Are You Kidding Me With This Two Ingredient Ice Cream Sandwiches Recipe?

The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating. — John Walters

Are you seriously considering making these 2-ingredient ice cream sandwiches? I have to say, I’m utterly flabbergasted by the lack of effort put into this so-called “recipe.” If you have even an ounce of culinary dignity, I implore you to reconsider. Nevertheless, if you’re determined to proceed with this, at least pair it with a glass of Chateau d’Yquem Sauternes. The unparalleled sweetness of this wine might just make up for the lack of effort in this “recipe.”

Now, let’s get started with this lackluster “recipe.”

2-Ingredient Ice Cream Sandwiches

Ingredients:

• 16 Oreo sandwich cookies (plus extras as needed if any cookies break)
• 1 pint premium ice cream (straight from the freezer)

Special Equipment:

• Parchment paper

Instructions:

1. Prepare the ice cream: Lay a piece of parchment paper at least 18 inches long on a flat surface. Run a dull knife around the edge of the pint to loosen the ice cream, and let it slip out onto the parchment. Cut the cylinder in half, lengthwise, and lay the two halves on their sides next to each other, end to end. Wrap the parchment around the ice cream and use your hands to gently and quickly form it into a log shape, approximately the diameter of one Oreo cookie. Wrap tightly and place in the freezer until frozen solid, at least 1 hour.
2. Prepare the Oreos: Working on a baking sheet that can fit in the freezer, twist the Oreo cookie open and scrape the filling away with a dull knife. Discard the filling, or share it with a nearby child in desperate need of sugar. Repeat with the remaining Oreos and arrange 16 cookie halves scraped side up in preparation for the ice cream. Set aside.
3. Slice the ice cream: Once the ice cream log is solid, remove it from the freezer and cut it into approximately 16 slices, each approximately 1/2 inch thick, using a thin, sharp knife.
4. Assemble: Working quickly, place one ice cream disc on every upturned cookie, and top with the cookie’s other half. Place the baking sheet in the freezer to allow the ice cream to solidify before storing in an airtight container.

In the end, whether you decide to make these ice cream sandwiches or not, I can assure you that this “recipe” will never be worthy of an ounce of praise. But if you do decide to torture your tastebuds with this mediocrity, consider serving it with a side of self-loathing.

I hope you enjoy this recipe. Be sure to subscribe for more. If you think there is anything that needs to be corrected or added to this recipe, please feel free to leave a comment, or don’t.