Anatomy of a Spiritual Awakening — The Nexus of Science and Spirituality

Spirituality is Science We Don’t Fully Understand Yet

As a social scientist, skeptic (yes, really), technologist, and truth seeker, my spiritual journey has taken literally decades to unravel, but here I share it with you.

I was born in 1969 to a young, mostly apathetic mother who sent me to Christian and Catholic schools as a child as a way to deal with some, um, behavioral problems I was having in public schools.

This worked for me. As a child I was strangely interested in religious and spiritual topics. Argued with the Catechism teachers. Thought the Rapture might come any minute. Wanted so much to reach out to whatever else there might be. Memorized many, many bible verses. I’d also seen some strange things, like light-filled beings who showed up in the bedroom one night. My mom said they were guardian angels. Oh, okay, Mom.

But then the Rapture didn’t come, Jesus never talked to me (despite me talking to him), and I just sort of gave up ever knowing. Read a book suggesting Jesus Christ might have been a cosmonaut. Started to realize that there might be more to the story, but I had no idea how to find the truth. Was a bit of a science nerd and coddled my logical, rational, evidence-based worldview. I was also disappointed by the dogma I encountered in my truth-seeking endeavors. It didn’t seem like anyone really knew, so why bother?

Somewhat coincidentally, I started going to Christian services again in basic training in my late teens (in the U.S. Army) as a way of getting out of details (mowing lawns, slicing infinite onions, etc.). I am a curious person so that worked for me. My drill sergeant was thrilled to pieces when I agreed to be baptized and replaced my ‘no religious preference’ dog tags with ‘Christian’ ones.

Later, as an undergrad in anthropology at UC Berkeley, I studied many philosophies of religion, cosmological mythology in many cultures, read lots of things about mysticism, even read the Book of Mormon, tomes like the Tao of Physics, learned about shamanism, and tried my hand at Wicca/Paganism. Had some psychedelic experiences. Learned tarot. Did yoga and meditated. Devoured anything metaphysical. Spouted koans. I felt like I could feel truth, but not always see it. Nothing really gave me the insight I really wanted (what does it all mean?!), but I was still intrigued. I was on the path, whether I knew it or not.

Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment. ~ John O’Donohue

Later I was hanging out with lots of science/engineer types and lots of transhumanists, all of whom really embraced the atheist meme. One guy suggested I have my head frozen because he said it would be really sad for me to die. So I had a period where I also explored atheism. Read Richard Dawkins et al. Learned that maybe all spiritual experiences (including near death experiences) are physiological in nature. Dove deep into science. Was almost convinced that all spiritual experience is fundamentally delusional. Got depressed. Figured I would never know the answers, except maybe after my death, which I figured might be like going to Oz or on some amazing psychedelic trip. Or maybe I would simply cease to exist. I was in limbo between two worlds of thought that seemed determined to never merge into a whole I could understand.

Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt. ― Richard Feynman

I needed to find some meaning. Every day I was waking up and my first thought was ‘what the hell is this all about?!’ Followed by damn, couldn’t I just stay in my dreamworlds? I spent a while not being much of a fan of the world. Then my innate glass-is-half-full self rebelled, and decided that I would believe what I want to believe. I was starting to see patterns in all of my various forays into science, metaphysics, spirituality, quantum physics, cosmology, etc. I realized that my intuition, coupled with my rational mind, was a gift even though many wanted to call BS on my intuitive knowing.

It took quite a while, but I realized that spirituality is essentially science that is not yet well understood. I realized that our history is much more complex than most of us know. I knew, deeply, that there is so much about the cosmos that is to us, unseeable and unknowable by our current abilities to perceive them. I began to strive to balance the two perspectives — I wanted them to agree with one another. I wanted spirituality to be proven by scientific means and I wanted science to consider the possibility that we can’t fully observe or measure some phenomena.

Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light‐years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. So are our emotions in the presence of great art or music or literature, or acts of exemplary selfless courage such as those of Mohandas Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr. The notion that science and spirituality are somehow mutually exclusive does a disservice to both. ― Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

I came to believe that our universe, indeed cosmos, is designed and architected, I assumed by one or more vast intelligences. Do I believe in evolution? Hell yes, I do. Do I think God is involved in each and every decision? No, but I do think that the system we call our current existence is created, and I do think we have the ability to manifest the realities we want. In fact, quantum mechanics supports this idea: our reality is a set of possibilities or potentialities until they become real via our observation. Schrodinger’s cat says so.

