Badass Single People: Dozens of Books for You

Here are dozens of affirming and unapologetic books about single people and single life

If you think books about single people are all about dating and other ways of escaping single life, you are in the wrong century. In many nations around the world, more people than ever before are single, many by choice. They deserve affirming and unapologetic books about their lives, and at last, they are getting plenty of them.

Here are dozens of books for and about badass single people, organized into 8 categories. Included are links to the books, to reviews I’ve written of many them, and (under “also see”) to other essays I’ve written relevant to the themes of the books. Not all of the books that deserve to be mentioned are listed here, only the ones I’ve written about so far. (Some of my writings were published at Psych Central and are no longer available there.) I hope to continue adding to this collection. Deliberately excluded are any books with a “poor me, I’m single” mentality. If you liked the attitude of a previous Medium essay of mine, Writing single life: A manifesto, I think you will approve of this collection.

The books are listed in these categories:

· Single Life as Described by Social Scientists, Reporters, and Other Professionals

· Memoirs, Essays, and Cultural Critiques

· Friends and Family

· Solitude, Happy Loners, and Living Alone

· Transitions: Moving, Retiring, Divorcing, Becoming Widowed

· Not Specifically, or Not Only, about Single Life, But Relevant to It

· Activism, Advocacy, and Social Justice

· Critiques of Marriage and Love

Single Life as Described by Social Scientists, Reporters, and Other Professionals

1. Single at Heart, by Bella DePaulo

(will be published in the fall of 2023; can be pre-ordered)

Also see:

Single and flourishing: Transcending the deficit narratives of single life

2. Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living, by Elyakim Kislev

Also see:

19 ways single people are doing way better than you realized

What makes single people happy?

The social lives of single people

3. Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

Are single people the real grown-ups?

The children of single parents are doing better than you realized

Fools rush in to offer advice to supposedly hapless single people

“Living Single” blog at Psychology Today

My blog at Medium

4. The Love Jones Cohort: Single and Living Alone in the Black Middle Class, by Kris Marsh

See also:

Single, Black, and prospering: Singlehood’s trailblazers

5. The New Single Woman, by Kay Trimberger

Also see:

Single in the 21st century: Is it really easier now?

Single women in India: A conversation with Kay Trimberger

6. Leftover in China: The Women Shaping the World’s Next Superpower, by Roseann Lake

Here’s my review.

Also see:

China’s “leftover women” and “shake and bake” husbands

Women who hid in empty graves to avoid marrying

7. All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation, by Rebecca Traister

Also see:

Before “All the Single Ladies” there was “Singled Out”

Critiques in the journal Signs

8. A Table for One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender, and Time, by Kinneret Lahad

Also see:

The waiting game: A stigmatizing way of thinking about single life

Telling our personal stories: What we will — and will not — get out of it

Israeli scholar calls for the politicization of singlehood

9. One: Valuing Single Life, by Clare Payne

Also see:

The double standards of single life

10. Here Comes the Bride: Women, Weddings, and the Marriage Mystique, by Jaclyn Geller

Also see:

Meet a brilliant, fearless, and funny satirist of the marriage mystique

11. The Challenge of Being Single, by Marie Edwards

Also see:

A singles manifesto, from a pioneer

12. Marriage vs. Single Life: How Science and the Media Got It So Wrong, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

What’s wrong with studies and claims about the supposed benefits of marriage?

13. How to Be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for a Soul Mate, by Jennifer L. Taitz

Here’s my review.

Also see:

What does it mean when married people feel sorry for single people?

14. It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single, by Sara Eckel

Also see:

About those 27 wrong reasons you are single

15. The Best of Single Life, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

The real reasons for living single

16. The Single Woman: A Discursive Investigation, by Jill Reynolds

Also see:

In between: Happily single but interested in coupling

Memoirs, Essays, and Cultural Critiques

17. No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone, by Keturah Kendrick

Here’s my review.

Also see:

Single life in the 21st century: A guide to owning it

The two choices women make that are routinely met with skepticism

18. Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own, by Kate Bolick

Here’s my review.

Also see:

10 fun facts about spinsters

50 shades of single

Spinster is the new black

19. Hard to Love: Essays and Confessions, by Briallen Hopper

Here’s my review.

Also see:

From “The One” to “the ones”: A beautiful personal story

What should you call the people who feel like family but aren’t?

20. The Art of Not Falling Apart, by Christina Patterson

Here’s my review.

