Summary

The article discusses the challenges faced by introverts who feel pressured to adopt an extroverted lifestyle, particularly the mental and emotional toll it takes on them.

Abstract

The author of the article, an introvert and self-described empath, shares the personal struggle of living in a world that often demands extroverted behavior. They describe the discomfort and exhaustion that comes from social interactions, especially when being coaxed out by well-meaning but insistent friends like "Shannon." The article reflects on the historical lack of opportunities for introverts to work from home and avoid such pressures, and how society's perception of introversion has evolved. The author emphasizes the contentment found in solitude, engaging in personal interests, and the preference for written communication over phone calls. Despite the challenges, the author has found a way to thrive through writing and self-publishing, while also advocating for understanding and acceptance of introverts' need for space and quiet.

Opinions

Introverts often experience discomfort and exhaustion from social interactions, especially when pressured by extroverted friends.
The author believes that introverts do not need rescuing from their preferred solitary lifestyles and should be left alone to enjoy their solitude.
The article suggests that introverts can be quite happy and fulfilled when allowed to engage in activities that suit their temperament, such as reading and writing.
The author expresses a preference for text-based communication over phone calls due to anxiety associated with the latter.
There is a sense of irony noted by the author, having worked for an answering service despite phone call anxiety.
The author advocates for the acceptance of introverts' preferences and suggests that introverts should unite in setting boundaries with extroverts.
The article implies that societal changes, such as the increase in work-from-home opportunities, have positively impacted introverts' ability to live according to their nature.
The author uses personal anecdotes to emphasize the importance of self-acceptance and the pursuit of passion projects, like writing, as a means of supplementing income and personal fulfillment.

Are You an Introvert Forced to Live as an Extrovert?

It’s exhausting and mind-crushing.

There you are, sitting alone in a room with your computing device, whiling away the hours watching movies or listening to music.

Your phone rings, jolting you out of that comfortably numb moment you were just Zenning out with.

Who the hell is it this time? Didn’t you just get a call two days ago?

Oh, gods, it’s Shannon again. She’s wanting to go out tonight, and you’re being dragged with her.

You could say no. Sure, you know you could. But then Shannon would get upset, sighing loudly in your ear over the speaker resting against your ear. You hate when she does that. Always makes you feel horrible.

So, you get dressed up, ready to go do whatever the hell she’s wanting tonight, even though you’d much rather stay home and keep letting the moss grow beneath your butt.

Everything’s much more comfortable when moss is involved.

You show all the signs.

You recognized years ago you showed all the signs of a classic introvert. Being around people, especially those gregarious sorts who live life to the fullest and all that rot really wears you down. It seems like you need a break all the time.

I’ve lived life that way for as long as I can remember, really. Before being acknowledged as an introvert was a “thing,” I was always called a loner. Most of that was with hushed breaths or snide comments, but that’s besides the point.

I’ve known for ages I was “different” with it, and I didn’t mind it that way. I preferred my alone time, and being a natural empath made it so if I was around people much, I was in for hell.

Working from home hasn’t always been “a thing.”

Unfortunately, there were few jobs thirty years ago that could be done by staying at home and being on the computer. The best I could hope for back in those days was stuffing envelopes or selling things through magazine advertisements.

It was either get a job or be homeless. Oh, I did do the homeless thing for a while, through no choice of my own. Would not recommend it.

I’ve had my fair share of “Shannons” over those years. They are the people who feel it’s necessary to “rescue you” from what they perceive as a lonely life. They take you under their wing and drag you out, despite your protestations, to live life to the fullest.

They don’t really recognize that you probably are, in fact, quite happy sitting there amongst the things you love. It’s home. Why would you go anywhere that didn’t have all your stuff? It’s precious, and it’s yours.

I’m an introvert who’s been forced to live an extrovert lifestyle, and it’s not much fun. It’s exhausting, mind-crushing, and wears me thin with a rapidity that frightens me sometimes.

The older I grow, the worse it gets.

In some ways, I’m actually grateful for my blindness kicking in when it did, because it allows me to enjoy my hermitage quite nicely, thank you very much. If you don’t tell my therapist I admitted that, I’ll keep the secret you don’t enjoy being forced to go out when you don’t want to. Deal?

I’d rather sit alone in the corner of a dark room, with my computer in front of me as I endlessly read article after book, feeding my mind with every imaginable topic I can get hold of. I’m a master of useless trivia, and I’m okay with that.

I do not need saved from my hovel. I need to be left alone to enjoy my solitude. If I could make it so every interaction in the future is done over texts or messages on my screen, I think I could be happy.

Just don’t call me. Talking on the phone makes me have to get up and pace the room, because I am so filled with anxiety. Ironic, considering one of the longest jobs I ever held was working for an answering service.

For all I know, my phone anxiety could be because of that job.

We don’t need rescued.

Maybe we introverts should unite against the behavior of extroverts looking to rescue us. We’d have to do it separately, of course, but that’s okay. They could get the point if we band together at reasonable social distances.

I feel like a spy in the extrovert camp. I see them there, plotting to rescue us introverts from our perceived angst-filled lives. They have good hearts, really. They only want what they think is the best for us. They don’t understand the best for us is to leave us be.

We’ll come out when we’re darn good and ready for it, and forcing us to do it because they’re frustrated isn’t the right way to do make it happen. It only exacerbates our already strained spirits.

Are you an introvert who has to live as an extrovert? How are you surviving it?

A couple more from me:

I Can’t See Myself Like My Wife Does

The mirror has always lied.

medium.com

Dangerous Ways Manipulators Cause Pain — They’re All About Sabotage

They’ll keep driving that knife in, as long as you let them.

medium.com

About me:

I am an author with over a dozen books and dozens of short stories published. I have experience with both traditional and self-publishing and love to discuss the pros and cons of both.

Why do I write? Because I am blind and live on low disability payments each month. The government graced me with trying to live on about $700 per month, and I decided to start publishing because it’s a way to supplement.

If you like my work and feel inclined to support it, please consider buying me a Ko-Fi.

Thank you from the depths of my soul for being here. Keep striving to “be the best you that you can be” in this moment.

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