How I Embraced Science But Rejected Atheism

It took me a while to get there, but I then realized what Einstein himself said best:

The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. — Albert Einstein

Based on all I have learned over several decades (triangulating via many systems of thought and experimentation), it makes sense to me that our universe was architected. I don’t believe that elegant order emerges spontaneously. I do believe our reality is probably a simulation, and guided by simple rules (Fibonacci sequence, evolution, quantum weirdness, etc.). I think those rules were designed. I have learned a lot about the bleeding edge of scientific theory, like the fact that we live in a multiverse with many parallel universes. I also know that the precise set of variables necessary for life in our universe are extremely improbable. There is a universal constant, there are laws of gravity — they are all very precise, because if they were otherwise, life as we know it (which I think is just one possibility) could not exist. There are also constructs like the Fibonacci sequence that boggle the mind with the elegant simplicity of design constructs that power our world.

There are many spiritual clues from a number of spiritual, mystical, and religious traditions that suggest a supreme entity of some sort. I think there is probably more than one. There are many scientists who say that the more they learn the more it starts to look like a designed cosmos (not intelligent design, that’s different).

It made me sad to think that the Universe is a big robot programmed to kill and that I exist only to propagate DNA. Or some other reason that lacks the meaning I require. It is popular to assert that there is no god, despite our inability to perceive beyond the limits of our existing consciousness. We can’t prove that God exists, because God is a not a phenomenon that can be observed, repeated, predicted, and measured. Which is what the scientific method requires.

I have come to accept that there are many things about the cosmos I can’t begin to understand with my limited 3D/4D consciousness. What I observe is not our creators themselves, but the artifacts of creation, which I know exist. I can’t control these creators, so I can’t design experiments to prove their existence. I am still a skeptic about many things, but I find it impossible to think that we are a mere chemical accident forged in the primordial soup of one, and only one, distant world. I find the prevailing scientific stance to be limited in this respect, as we struggle to consider possibilities that might exist beyond our five senses.

I don’t argue things being spiritual vs scientific, because I’ve never met anyone who knows enough about either to be convincing — including myself. ― S. Kelley Harrell

My current worldview

I now know that religion is following the messengers and spirituality is following the messages. I consider myself an agnostic with Buddhist and New Age/New Thought leanings. I have spent literally decades at this point illuminating for myself the intersection of science and spirituality. I feel like I understand some hints of universal truth, but feel like it’s still too big for me to fully grasp with puny 3D/4D consciousness. Mainly I focus on the messages, not the messengers. I basically think God is all of the very best things about humanity, like love, altruism, friendship, and solidarity. I think of both God and the Christ as vast consciousnesses that my individual consciousness connects to, and I aspire to one day be one with them again.

The degree to which your Consciousness expands, is the degree to which you understand yourself and the Universe. ~ Gina Charles

I think of our reality as an enormous virtual world and the ‘gods’ are the designers and programmers. Many have speculated that we live in a simulated, holographic reality. I think we are all holographic projectors co-creating a collective reality, indeed a consciousness. The Matrix films are favorites of mine, because I do think of myself as jacked into this reality. My consciousness transcends this reality, in fact, and my body is just a vehicle to have this particular experience.

I believe that benevolent extraterrestrials are spiritual beings hailing from other dimensional realities. I know this because I speak to spirit guides (I have for nearly a decade now) who help clarify my understanding. Who are they? My soul family, in short, those who are waiting for me to return to their higher-dimensional reality after my adventure in this incarnation.

I believe in the Golden Rule , also referred to as the law of reciprocity or do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Its precepts have made it into many spiritual and religious traditions. I know that our creators want nothing more than for our reality to burst forth as the beautiful garden it could be, with each individual consciousness blooming. But we do also need to choke out the weeds of chaos, discord and entropy.

Space is not the final frontier, consciousness is. Subjective experience is valid and frequently universal. And going in is how we discover truth. Awareness and mindfulness are the tools. Inner reality is what is eternal and persistent, outer reality is ephemeral and illusory. It’s not always apparent to our intellects, but our hearts know the way. Our hearts, in fact, are our connection to the divine in all of us. The god spark, if you will. I think of God as a vast ocean and we, in human incarnation, are little vials (our bodies) each with a drop of water, bobbing on the surface. As water ourselves, we are also God, but separated for now by the experience of being embodied in this reality. What I know without a doubt is that we are all connected, indeed entangled in the quantum sense, as everything in the cosmos is. And I know that our creators love their creations and want us to evolve and grow. For our individual evolution, in an inter-connected cosmos, leads to all of us, including our creators, to be greater and more magnificent than the sum of our parts.

About Lisa Galarneau, Ph.D: I am a socio-cultural anthropologist, futurist, lightworker, US Army veteran, and mother. I am also the founder of the Planetary Liberation Force — A Revolution of Mind and Heart.

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