Prompt Response
Before and After — In my Life
Moving forward in healing and personal growth
Life can so often be viewed as a series of before and after moments. Choices made today affect tomorrow…
This story has been particularly inspired by Ravyne Hawke prompt and the idea of Quantum Mechanics. In keeping, much of the narrative is written in the present tense, even though it happened in the past…
Quantum Mechanics: A theory that our past, present, and future are all happening at the same time. The science involved describes what happens to particles on a microscopic level…
Told as memory vignettes — from childhood to the recent past(7 years ago).
The spirit world
Before — My primary school teacher takes me aside to tell me to stop scaring the other children with my persistent ghost stories. The thing is, they are real and vivid. The young lady standing by my bed wearing 1940s style clothes. Her hair set in that fashion too. The continual monologue I hear in my room, which keeps me awake at night. The occasional dream I have that comes true. This happens to everyone, doesn’t it? Then that day, my favourite Uncle — Tony — coughs. He is better than a father to me. I look up and right before my eyes I see a vision of him dead. I wait three years for the prophecy to pan out — throat cancer.
After — His suffering and my knowledge is too great. I read that if I tell the spirits not to bother me any more, then they have to obey. It’s like a rule. I quietly plead and hope they will leave me in peace. They eventually do — no more strange sightings or obscure noises. But the whole experience made me realise life is broader than we think.
Travelling
Before — School has finished, and I’m at university. But I flunk out simply because I don’t like it. My life, my decision. I find a good job but hate that too. Handing in my notice, I leave and travel around Europe and Africa with some peers. Being on the road appeals to me in a way that nothing else has. I’m in love with its precarious nature and the freedom it affords. But I’m not financially rich, so eventually return home to work.
After — Travelling helped me understand that I may try and conform in life, but I will always be happier living in an alternative universe, whatever that may entail.
Settling Down
Before — My friend insists I go to a party with her. My life is flowing nicely. I know what I want and how I need to live. At the party, I meet the gaze of a guy standing on the other side of the room. I can tell he wants me. I’m right, and he does not take no for an answer.
After — Our relationship is extremely volatile. He persists as I fight against the idea of settling down and know in my heart he’s the wrong person for me. I find myself pregnant. Give birth and let go of the independent dreams to nurture my child. I decide I will make it my mission to be the best mother I possibly can.
Adoption
Before — Even though I love the woman who raised me — she’s my mum — being adopted means that I often feel alone, not connected, as if I don’t fit anywhere. I know this may sound almost like a cliché, but it is true. An alien, a cuckoo — that kind of thing.
As I look down at my firstborn child, the realisation that she is the only blood relation I have ever seen hits me. My darling. Looking in her eyes, I know I have no choice but to find my own blood-kind.
After — I sit in a room with my birth family — half-siblings — my sister throws her head back and laughs loudly in the same manner as me. My brother talks, waving his slim wrists and hands around as I do. Another brother looks at me with my daughter's eyes. We all talk about having that extra sight, a family trait. I’m overwhelmed, but retreat, happy in the knowledge they are out there — similar to me — doing their own thing.
Broken Heart
Before — I love my Mum, she didn’t give birth to me but did all the important stuff. The kindest person I ever met. Glamorous too. She dies, and a bit of my world empties into a black hole. I’m embroiled with bringing up my children. I want to do it well. My eldest is very independent. My youngest needs a lot of input, so I throw all my energy into her to avoid looking into that black hole. I’m not with their father any-more. He turned out to be a sociopath. I should have seen it when our eyes met that first time. When we split up, he became vindictive and though he loves our daughters, he often attempts to manipulate them against me on their weekend sleepovers with him and his partner.
My youngest is nearly thirteen when he takes her to live with him. Not consulting me. She hasn’t even started her periods.
After — My heart is breaking — shattering. If this has ever truly happened to you, then you’ll be aware of the pain. The mental pain as your head feels fit to burst, but also the physical pain that shoots across your chest and down your arm. I go to bed. But have to get up to be the mother my darling eldest deserves. She hugs me, saying he tried to take her too, but that would never happen. I feel limp, lifeless.
Pain can make or break…
A few months past before I realise I’m actually strong. Always have been, always will be, and this knowledge helps me to heal as I move into a life where I am able to focus more on my own needs…
Linked to this meme…
Another from me about my darling daughter
A story about heartbreak by Yana Bostongirl