Words
Are You a ‘Napunzel’ or a ‘Phug’?
Six more words that need adding to the dictionary
For the second installment of my conversation with Tree Langdon, I present six more neologisms to plug lexical gaps.
Here’s what we’ve come up with so far:
Six more words that should be in the dictionary
1. Napunzel
Move aside Grumpelstiltskin, it’s time to meet Napunzel. This one’s for the snoozers: a Napunzel is someone who sleeps so long their hair is visibly longer by the time they wake up.
It may be an exaggeration to call someone a Napunzel. The American Academy of Dermatology reckons that hair grows by about half an inch each month. Unless you’ve been hibernating it’s unlikely anyone will notice this change after a kip.
However, Napunzel can also be used figuratively to mean someone who is taking their time getting their work done — perhaps because they’ve been treasying — or who still hasn’t replied to your message.
2. Fateager
The chalk to Napunzel’s cheese, a fateager is someone who is always tired and is eager to tell people this. If you know someone who greets you on a morning with Jeez, I’m tired today, or who waves goodbye with an exuberant yawn, then you know a fateager.
There’s nothing wrong with being a fateager, just like how there’s nothing wrong with being an idiot — it’s the people around you who will suffer!
3. Stumple
To stumple is to stumble and bump. Often experiencing just one of these unsavoury accidents isn’t punishment enough — the universe really wants to get back at you for all those Thank you letters you didn’t send to distant relatives when you were eight years old.
A fateager may stumple while they are distracted complaining about their tiredness or a Napunzel might stumple out of bed after a lengthy nap.
In any case, it is not a pleasant experience. Knowing the word won’t reduce the pain of a stumple, but might cheer you up afterwards.
4. Phug
The definition is as ugly as the word: a phug is someone who gets hair stuck in a plug hole. Napunzels in particular are susceptible to be phugs.
Accusing someone of being a phug is a controversial move and you should make sure you fully understand how to use the term before you do.
Interestingly fug is also a word, defined as “A heavy, stale atmosphere”. The sort of atmosphere that settles after you’ve wrongly labelled someone a phug. Or THUGS.
5. Frocktrot
Ever turned up to a modern, edgy nightclub wearing your grandma’s old frock? No, me neither.
But if you did, you might be forced to frocktrot, that’s to say dance unashamedly despite lack of proper preparation.
I’m sure most of us have danced a frocktrot at some point in our lives. We may have been called upon to bust some unexpected moves at a family reunion or unwittingly volunteered to dance a samba at a Brazilian wedding.
The key to a good frocktrot is a flexible body and mind, and a complete disregard for your own dignity.
6. Wreeding
You’ve heard of reading. You’ve heard of weeding. But this revolutionary idea is going to blow your mind.
If you like to have a tidy garden but don’t much enjoy pulling up weeds, why not take a book out with you? Wreeding simply means reading a book while weeding a garden.
Of course, reading can be combined with many other activities: cleading can mean reading whilst cleaning, reating is a pleasurable blend of books and food, and drieading is the exhilarating challenge of reading whilst driving*.
*Don’t try this at home. Or on the road.
What other new terms should be in our daily vocabulary? Join in to create more weird and wonderful words!
I would love to see what Eli Snow, Jessica Cote, Rasheed Hooda, Lynette Clements, Aurora Eliam, Desiree Driesenaar, Karen Madej, R Tsambounieri Talarantas, Paroma Sen, ICO and Chowa Sekai can come up with!
