Bad Habits Holding You Back? Unlock A Better Future
And it won’t cost you a penny — only honesty
Two months ago, I decided to delete the Facebook app on my phone. It was eating up too much time, and the constant drama on the platform harmed my mental health. Rather than adding to my life, it was sucking the life out of me, one scroll at a time.
It seemed like such a small change — and one I would surely regret— but it has changed my life for the better.
It made me think of something someone said to me once. It’s something we often dismiss, believing that others control our future.
But you can change your future — one habit at a time.
The trick is knowing why sudden changes like New Year’s Resolutions fail:
- Lack of accountability
- Unspecific goals
- Unclear reasons
- Changes that just aren’t for you
Some of us want to wake up on 1st January and be a new, better person. But however good your intentions are, that’s not how it works.
The best way to change a bad habit is to identify what’s holding you back, what you really want for your future you, and how to get there.
1. Decide What Changes You Want to Make
Do you drink too much? Eat too much sugar? Skip on exercise?
Would you like to spend more time writing? Is social media ruling your life?
What you change today can be the start of a new life tomorrow.
It can be anything you want. It doesn’t even have to be something as big as changing your profession or taking up running. The point is that big changes start with one small step.
The first step is deciding what you want to change.
I started on this path to a better life by removing Facebook, and now that I feel stronger without it, I’m looking at other little things I want to change.
A change can be anything from cutting down on sugar to writing a novel. The key is to look at something that’s true to you. I have failed every vegan diet challenge there is because, well, I like bacon and cheese.
Veganism isn’t for me. Pursuing it would be futile, no matter how much I might admire veganism or oppose animal cruelty.
However, I can work towards a better diet, and that’s more achievable than a radical change like veganism.
But to truly change your future, you need to understand how you ended up with the habits you have.
2. Find The Real Reason Behind Your Bad Habits And Address It
Human brains are inherently lazy, and our mind likes to take shortcuts. That’s why habits are so hard to change.
We live on auto-pilot.
We reach for easy meals because we’re stressed or tired, use alcohol and sweets to treat ourselves, and persistently postpone exercise goals to the next day.
But there’s another reason why we’re stuck scrolling through Facebook, digging into sugary and fatty food, or avoiding exercise.
That reason is psychological.
The key to changing any such habit is emotional literacy and honesty.
Explore the reason why you’re scrolling on Facebook.
Is it loneliness?
Is it curiosity?
Is it jealousy?
I have friends who avoid exercise because they’re too self-conscious. Others can’t stop themselves gorging on chocolate and crisps because they’re lonely.
Sometimes bad habits are symptoms. You can’t change them unless you address the underlying issues.
When you can find the real reason why you’re stuck with a bad habit, you can work on changing your future.
You can do this with three simple steps:
- Identify a pattern — do you tend to use Facebook or eat chocolate at a specific time during the day? Most emotional eating happens in the evening, but there is also a link between our brain’s immune system and a desire to drink alcohol in the evening.
- Identify emotions — what do you feel when you reach for your phone or a glass of wine? Are you lonely, bored, or maybe depressed? Ask yourself these questions. Be honest.
- Identify alternatives — instead of feeling too self-conscious to go for a run, could you go for a walk? Could taking up a hobby such as knitting or colouring help you avoid thinking about wine, chocolate or crisps? Reaching out to a friend could help combat loneliness, so you don’t feel the need to fill a void with unhealthy food.
3. Unlock A Better Future By Taking Responsibility
Something my mother used to say often pop up in my head when I eat because I’m bored:
“You don’t always have to put things in your mouth.”
The rebel in me wants to say, “Maybe I do, Mum! Maybe this bar of chocolate is making me happy!” but she’s right. I don’t always have to put things in my mouth, and sometimes I ignore an underlying issue by shoving chocolate into my gob.
When I stop and ask myself why I want to eat this piece of chocolate or skip exercise, I hold myself accountable for my decisions.
This also means I’m responsible for my failures.
My bad habits are not someone else’s fault. When we say, “I need a glass of wine because XYZ has been horrible to me” or “There’s a pandemic, so might as well eat while I’m still alive”, we lose control over our actions.
We give other people power over our life.
But nothing external should hold that much power over you.
When you own up to your mistakes, you can fully take on the responsibility for your future and become the best you can be.
The question is: how honest can you be with yourself?
If you’re not ready to give up on chocolate or wine yet, how about some great writing from Carrie Kolar?
