Are You ‘Equal’ in Your Relationships?

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Abstract

iously for the sake of looking at the trees, seemed to be in an equation that seemed off-kilter. Both of them seemed to be college students: it was obvious that the girl did not think she was good looking, the boy was sure he was, and he also thought he was God's answer to all womankind. The girl obviously worshipped him. She was trying every trick in the book to attract him; and he was doing everything he could, short of yawning in her face, to show that he was not interested.</p><p id="8358">It was not a very pleasant sight...and it is replicated across so many relationships, that I have lost count. When one has to beg for attention from one’s partner, or 'significant other' , when all the phone calls and messages are only made by us, when meetings are only planned by us, we need to ask ourselves, seriously, whether it is worth staying on in a relationship so detrimental to our self-respect.</p><p id="602d">It would be good, then, to ask ourselves, very bluntly whenever we can, whether we are the only one interested in continuing with the relationship. And, then, perhaps, live the next chapter of our lives without hiding behind half-truths and self-delusions. It is difficult: perhaps, it is near impossible. But when we know that it has to be done and that it is the ONLY way out, it is better to do it. One needs a lot of stren

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gth and a lot of courage to do it, but this kind of amputation is necessary so that we don't live with a gangrenous part of our body.</p><p id="3769">I have had conversations with six ex-students last month, about relationships they were in; and that is the reason for this post, triggered off, of course, by what I witnessed in the Park today.</p><p id="c2b7">Take care. Stay strong. Stay happy. Stay Complete. Because only you can complete yourself.</p><p id="605a"><a href="https://readmedium.com/dreams-e171e6137431">©️ <i>2022 Suma Narayan. All Rights Reserved.</i></a></p><p id="b113">Shoutout to <a href="undefined">Dr. Preeti Singh</a> for her beautiful piece on Pondicherry, called Puducherry now.</p><div id="1035" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/come-walk-in-the-sea-and-enjoy-the-moments-of-pleasure-1a5ea3f2c6e9"> <div> <div> <h2>Come Walk In The Sea And Enjoy The Moments Of Pleasure</h2> <div><h3>I am the bubble make me the sea</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*cnJPsm8f-9pvfhodyXVJqA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

An Essay

There is this beautiful toast that the character of the late actress Sreedevi proposed in one of her last films, 'English Vinglish', where she says that in any relationship, both the partners should be on an equal footing, in all spheres of life. If there is any kind of inequality, she says, both partners should work at the equation, till it is bought back on an even keel. It is one of those eternal truths that need to be heeded. Always.

In the Avenue of trees that I go to walk in, one of the 'romantic' couples who come to the Park, obviously for the sake of looking at the trees, seemed to be in an equation that seemed off-kilter. Both of them seemed to be college students: it was obvious that the girl did not think she was good looking, the boy was sure he was, and he also thought he was God's answer to all womankind. The girl obviously worshipped him. She was trying every trick in the book to attract him; and he was doing everything he could, short of yawning in her face, to show that he was not interested.

It was not a very pleasant sight...and it is replicated across so many relationships, that I have lost count. When one has to beg for attention from one’s partner, or 'significant other' , when all the phone calls and messages are only made by us, when meetings are only planned by us, we need to ask ourselves, seriously, whether it is worth staying on in a relationship so detrimental to our self-respect.

It would be good, then, to ask ourselves, very bluntly whenever we can, whether we are the only one interested in continuing with the relationship. And, then, perhaps, live the next chapter of our lives without hiding behind half-truths and self-delusions. It is difficult: perhaps, it is near impossible. But when we know that it has to be done and that it is the ONLY way out, it is better to do it. One needs a lot of strength and a lot of courage to do it, but this kind of amputation is necessary so that we don't live with a gangrenous part of our body.

I have had conversations with six ex-students last month, about relationships they were in; and that is the reason for this post, triggered off, of course, by what I witnessed in the Park today.

Take care. Stay strong. Stay happy. Stay Complete. Because only you can complete yourself.

Shoutout to Dr. Preeti Singh for her beautiful piece on Pondicherry, called Puducherry now.