Be a Better Woman, so You Can be the Best Mom (Part 2)
Feeling drained by the endless lulling and tending to your baby? Are you annoyed by those social media posts that only show calm and sleeping babies and mothers in perfect shape?
And how do you feel in your new role as a mother? Happy but also exhausted? Proud but not liking yourself? Bored with everyday life and lack of social contact?
If you find a part of yourself in these questions, then we are alike. I felt the same way many times during motherhood with my first child about five years ago.
Now I have a 6-month-old baby and things are different. If you want to read the beginning of my story and advice, you can do so from this link:
Now let me pick up where I left off — with personal advice on what’s helpful to do as moms. And it’s not about baby care. It’s about taking care of you as a woman and a mother. Because more than ever, you need to give yourself time and love. You deserve it more than anyone after the exhausting months of pregnancy, hormonal and emotional changes.
It’s not easy to surrender your body and get used to its changes. But it happens. It’s in our nature. It’s how we survive as a species and continue our lives on a new and more meaningful level. We become parents and being in this new role we often don’t know what is right.
6. Take care of your dreams and plan for the future
We are often so focused on our children and building their lives and happiness that we forget about our own. And our dreams and plans? How long will we put them off? We won’t get any younger, and they will grow up to have their own dreams. And do ours deserve to be neglected once our children have come along? The answer is No.
The arrival of children should not completely change our plans for the future. If you subjugate your entire existence to your children, they will take advantage of that, albeit unconsciously, and demand more and more of your time and energy. This is perfectly normal.
My personal example. My first baby was born a month earlier than expected. Caring for his survival and development, especially in the beginning was overwhelming and exhausting. I forgot about myself. I had no time for sleep and food.
The clock ticked only to the rhythm of the baby. Feeding, swaddling, diaper changing, gymnastics, and all over again. Bathing late at night, night feeding. Several night feedings. And my dreams? I completely forgot about them. Time passed, and I still didn’t find time to write. Because that’s the thing that makes me happy. I love pouring my thoughts and feelings onto the white page in the form of poems, stories, and articles. I wasn’t doing any of that. I wondered if I could write as well as I used to.
Thankfully, nothing has changed in a negative way. As you can see, even now I write. When you have your passion and are good at it, you remember how to do it. It is like breathing. It is a natural process.
Why is it important to take care of your dreams and plan for your future?
Because this is your life. It is meaningless without dreams and plans for the future. It would become a superficial existence. Do you want to climb some new mountain peaks? Let a relative watch your baby and do it. Or wait for it to grow a little and put it in a proper backpack. Take it with you if it’s safe enough. Make it part of making your dreams come true. It is helpful for children to see our personal example in accomplishing the activities that are meaningful to us. That way they will respect our personal choices and our time and begin to have dreams of their own.
Make plans one step at a time. Be mindful of your baby’s specifics and circumstances when raising him or her. It matters whether there is someone to help you or not.
Planning will give you variety in your daily routine. It will give you a new direction to think about. You will diversify and be more content. Children change quickly, and so do we.
Don’t turn your back on your dreams. Fight for them. They are part of your identity as a human being. Not as parents. And you are people first and parents second. Don’t change that order.
7. Find a new source of income
As your family grows, so do your expenses. If you have been managing a certain amount of money and have been able to save, this is likely to change. The upside to this is that parenthood will make you more adaptable. You’ll be looking for ways to get a higher income that you hadn’t thought of before.
I tried my hand at network marketing a few years ago. I tried hard for over a year, but the results were unsatisfactory. I found great health products that I still use for my family and that’s the positive in this story. However, that business was not the thing that inspired me. That’s why I gave up.
Right now, my desire is to earn extra income through freelance writing. It feels different to me. I’m motivated and I believe I will succeed this time.
There are many different options for passive income. Explore them and choose the one that brings you the most satisfaction and fits your lifestyle.
8. Enrich your social circle
We live in a time where we can connect with people more than ever, yet we are lonely. Take advantage of social networks to meet new people with similar interests to yours. These may be other moms looking for a way to diversify walks in the park with their babies.
Try to find events that are suitable for parents with children. This might include an organized fun program for the kids during which parents have a chance to interact with each other. You’d be amazed how many others there are like you, and these are the same people who, just months or a year ago, were child-free and free to attend all sorts of events.
If you diversify your family life with a variety of social interactions, your children will get used to adapting more easily to unfamiliar surroundings, as well as interacting with new people. Everyone wins in this situation, so it’s worth getting out, relaxing, and embracing your new social life as a parent.
9. Find a new hobby
It’s never too late to find something new to inspire and entertain you. Forget your preconceptions and take a painting class, learn to wall climb, or go surfing. Forget lines like, “I don’t need a new hobby!”, “I don’t have any extra money right now!” or “I’m too busy for a new hobby!”
Here are some ideas for fun new hobbies you can try on your own, with friends, or with your partner:
Indoor hobbies — reading, mastering a new language, taking an online class, playing board games, baking, cake decorating, doing Sudoku, doing DIY projects, coloring in adult coloring books
Outdoor hobbies — Gardening, cycling, traveling, swimming, hiking, fishing, snorkeling
10. Be a dream woman for yourself and the man next to you
Tip number 10. For me, it is the most challenging. But also the one that will change you completely. The one that will transform your life and your relationship.
Why is it so significant to try? Because with the arrival of the child, the situation in the family changes. Many men remain neglected. Many relationships break down because of this and the increased tension between partners. This is a turning point in many relationships. There are cases where many women do not pay as much attention to their appearance. Their husbands resent this fact and some of them even cheat. In turn, women feel misunderstood and bitter that their partner does not accept them as they are, even though they have given him the greatest gift — they have given birth to a child.
Some of you will ask yourselves — am I not already a dream woman if I am also a mother?
For me, the birth of a child is one of the most important and defining moments in a woman’s life. She is transformed both physically and mentally. Because of this fact, her life becomes more challenging and it takes more effort for her to find time for herself, her family, her partner, and her friends. But it’s all for the best — to get more out of life.
Remember how you took care of your appearance before motherhood. Make an effort to look good not only for the sake of the man next to you but also for your own sake. Try things you didn’t before you became a mother. And let them be totally and solely about you and your partner.
Find time for romance and caring. Be supportive and create an atmosphere of calm through which the man wants to be an involved father. Give him the freedom to make his own mistakes. Guide and encourage him. He should be your greatest helper.
This is family — a string of challenges to tackle together. To become better, faster, more successful, and happier. Don’t waste your time in meaningless conversations, playing games on your phone, and scrolling on social media.
Make a plan with tasks and desires and implement it. That way, you’ll never feel like time is wasted. You owe it to yourself and the beautiful little one you have given life to. Be a super mom! Any of us can do it, even without sharing it on our profile. The important thing is that you know it!
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