21. Single by Choice: Happily Unmarried Women, edited by Kalpana Sharma

Also see:

Stories from the 1% in India: Women who stay single for life

22. No One Tells You This, by Glynnis MacNicol

Also see:

Is there a script for your life if you choose to be single?

23. The Unexpected Joy of Being Single, by Catherine Gray

Here’s my review.

24. I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married, by Nika C. Beamon

Also see:

Life experiences of successful single black women

25. Single State of the Union: Single Women Speak Out on Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness, edited by Diane Mapes

Also see:

The singles collection

26. If Someone Says, “You Complete Me,” RUN!, by Whoopi Goldberg

Also see:

Why Whoopi Goldberg doesn’t want anyone to complete her

27. Single: Arguments for the Uncoupled, by Michael Cobb

Also see:

Who is the true avatar of the lonely crowd — the single person or the couple?

Have you been bullied into coupling?

28. Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, by Sasha Cagen

Also see:

“Single at heart”: Is it Quirkyalone’s naughty cousin?

29. Gay and Single…Forever?, by Steven Bereznai

Also see:

Single forever: Stories and insights from gay men

30. The Spinsterlicious Life, by Eleanore Wells

Also see:

11 ways the world will be better when single is the norm

31. Those Girls: Single Women in Sixties and Seventies Popular Culture, by Katherine J. Lehman

Also see:

Before “Mad Men”: Single women take 1960s and 1970s television by storm

32. How to Be a Happy Bachelor, by Craig Wynne

Also see:

The happy bachelor

Friends and Family

33. How We Show Up: Reclaiming Family, Friendship, Community, by Mia Birdsong

Also see:

How to break out of the box that people try to stick you in

34. Modern Families: Stories of Extraordinary Journeys to Kinship, by Joshua Gamson

Also see:

Our families: What’s missing?

35. How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

Why many happy couples choose to live singly

Innovative 21st century living arrangements

36. Single Parents and Their Children: The Good News No One Ever Tells You, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

Single parents and their children: Don’t believe the prophecies of doom

37. We Live for the We: The Political Power of Black Motherhood, by Dani McClain

Also see:

Stigmatized? Tell another story about yourself — about your strengths

38. Single, No Children: Who Is Your Family?, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

Adults with no kids

39. Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids, edited by Meghan Daum

Here’s my review.

Also see:

Choosing not to have kids: 16 writers bare their souls

No kids? 7 things we get wrong about regret

What’s wrong with telling a person with no children that it could still happen?

40. How to Be Childless: A History and Philosophy of Life without Children, by Rachel Chrastil

Also see:

People who never have children: 21 facts from 500 years

41. Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship, by Kayleen Schaefer

Here’s my review.

Solitude, Happy Loners, and Living Alone

42. At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life, by Fenton Johnson

Also see:

Solitaries: Who They Are and What They Offer

Spinsters, bachelors, solitaries, and the question of whether Walt Whitman led a “partial” life

Committing to Celibacy: Is That Really a Thing?

Quotes for solitude lovers and unapologetic single people

43. Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone, by Eric Klinenberg

Also see:

This book will change our lives

How going solo takes lonely out of being alone

44. Living Alone: Globalization, Identity and Belonging, by Lynn Jamieson and Roona Simpson

Also see:

How living alone will transform men

45. Live Alone and Like It, by Marjorie Hillis

Also see:

Living alone and liking it: Brilliant and timely observations from 85 years ago

Advice to singles from an editor at Vogue — in 1936

46. Alone Time: Four Seasons, Four Cities, and the Pleasures of Solitude, by Stephanie Rosenbloom

Here’s my review.

Also see:

My Q and A with Stephanie Rosenbloom for the Washington Post

15 quotes for solitude lovers from the book, “Alone Time”

47. Solitude: A Return to the Self, by Anthony Storr

Also see:

For evidence of emotional maturity, look at a person’s capacity to be alone

48. Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto, by Anneli Rufus

Also see:

Why true loners are awesome — and why you thought they weren’t

The happy loner

49. Alone: The badass psychology of people who like being alone, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

The badass personalities of people who like being alone

50. How to Be Alone, by Sara Maitland

Also see:

Can anyone come to love being alone?

“How to Be Alone”: 14 quips and tips

51. Odd Woman and the City: A Memoir, by Vivian Gornick

52. The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories, by Marina Keegan

Here’s my review.

Also see:

What is the opposite of loneliness?

