Are My Pens Chatty or Am I Going Crazy?

Chronicles of a “delusional” writer ❤

Dear Diary,

Are my pens chatty or am I going crazy? You be the judge of that.

I got back from getting my pickup order from Lemonade — a delicious restaurant, by the way. I was just unboxing my food by the kitchen counter when a high-pitched, baby-like voice echoed through the walls.

“I’m finally gonna tell him how I feel today!”

The first thing that came to mind was the presence of a ghost, so I looked around, concerned. I surely was expecting to see the girl from ‘The Ring.’ That film I watched as a kid continues to haunt me whenever something eerie occurs.

“I’m NOT gonna tell him, tell him. I’m gonna make him realize what he’s missing out on!”

This was so weird. Where were these voices coming from? I looked around in shock.

“My neighbors?” I thought to myself. Nah, I only hear them when they’re yelling at each other. LOL.

“Spill the ink, Penny. What’s the plan?”

This one had a deeper, calmer voice. And who’s Penny? I know no Penny. Except for Penny from Big Bang Theory.

An expressive, concerned voice yelled back, “Don’t spill any ink! You’ll make everything dirty again. She just cleaned her desk!”

“Desk?” I looked at my desk. I did clean my desk this morning.

“It’s a metaphor, idiot,” the deeper, calmer voice said.

“I told you not to call me names,” said the expressive, concerned girl.

The baby-voiced one sighed loudly, “Girls… Focus,”

“Sorry, Penny,” they both uttered.

Finally, I woke up to the possibility of my pens talking among each other.

The baby-voiced one has this fake but gorgeous diamond on top of it. They called her Penny.

Let’s call the others Nelly and Zenny cause that girl with the deeper, calmer voice is purple and very zen. That pen is zen. LOL.

Penny continued, flipping her diamond top dramatically, “Picture this; I’m going to cozy up with the Everest-headed pen. Make Kenny wish he asked me out sooner.”

Nelly replied, “You’re going to use the Everest-headed pen to make Kenny jealous?”

“Exactly,” Penny said.

“I don’t like that. You know I like…” But before Nelly could finish, Zenny jumped in.

“Meh, whatevsies. Everest-head is a chic fella.”

Damn, Zenny was cool, but I was kind of annoyed that these female pens were talking about boys. Or was it all in my head?

Penny continued, “Okay, look. We’re going to laugh out loud like I just told you guys a joke.”

“What do you mean, Penny? You never say anything funny,” Nelly said.

Penny replied, “Ugh, that’s why we’re gonna act like it!”

“But how are we going to act like it if you can’t say anything funny ever?” Nelly continued.

Penny scoffed, annoyed. I still can’t help but think about how there are thousands of more important topics these girls could be talking about other than boys.

I guess I can see how being stuck in one little space may cause stagnation. It’s like high school all over again. And Penny was Regina George.

Zenny jumped in and started laughing out loud. Penny and Nelly joined.

Penny loudly giggled, “Yes, I have a new boy toy, girls!”

“Mhm, who’s it? Let me guess. The big-headed one over there,” Zenny yelled out.

“Ouch, my ears,” Nelly uttered.

“You don’t have ears!” Zenny shouted.

“Can you guys stop shouting? We can all hear you.”

That’s a new voice. I looked at my desk, thinking, “Who was that?” It’s a deep, laid-back male voice.

I spotted a cute red pen with a face on top, wearing a yellow shirt and a purple scarf. That should be the one they called the “Everest-headed pen.” It’s probably because that’s the only one with a human head on top, right?

“We heard everything you just said, Penny,” he said.

“They are cute!” Nelly giggled.

They… I realized that the one they refer to as the Everest-headed pen is queer! Let’s call them Ally then because… you know, inspired by Allan in Barbie. And yes, it’s pronounced as “El-ly.”

At this point, I started to realize that Kenny is that simple, black pen sitting by the window in the same pen holder as Ally.

Kenny jumped in, “Penny, why would you think I’d be jealous of you.”

“We clearly have something going on,” Penny uttered overdramatically.

“I told you, we’re just good friends,” Kenny continued.

“Well, you must be blind then,” Penny insisted.

Interesting! I started to eat my sandwich by the kitchen counter. It was like a short film unfolding right in front of my eyes.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to tell them something. I think this is great timing,” Kenny said.

Kenny turned to Ally while everyone, including me, held our breaths.

Kenny, with his voice trembling, finally said, “Ally, I‘ve developed feelings for you.’”

Everyone, including Ally, is left in shock. I choked on my sandwich and had to drink some water. The pens seemed to not notice me.

Ally murmured, “I mean, I thought there was something, but I didn’t think you would…”

“Shh, you don’t have to say anything. We can just see where this goes if you feel the same way,” Kenny said romantically.

The pens exchanged bewildered glances as Kenny and Ally shared giggles. Zenny loudly let out some euphoric cheers.

My heart skipped a beat as I stood by the kitchen counter. I didn’t think something this beautiful would come out of this conversation between my pens.

Kenny asked Ally, “Will you go out with me?”

“Well, we can’t really go anywhere, we are stuck in this pen holder,” Ally replied.

“Well, yeah, you can’t go out go out,” Penny continued.

Nelly and Zenny shushed Penny and looked at Ally enthusiastically.

“Okay, yes, sure,” Ally whispered in excitement.

A tear streamed down my face, and with one quiver of my hand, the sandwich dropped on the floor. The pens seemed to gasp in shock, finally noticing my presence.

They lowered their voices.

Ally asked, “How long has she been there?”

Kenny continued, “She looks sad.”

“She didn’t write today. She gets sad when she doesn’t write,” Nelly uttered.

“She always writes on that stupid little box thing anyways,” Penny replied.

Zenny asked, “You mean the computer box?”

“Sure,” Penny said.

“Okay, shh,” Kenny shushed everyone, and that was it.

So… yeah… Dear diary… Obviously, I’m losing my mind, right? Or I totally made this up in my mind as usual…

This is a response to Liberty Forrest, Author’s prompt… Well, more like Witchy’s prompt.

You never met Witchy? Let me introduce you.

More fiction from me:

Thank you for reading! ❤