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Abstract

It’s for cutting people off because you’re more important! Your time is more valuable. You may be unemployed and the biggest schlub ever, but to you, you’re Trumpian! (Do I need to tell you what I think <i>that</i> is?)</p><p id="a2e4">Full disclosure: I’ve used the right turn lane to pull in front of drivers, myself. But only if they’re going over ten miles below the limit because that, too, can lead to calamity. And I <i>don’t</i> ride their ass. But, for you drivers who just want to put the pedal to the metal, it’s a game for you folks, isn’t it? I love watching you via my righthand mirror as you creep up to a red light with your fat foot poised to slam on the gas and pull in front of me.</p><p id="b4fc">I lied. I don’t love it. In fact, I hate and detest it. And for some odd reason, there’s never a squad around to see you crank the old beater up to eighty-five or ninety so you can fly off to whatever rock you crawled out from under.</p><p id="d601">Yeah, I know. I have issues. Most of them with people who are so ignorant as to be literally, wastes of space. I’ll bet you refuse to wear masks, too, don’t you? Because that would indicate that you give a damn about other people when it’s clear that you don’t. And you probably call Covid a “Scamdemic,” right? C’mon, fess up. You know you do.</p><p id="b7bc">And I’ll just bet you think I’m a <i>fucktard</i>, huh? Well, tough. I’m the fucktard who’s telling you where to get off.</p><p id="247e">No doubt, there is a slew of people in this community who will get where I’m coming from. Who understands that a false sense of <i>entitlement</i>, has spread like the virus.</p><p id="0603">That’s you. Entitled. Or, you think you are. Why not try being a human being, for once? Is that beyond you?</p><p id="adf0">I’m sure that if I was to post this type of rant on “The Nazis Nextdoor,” aka, <i>nextdoor.com</i>, I’d get a ton of hate in return. But I can’t because the Stormtroopers in charge suspended my account, for not taking shit.</p><p id="d470">That happens to a lot of writers who, like me, shoot from the hip. What are you gonna do?</p><p id="7f46">Morons, I just want you to know that I zeroed in on my hometown because well, that’s where I drive, but as I indicated, I’m certain you are everywhere, in cities and towns across the U.S. aggravating the hell out of “less entitled” folks.</p><p id="0c75">Finally, I’m going to say that I’ve witnessed several accidents on Golf Road or IL 58. And probably, most of them were perpetrated by drivers like you, so please, take a breath. Think before you commit another moronic act behind the wheel of your car because you could really make a mess of someone’s life, or your own. Know what I mean?</p><p id="aae6">Short of that, just drive off into the sunset and don’t come back, okay?</p><p id="01bc"><i>© Sherry McGuinn, 2021. All Rights Reserved.</i></p><p id="8dff"><i>Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and ins

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pired by a true story.</i></p><figure id="b778"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*1d8_bdhgijVt6jD5"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="8bb7">Thanks for reading, guys. If you enjoyed this, I’d love for you to check out the following, as well as my newsletter, <a href="https://sherryraw.substack.com/">Sherry Raw.</a></p><div id="cbf0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sex-death-and-rock-n-roll-48b3585bd75a"> <div> <div> <h2>Sex, Death and Rock ‘n Roll</h2> <div><h3>Lately, you are always on my mind</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*i5gusyPxru6ByiUoGkvBuQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="f406" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/dear-muse-3b550d203ec7"> <div> <div> <h2>Dear Muse</h2> <div><h3>Where the F are you?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*2coMwlUiHXnehQ5j5bP0ag.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9587" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/michael-cohen-blames-blown-career-on-parents-f9da3618b341"> <div> <div> <h2>Michael Cohen Blames Blown Career on Parents</h2> <div><h3>“I wanted to be a doctor!” says former Trump fixer.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*w27QEFBk_bVFlrzMH3R7NQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="4385" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/did-i-fail-my-mother-3323d4907780"> <div> <div> <h2>Did I Fail My Mother?</h2> <div><h3>All the things I should have said, and didn’t.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*IBboE8lKu9O0Q4Ga0aEGhQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d834" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/take-your-best-shot-1799ab974a37"> <div> <div> <h2>“Take Your Best Shot”</h2> <div><h3>An American Saga</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*WCdxFth03ycCxSPtm7sFXQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

RANT

An Open Letter to You Morons Behind the Wheel

I don’t know where you’re going, but straight to hell would be a good start

Dear Morons,

Let me begin by saying that I love to drive. Especially on a nice day. Windows down. Breeze ruffling my hair. WXRT-FM, Chicago’s Finest Rock Station, cranked up high.

