NEWSLETTER: ADVERSITY, GROWTH, SUCCESS

Are You a Carrot, an Egg, or a Coffee Bean?

Surviving in a world that has reached its boiling point

Have you ever heard the story of the carrot, egg, and coffee bean? If you haven’t, please take a minute to read it below or if you prefer, I included an embedded video with the same story.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed that as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” the daughter replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity — boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Source: University of Texas

After reading this story I had to decide if I was a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean, and after some careful self-reflection, here’s what I have discovered:

Earlier in my adult life, I was a carrot who pretended to be stronger than I was, and I crumbled under pressure, then after many disappointments in life, I became the hardened egg with a fragile and bruised ego, but now that I am discovering who I am, I’m brewing my coffee beans while releasing my sweet aroma into the world around me.

When you are faced with adversity which one are you, do you crumble like the carrot, harden like the egg, or do you change your external circumstances like the coffee bean? The choice is yours to make.

I chose to present the story above because the world has become a pot of boiling water and in order to survive, we must decide how we will navigate through those unstable environments. Life isn’t easy and at times, it seems like we are running out of choices, and some of us feel like we are struggling to keep our heads above the boiling water. But it is those moments of despair when all seem lost, and we encounter the darkness, that our beautiful light in our soul shines the brightest.

We all have been blessed with the freedom to pursue what makes us happy. So, though the world might be at its boiling point, instead of crumbling like the carrot, become the coffee bean and change your reality.

This is the third edition of what I am calling the Unpopular Opinion newsletter. I will keep it short because I took up a lot of your time with the carrots, egg, and coffee story. So, let’s get down to business.

Growth, Failures, Rants, Medium Fatigue, Successes and Some Viral Articles

• Growth: When I checked in with you all last month, UO was up to about 200 readers/writers aka “followers” and since then, we have gained 50 more fantastic people who find value in what the writers of the publication are saying. When I first began this venture, I had no idea what to expect, but with each passing day, I am so grateful for the tremendous success of the pub.
• Failures: I am a bit annoyed with myself because I failed at my mission to grab Ev Williams’ attention. He once responded to one of my private notes when I complained about poets and fiction writers needing more recognition on the platform; so, in my head, I thought he would’ve at least acknowledged the private note that I sent to him, even if it was to say no. But, is this really a failure? Hell no, I am looking at this as a win instead, why in the hell do I need Ev when the pub is doing so well? #westaygrinding, #coffeebean
• Rants: Oh crap, writers love to rant, rant, rant and I am here for it all. Last month, I launched the “Tell ‘Em Why You Mad” section for the pub and I have gotten some spirited rants that have been quite successful. Therefore, I will keep that section going because sometimes we all need that space to vent about some sh*t.
• Medium Fatigue: Last month one of my favorite pubs Know Thyself, Heal Thyself went on hiatus and its editor Diana C. gracefully explained that she needs a Medium detox and time to reevaluate, perhaps reinvent herself and the publication. The pub is extremely successful, and her abrupt departure made me analyze my own self to make sure that I am not heading down the path of being overwhelmed by Medium. A few months ago, I took a break from Medium because I was caught up in the web of trying to maintain top writer status and it became too much to handle. Consequently, I am no longer chasing the algorithms and views and I feel so much more relaxed. I write when I feel like it or when my muse finds her inspiration. Sometimes a break is needed to regroup, and I hope Diana C. returns to Medium soon.
• Successes and Viral Articles: What is considered a viral article on Medium? Is there a threshold for views that determines that? I don’t even know, perhaps I should research that, lol. Either way, there were a few articles that did very well last month, I believe they went viral, and I am so proud of all the writers because you guys are consistently kicking ass. Congratulations and continue to keep those topics interesting and push those boundaries because your opinions and perspectives matter.

Special note to readers and commenters: If you don’t agree with the perspective of a writer on the publication, why not write a rebuttal? Why spend time going back and forth exchanging 50 comments in the limited comment section when you could spend that energy sharing your thoughts in your own article on the subject at hand. I welcome you to write for UO because your opinions matter too.

Speaking of being welcoming. In my last 2 newsletters, I failed to welcome the new writers to the publication. How rude of me? Bear with me, I am still new to all of this. But now that I am aware of the errors of my ways, I will take this moment to welcome all the new writers to UO. And special thanks to all the other writers who have been here from the start. You guys, as well as the many readers, are the reason why UO has been so successful.

Damnit, I really need to stop rambling on and on in these newsletters, but before I go, one last thing, don’t forget that you can email me at [email protected] if you have questions, or send me a private note and I will respond as soon as I can. I’m also open to one-on-one conversations via phone call because I find that verbal communication is the healthiest means to exchange thoughts and ideas.

Thank you to all the writers and readers of the pub, and if you would like to read the previous newsletters, they can be found here:

Until next time my UO peeps…keep spreading those unpopular opinions because we care about being real, not popular and your opinions matter.

Be safe and enjoy the holiday with your families, friends, and loved ones.

Do you have an unpopular opinion that you would like to share? To become a writer for Unpopular Opinions, please see the guidelines below:

Tagging all the writers and poets who have contributed to UO. Thank you and I look forward to reading more of your opinionated pieces: Harry Seitz| Diepak Paul| Nichola Scurry| Michael Trigg| Joselromero $$$| Marcus| Mihai Brinas| Maxwell Jordan| Patrick M. Ohana| Kevin Jahleel Ishimwe| Dazzling Shene| S K| Anthi Psomiadou| Margie Willis| I. Trudie Palmer| Greg Proffit| Anthony Eichberger| Lila Juno| Terry L. Cooper| Shaun Banks| Bhavna Narula| Kira Dawn| Nah.| Alwia Al-Hassan| Nombuso Makhubu| Jace Loi| Gemini McCain| Calvin Lassiter| Carolyn Hastings| Ilana Lydia| Annelise Lords| Sahil Patel| Bobby Kountz| Anastasia H.| Mary Kay Ranger| Christophe Gagnon| Imad| K. Barrett| Taylor Moran| TC Hails| Diana C.| William Spivey| Frank Ontario| Jeremy Divinity| Brinas Mihaela| Myriam Ben Salem🦋| Camille Grady| Veronika Kaufmann| Breaking The Narrative| Kevin Alexander| Victoria Suzanne| George Blue Kelly

Thank you for reading the third edition of Unpopular Opinions newsletter.