Transitions: Moving, Retiring, Divorcing, Becoming Widowed

53. Splitopia: Dispatches from Today’s Good Divorce and How to Part Well, by Wendy Paris

54. Suddenly Single After 50: The Girlfriends’ Guide to Navigating Loss, Restoring Hope, and Rebuilding Your Life, by Barbara Ballinger and Margaret Crane

Also see:

If you have been single all your life, you have a lot to be proud of.

55. Making the Big Move: How to Transform Relocation into a Creative Life Transition (3rd edition), by Cathy Goodwin

56. Essential Retirement Planning for Solo Agers, by Sara Zeff Geber

57. Retiring Solo: Plan to Be Happy, Healthy and Independent in the Years Ahead, by Lori Martinek

Not Specifically, or Not Only, about Single Life, But Relevant to It

58. Happy Ever After: Escaping the Myth of the Perfect Life, by Paul Dolan

Also see:

Is it true that single women with no kids are the happiest?

59. The New “I Do”: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists, and Rebels, by Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson

Also see:

7 kinds of marriages — and one awesome alternative

60. The New Better Off: Reinventing the American Dream, by Courtney E. Martin

61. Somebody Hold Me: The Single Person’s Guide to Nurturing Human Touch, by Epiphany Jordan

62. On Silver Wings: A Life Reconstructed, by Kristin Noreen

Here’s my review.

63. On Being 40 (ish), edited by Lindsey Mead

Here’s my review.

64. The Tenacity of the Couple-Norm: Intimate citizen regimes in a changing Europe, by Sasha Roseneil, Isabel Crowhurst, Tone Hellesund, Ana Cristina Santos, and Mariya Stoilova

Also see:

Why the longing to couple can seem natural when it isn’t

Feeling disadvantaged for not leading a conventional coupled life?

Activism, Advocacy, and Social Justice

65. Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families Under the Law, by Nancy Polikoff

Also see:

The marriage-promotion claim that is right — for all the wrong reasons

66. Has the Gay Movement Failed? By Martin Duberman

Also see:

Was marriage equality too small a dream?

67. Should marriage be a ticket to privilege? (Books are in sections II and III)

68. Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It, by Bella DePaulo

Also see:

Singlism and matrimania

Monthly blog posts at Unmarried Equality

69. Moving Past Marriage: Why We Should Ditch Marital Privilege, Eschew Relationship-Status Discrimination, and Embrace Non-marital History , by Jaclyn Geller

See also:

A world without marriage

Critiques of Marriage and Love

70. Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law, by Elizabeth Brake

Also see:

Should marriage be abolished, minimized, or left alone?

71. A History of Marriage, by Elizabeth Abbott

Also see:

Single life as a ‘satisfying choice and a profound threat’

The couple rises: Historian Elizabeth Abbott explains why

72. More Perfect Unions: The American Search for Marital Bliss, by Rebecca L. Davis

Also see:

The American quest for bliss in marriage has a checkered past

On asking how to be married and not whether to be

Money problems have nothing to do with marital problems and other bad advice from the past

If marriage keeps changing, does that mean it has no real essence or value?

73. Marriage Confidential: The Post-Romantic Age of Workhorse Wives, Royal Children, Undersexed Spouses, and Rebel Couples Who Are Rewriting the Rules, by Pamela Haag

Also see:

Keeping marriage alive with affairs, asexuality, polyamory, and living apart

Melancholy marriage: Are we in a post-romantic era?

74. Marriage, a History, by Stephanie Coontz

Also see:

Single in America: 6 cutting-edge perspectives, 2 others

Without unmarried equality, gender equality is not enough

Bigger, broader meanings of love and romance

75. What Love Is and What It Could Be, by Carrie Jenkins

Here’s my review.

76. Love, Inc.: Dating Apps, the Big White Wedding, and Chasing the Happily Neverafter, By Laurie Essig

Here’s my review.

77. ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, by Angela Chen

Also see:

Compulsory no more: Heterosexuality, sexuality, romance, and coupling

78. This Is Where You Belong: The Art and Science of Loving the Place You Live, by Melody Warnick

Here’s my review.

One Last Suggestion:

Read these brilliant black authors to understand single life

[Want to learn more? Take a look at this collection of articles on all sorts of topics relevant to single life. Watch my TEDX talk, “What no one ever told you about people who are single.” Check out my website. Disclosure: Links to books may include affiliate links.]