Be a Better Woman, so You Can Be the Best Mom (Part 1)

Have you ever had the feeling that you would like to change your behavior during a certain period of your life if you could? And how many of you would prefer it didn’t happen to them and learn from the mistakes of others?

As parents, we often make mistakes, and the time in which we can correct them for our children’s sake diminishes rapidly as they grow. To be on the right path more often, simply learn from the experiences of others.

A woman’s time becoming a mother inevitably imprints on her whole being for the rest of her life. As a mother of two, there are many conclusions that I have come to. In this article I want to share what I think is meaningful to focus on during your pregnancy and motherhood periods so that you don’t regret later how you chose to spend them.

1. Learn something new every day.

And yes… start while you’re pregnant. If you’re about to become a mother for the first time, you’re probably not fully aware that once you give birth, having a child will change your whole world and daily life.

I remember with my first son, born prematurely, I had to get up every two and a half hours at night to feed him. He had to gain weight. With tears in my eyes, I begged him to eat and he drank 10 ml of formula in an hour. Hours were passing slowly and agonizingly. But this was also the time when I showed him my mother’s endless love.

You can’t learn everything about your baby before you start spending time with it, but there are specifics about growing in the first year that you can get familiar with during pregnancy.

Attend pregnancy lectures that are organized in your city. They often give out free samples of baby products that you can use later. If there are no such lectures in your city, watch some online. Read magazines and websites on the topic. Find out where there are baby clothes and baby food shops in your neighbourhood. Believe me, this will save you a lot of efforts once your baby comes, and you will have the confidence that you are still prepared for this happy event in your life.

As for what to study after you give birth, my advice is to keep educating yourself on the subject, but also studying other things that entertain, inspire and calm you. For example, a great idea for the nights you are breastfeeding or feeding your baby is to listen to a favourite podcast or audio book. This way, you won’t fall asleep and you’ll use your time wisely.

I know that sometimes it will be hard to focus because of all the stress and the fatigue that has built up, but look at these moments as a reward for wanting to be not only a good mom, but also a loyal person to yourself. This tip is also related to the next one, which is:

2. Don’t just be a mother. Put yourself in the center.

For a long time I gave up myself completely to my first child. I neglected myself, my needs to rest, to socialize, to make time for the things I love. A HUGE MISTAKE that I am trying not to make now that I have two children. As moms, we often obsess over our babies and that’s totally normal. But think about your life 5, 10, 15 years from now — when your kids are older and won’t be around you as often. They will go their own way, and you… you will be alone with yourself again. You certainly don’t want to be wondering what to do with your time, what you’re interested in, and if there’s anyone to go out to the theatre with.

But when, if not while they are young, to be with our children — some of you are thinking. That’s true, but let’s not confuse quality with quantity. Let’s spend a quality 20 minutes with our child rather than an hour looking at our phone, getting up all the time and interrupting the game. Be present while you are with your child, but also allow yourself to be important — to yourself. Your child will respect you much more if you set healthy boundaries and show that you need time for yourself, your partner and your friends.

Don’t be a slave to your child with the excuse that you love it and can’t refuse it. There is time for everything. Just organize yourself. Please yourself too.

3. Allow yourself to rest.

Sleep during the day when you can’t at night. Leave the dishes in the sink, postpone cleaning with the vacuum cleaner, buy prepared meals instead of cooking. No one ever got sick from a few unwashed dishes, but to be good for yourself and your family, you need to rest. Sometimes coffee and green tea help battle overwork, but overall sleep is sleep and you need it to survive as a mom.

In addition to sleep, allow yourself moments of relaxation with your favorite music, meditate, read in your favorite armchair, get a manicure, a facial and hair mask, go for a massage, and generally give your body and senses pleasure as often as possible. You’ll be a much more content and happy mother that way.

Taking care of yourself shows your level of self-esteem. This includes working out.

4. Exercise.

Maybe you’re not a fan of the sport. At least not at first. This is my case. But once you start feeling better in your skin and seeing a positive result, you won’t want to stop.

Sure, if you’re breastfeeding, maybe the weight gained during pregnancy will go away, but there’s nothing certain. It didn’t work for me and I was pretty frustrated until I got back into shape. It was easier with my second child as he was lazier and preferred to be bottle fed. I figured I would take advantage of the situation without feeling guilty about not having enough breastmilk due to less stimulation. I started working out and dieting and in three months I even lost the weight I had before pregnancy.

Don’t put off getting in shape for too long because your body will get used to functioning at that weight and it will be harder to lose weight after that. Respect yourself and take care of your appearance. Even if you are tired, take a shower or a hot bath, put on makeup, wear a stylish dress and high heels. Show the man next to you that you are not the only mother.

5. Train your brain.

Have you ever felt downright stupid during pregnancy? Forgetting, not finding the right words and generally not feeling as smart as you generally are? This phenomenon is called “brain fog” is occurs during the first trimester of pregnancy. Changes in the levels of the hormones progesterone, estrogen and relax in cause it by lowering the brain’s cognitive ability and helpfulness, memory and concentration.

I think these effects of the female body changing during pregnancy are enough to convince you of the need to train your brain during this period. What can you do?

Provide yourself with a sufficiently varied diet rich in vitamins and minerals. Omega 3 fatty acids and folic acid are especially important for baby brain formation in the first trimester, so I recommend taking prenatal vitamins.

Besides light exercise and yoga during pregnancy, you can also do your brain fitness. There are many apps with logic tasks, which improve concentration, memory and brain speed.

If you notice that you forget, then use your phone or a notepad to write down important events and tasks. If you happen to misunderstand what people say to you, try to convey what is said out loud in your own words until it matches that of your interlocutor.

What are the other activities I recommend you do to be a happy woman and an even happier mother, you will learn soon in the second part on this topic.

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