Or rather, I used to enjoy the ride. Why? Because it appears that your kind — rude, insensitive, thick-headed, and just plain moronic — have multiplied like those “influencers” who probably dictate your every move. From the crystal deodorant stone you roll onto your pits to the Bulletproof Coffee you gulp before heading out to your Dodge Challenger SRT Demon that just screams, “I’m an asshole,” you’re a real piece of work.

You, imbeciles, are everywhere these days and I’m guessing that you must be a fertile lot, squirting out baby imbeciles that will no doubt grow up to be as full-on imbecilic as their parents.

I don’t know where the hell it is you think you’re going in such a hurry, but I hope it’s straight out of town. I’ll elaborate for you numbskulls. In the Chicago suburb where I live, Golf Road, otherwise known as IL 58, is a popular conduit for the surrounding suburbs, as well as for shopping malls, restaurants, and the like. So that said, I find myself cruising down the strip several times a week. I never thought much about it, until recently, where I find my blood pressure spiking every time some jerkoff who thinks he or she is more important than anyone else, cuts me the hell off.

Now, I have a bit of a lead foot myself. On the strip of Golf Road where you morons are the thickest, the speed limit is fifty miles per hour. Usually, I find myself nearer to the sixty-mile-per-hour range. When that happens, I realize that I AM SPEEDING and I attempt to slow things down. I say “attempt,” because that is the exact moment when you decide it’s perfectly okay to ride my ass, and not just “ride” it, but come so close as to appear you’re riding in my back seat!

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think you’re intimidating me? Unless your stupid windows are blacked out, I can see you quite well through my rearview mirror, and most of the time, you look like a short, little jerk with a tiny head, and I’m guessing that you have something else that’s tiny, so to make up for that unfortunate fact, you’re a road bully.

Well, up yours, buddy, and yours too, sister. It’s not just the guys, You women are in a rush, too, probably to get your nails done. And you don’t like it when you try to cut me off and I don’t let you in, do you? HA! Deal with it.

That brings me to another beef I have. The right turn lane, to be specific. Now, we all know that this particular lane is used for other things aside from turning right onto another street. And you know what that is. It’s for cutting people off because you’re more important! Your time is more valuable. You may be unemployed and the biggest schlub ever, but to you, you’re Trumpian! (Do I need to tell you what I think that is?)

Full disclosure: I’ve used the right turn lane to pull in front of drivers, myself. But only if they’re going over ten miles below the limit because that, too, can lead to calamity. And I don’t ride their ass. But, for you drivers who just want to put the pedal to the metal, it’s a game for you folks, isn’t it? I love watching you via my righthand mirror as you creep up to a red light with your fat foot poised to slam on the gas and pull in front of me.

I lied. I don’t love it. In fact, I hate and detest it. And for some odd reason, there’s never a squad around to see you crank the old beater up to eighty-five or ninety so you can fly off to whatever rock you crawled out from under.

Yeah, I know. I have issues. Most of them with people who are so ignorant as to be literally, wastes of space. I’ll bet you refuse to wear masks, too, don’t you? Because that would indicate that you give a damn about other people when it’s clear that you don’t. And you probably call Covid a “Scamdemic,” right? C’mon, fess up. You know you do.

And I’ll just bet you think I’m a fucktard, huh? Well, tough. I’m the fucktard who’s telling you where to get off.

No doubt, there is a slew of people in this community who will get where I’m coming from. Who understands that a false sense of entitlement, has spread like the virus.

That’s you. Entitled. Or, you think you are. Why not try being a human being, for once? Is that beyond you?

I’m sure that if I was to post this type of rant on “The Nazis Nextdoor,” aka, nextdoor.com, I’d get a ton of hate in return. But I can’t because the Stormtroopers in charge suspended my account, for not taking shit.

That happens to a lot of writers who, like me, shoot from the hip. What are you gonna do?

Morons, I just want you to know that I zeroed in on my hometown because well, that’s where I drive, but as I indicated, I’m certain you are everywhere, in cities and towns across the U.S. aggravating the hell out of “less entitled” folks.

Finally, I’m going to say that I’ve witnessed several accidents on Golf Road or IL 58. And probably, most of them were perpetrated by drivers like you, so please, take a breath. Think before you commit another moronic act behind the wheel of your car because you could really make a mess of someone’s life, or your own. Know what I mean?

Short of that, just drive off into the sunset and don’t come back, okay?

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

Thanks for reading, guys. If you enjoyed this, I’d love for you to check out the following, as well as my newsletter, Sherry Raw.