Are You Really Soulmates Or Just Playmates?

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Abstract

//unsplash.com/@laurenraderphoto?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Lauren Rader</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="06ef">If you crave a mate that accepts you even when you’re are not so fun, who cares about how you feel and not just how you make them feel, one who is always willing to be there for you no matter what and makes you feel safe and secure then a soul mate is who you need.</p><p id="cef4">This is not to say the relationship is going to be all easy-breezy. So that’s one myth shattered. Why? Nobody is perfect and we all have things about us we cannot change. Hence, no relationship is without its sometimes fixable, sometimes perpetual problems.</p><p id="7945">However, when your connection is that deep and the superficial differences crop up causing friction, you will be able to adapt by accommodating or negotiating them in healthy ways.</p><p id="5c7d" type="7">“A soul mate offers you that connection on a much deeper level.”</p><h2 id="e2cb">Another myth shattered</h2><p id="5244">That when soulmates finally meet they stay together forever is actually a myth that doesn't really hold true. Sometimes the universe brings a soulmate into your life for a reason and only for a season. Then the circumstances are such that you have no choice but to part ways but even in this case, many have found that perhaps because they have touched each other so deeply, even when apart a connection is always there.</p><h2 id="6bcc">How do you know which is which?</h2><figure id="c738"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*mQPTxnvgWQ_1rYfJf_4VTg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by cottonbro: <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-tank-top-sitting-beside-man-in-black-tank-top-4255496/">https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-black-tank-top-sitting-beside-man-in-black-tank-top-4255496/</a></figcaption></figure><p id="0eca">As correctly observed by one <a href="https://www.reginademeo.com/2014/04/06/are-you-looking-for-a-playmate-or-soulmate/">writer</a>, the main indicator where playmates are concerned are the usual questions that come up very early on. They are mainly questions about a partner’s inclination to have fun, their interest, and their availability. So, typically they will be questions asking, <i>what they like to do for fun and entertainment, where they li

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ke to do those things, and how they can fix convenient times.</i></p><p id="7c6c">A set of totally different questions get priority when deeper connections are desired. The potential partner's main queries will be aimed at getting to know each other’s core values, life and relationship goals, and queries aimed at gauging levels of empathy and compassion among other things.</p><p id="e38c">Alignment in these areas is crucial when forming deep, healthy bonds.</p><h2 id="583b">So, which shall it be for you: playmate or soulmate?</h2><p id="a3a9">It 100% depends on your relationship goals. Your goals determine which mate is right for you at any particular point in your life. They determine how deep a connection you want from your mate or it’s the inclination for fun and adventure and the desire to create exciting new memories that reigns supreme.</p><div id="3e5d" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-happens-when-your-sole-mate-is-not-your-soul-mate-5d14ded7efc7"> <div> <div> <h2>What Happens When Your “Sole Mate” Is Not Your Soul Mate</h2> <div><h3>It can get complicated.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*tuTantKOz9uUNUeYSIhbUg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="a61b">To enjoy unlimited access to my stories and others consider signing up to join Medium <a href="https://medium.com/@timdahi60/membership"><b><i>using my referral link</i></b></a>. It’s $5/month and you support me and all the other writers you read at no extra cost to you.</p><div id="b369" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@timdahi60/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Tim Dahi</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*lE4U1oW-gl0vpUUz)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Heartbreak can result when you mistake to make one for the other.

I had a playmate once and it was so much “fun”. And why not? We were attracted to each other in many ways, we shared a sense of humor and a physical connection we were not afraid to explore. On top of all that, people kept telling us we made a great couple.

I actually thought it would never end because as we played that well together we should have been able to stay together. It, unfortunately, never went beyond what it was.

“People kept teling us we made a great couple”

The major differences

My story particularly exemplifies that playmates can be anybody, anywhere, and for any length of time. They can be so much fun to be with when you make each other laugh, you share similar interests, and because such relationships can appear to have some semblance of stability.

However, if you are the type that craves more, they will soon leave you feeling confused and frustrated because even though you seem so good together, they can’t ever seem able to offer that secure, stable, deep commitment that you long for. What is more, if you waste a lot of time trying to convert playmates to soul mates there is a very real danger you might not be able to recognize soul mates when they eventually come along.

“Playmates can be anybody, anywhere and for any length of time.”

Soul mates on the other hand are unique. In a romantic relationship they offer that deep level connection you crave. With a soul mate, it is not just about the good times but it is a relationship between two secure individuals that complement and strengthen each other through thick and thin.

If you crave a mate that accepts you even when you’re are not so fun, who cares about how you feel and not just how you make them feel, one who is always willing to be there for you no matter what and makes you feel safe and secure then a soul mate is who you need.

This is not to say the relationship is going to be all easy-breezy. So that’s one myth shattered. Why? Nobody is perfect and we all have things about us we cannot change. Hence, no relationship is without its sometimes fixable, sometimes perpetual problems.

However, when your connection is that deep and the superficial differences crop up causing friction, you will be able to adapt by accommodating or negotiating them in healthy ways.

“A soul mate offers you that connection on a much deeper level.”

Another myth shattered

That when soulmates finally meet they stay together forever is actually a myth that doesn't really hold true. Sometimes the universe brings a soulmate into your life for a reason and only for a season. Then the circumstances are such that you have no choice but to part ways but even in this case, many have found that perhaps because they have touched each other so deeply, even when apart a connection is always there.

How do you know which is which?

As correctly observed by one writer, the main indicator where playmates are concerned are the usual questions that come up very early on. They are mainly questions about a partner’s inclination to have fun, their interest, and their availability. So, typically they will be questions asking, what they like to do for fun and entertainment, where they like to do those things, and how they can fix convenient times.

A set of totally different questions get priority when deeper connections are desired. The potential partner's main queries will be aimed at getting to know each other’s core values, life and relationship goals, and queries aimed at gauging levels of empathy and compassion among other things.

Alignment in these areas is crucial when forming deep, healthy bonds.