avatarDani Mini

Summary

The website is seeking a PhD in Mathematics specialized in "Medium Math" to analyze algorithms for optimizing content on Medium, targeting writers who lack algorithmic understanding.

Abstract

The undefined website has posted a job opening for a doctoral-level mathematician with expertise in a niche field termed "Medium Math." This specialist is expected to perform detailed daily analyses of Medium's algorithm to guide Clueless Medium Writers (CMWs)—a group that constitutes approximately 73.86% of all Medium writers—on how to enhance their content's visibility and engagement. The role involves determining optimal content characteristics such as read length, image attributes, publishing frequency, and the emotional tone of articles to maximize readership and earnings. The ideal candidate will possess a strong academic background, including a PhD from an Ivy League institution, recent relevant publications, and substantial experience in the field. The position reports to the President of the CMW Association and offers employment contingent on the candidate's ability to improve earnings for CMWs, with salary adjustments after a 6-month trial period based on performance.

Opinions

  • The job posting suggests a humorous take on the complexity of Medium's algorithm and the challenges writers face in understanding it.
  • The requirement for a PhD from an Ivy League school indicates a preference for candidates with prestigious educational backgrounds.
  • The detailed list of responsibilities, such as pinpointing the best times to publish and the most effective tags, reflects the importance of data-driven strategies in content optimization.
  • The emphasis on presenting results using second-grade level mathematical knowledge suggests a need for simplification of complex data for the target audience of CMWs.
  • The mention of "Medium Math" as a growing sub-field implies recognition of a unique discipline within mathematics specifically related to platform algorithms.
  • The contingent nature of employment on tangible results underscores the company's focus on outcomes and the practical application of academic expertise.
  • The requirement to work hours within the time zone of every English-speaking country hints at the global nature of the Medium platform and the need for the candidate to be highly accessible.

Anyone Know a PhD in Medium Math?

We’re hiring a doctoral level candidate to help us track The Algorithm

Image by Author, created on Canva

Who we are

Writers, specifically Clueless Medium Writers (CMWs) with no notion about how an algorithm works or what it even is. If my math is correct, that’s roughly 73.86% of Medium writers.

Key responsibilities

In depth and precise algorithm analysis, on a daily basis, to inform CMWs how to optimize their output. This includes, but is not limited to, the following tasks:

  • Determine the exact read length that gets the most views on Mondays.
  • Calculate the image source and size that beget the most reads on Saturdays.
  • Upgrade figures regarding the number of times per day, week and month a writer should publish to gain the most followers. Specifically for writers of Fiction and Poetry.
  • Establish whether inspirational, controversial, funny or instructional maximize earnings for the third Tuesday of September.
  • Collaborate with each CMW to pinpoint which tags or tag pairings will yield the most fans and claps.
  • Figure out what makes a headline that will stop readers and skimmers on their tracks.

Requirements

  • Ability to present results using second-grade level mathematical knowledge and terminology.
  • PhD in Mathematics from an Ivy League doctoral program, with a focus on the growing sub-field of Medium Math.
  • Published research, within the past two years and three months, in a peer-reviewed math journal specializing in Medium Math.
  • 3.5+ years of experience, preferably within one of the countless companies where 5.8% of freelancers make at least $100 dollars monthly.
  • Ability to solve problems without being creative.
  • Ability to work hours within the time zone of every English speaking country.

Seniority Level

Reports to the President of the CMW Association.

Industry

The (mostly) English language blogosphere industry.

Employment time

Contingent on results. Following a 6-month trial period, salary will be adjusted according to improved earnings for CMWs, as determined by our ever-adjusting compensation algorithm.

Be the first to apply!

More Medium satire:

Satire
Medium Writers
Humor
Mathematics
Algorithms
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