivoli in Wonderful Copenhagen, and that these locations can be traveled between via the discipline of dream-walking.
Vould yeu like to be oud in dis peautiful land, Vhere you live like a lord vithoud turning your hand ; Vhere all de surroundinks are lofely und grand Und dere’s vonderful peebles on effery hand? Vhere dey haf rabid transit? A navy vell-manned ? Vhere political peebles are peaceful und bland? Vhere you neffer get freckled or sunburnt or tanned ? Vhere de moosic beats Gilmore’s or Kappa’s bwass band Und your bwow is foheffer by anchel vings fanned? Vell, — be choost like me; und den, pretty quvick, You catch a bat cold — und you be pretty sick ; Und den, — later on — perhaps pretty soon — You kick some buckets ; und, Bif!! — You go Over Behind de Moon.
When Agent 777 ‘came down’ he published his research in The Tammany Times, The Christmas 1896 edition. In many ways this can be seen as one of the great pioneering events in Illuminati Ganga’s scientific and thorough exploration of Dreamland, although, to be fair, in other words it can be seen as the actions of a lunatic.
Notes by IG Agent 86.
This article was written by IG Agent 71.
