Another Lifetime Ago

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Abstract

unto so desperately, as if they were the breath of life. Because I died long ago, when I got to close, to your uncertain love. But did you know, I ended up alone, just like him? Now I count days of lampshade remembrances and empty cupboards to never fill, the grave I dug, to never still a broken heart, inside a coffee mug, the edges stained like us. Because now it’s too deep to dig any further and too muddy to climb back to the light. This ring finger itches, and will always feel far too light. I sacrificed it all For a lost dream because I didn’t know self-love and boundaries. But now I reap, the prison I've sown. And now, All I want is to sleep until the next recursive universe comes around. Maybe I’ll do it all again a blind eye see’s the shape of love and lust, or maybe the next iteration I’ll find my Daisy without pain and loss. But for now, I must burn these words memories just my lore as I let the past flutter to dust and nothing more.© <a href="undefined">Bradley J Nordell</a> 2020</p

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Author’s Note: Parts of this poem were written over nine years ago. I have revised it and let it go. These words are no longer mine. I realize now my mistakes were just painful opportunities to help me grow, seek therapy, and love myself. It’s been a difficult road, but worth it all in the end.If you enjoyed this poem, you might also like to read:<div id="f4d3" class="link-block">

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A poem about youth, mistakes, and self-growth.

Its been years and I wonder, did you ever think about your husband, when we made love? And when I finally gave up hope after the third broken promise and second kid, you left him, shattering that thin fantasy we so carefully weaved. Begging me, teary-eyed and broken of soul, that I was your Gatsby, a soulmate etched, upon the Stonehenge of time. But what damage did you leave behind? what wreckage was I left to pick up with opiate nights and hemlock shame. And now I see you, married again But no longer do I get your letters, ink smeared with empty promises, that I held unto so desperately, as if they were the breath of life. Because I died long ago, when I got to close, to your uncertain love. But did you know, I ended up alone, just like him? Now I count days of lampshade remembrances and empty cupboards to never fill, the grave I dug, to never still a broken heart, inside a coffee mug, the edges stained like us. Because now it’s too deep to dig any further and too muddy to climb back to the light. This ring finger itches, and will always feel far too light. I sacrificed it all For a lost dream because I didn’t know self-love and boundaries. But now I reap, the prison I've sown. And now, All I want is to sleep until the next recursive universe comes around. Maybe I’ll do it all again a blind eye see’s the shape of love and lust, or maybe the next iteration I’ll find my Daisy without pain and loss. But for now, I must burn these words memories just my lore as I let the past flutter to dust and nothing more.

Author’s Note: Parts of this poem were written over nine years ago. I have revised it and let it go. These words are no longer mine. I realize now my mistakes were just painful opportunities to help me grow, seek therapy, and love myself. It’s been a difficult road, but worth it all in the end.

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