An Interview with Stephen Dalton
A tough and sweet man
I had the pleasure of meeting Stephen back in August through an amazing friend, Amy Sarah. I’ve come to know Stephen as a professional team player and the father/big brother of the M24I Facebook group. I call him DD for short, which means Daddy Dalton — he’s always looking out for everyone. Stephen is a great and supportive friend, not only to me, but many others.
He has saved me by pointing out typos just as my article was published so I could fix them right away. He had my ass! — Tracy Stengel
Stephen has influenced me with his talent of packing so much punch with so few words, and he always respects my editing eyes. I respect him and there is no doubt we always have each other’s back. — Gayle Kurtzer-Meyers
Sometimes I don’t think Stephen realizes how much he has positively impacted the people around him. I’ll be forever grateful for his friendship. — Amy Sarah
His writing is truly inspirational. He can write about anything and make it engaging. I don’t like tech or sports but I’ve read his articles on them with genuine interest simply because of the way he writes. He makes all topics accessible and interesting. He’s our fearless leader, our top writer, top guy, Top Dalton. — Melissa Speed
Up-bringing & family life
When and where were you born?
I was born in a one-car converted garage beside my mother’s father’s house in West Old Town, Maine on 29 September 1956.
Who are your parents? What lesson(s) did you learn from your parents?
I never really knew my father. He died when I was three or four. My mother was a very caring, warm, and hard-working woman. I’d like to believe I learned those values from her. When I was about seven, she remarried a controlling, narcissistic drunk who abused her and us.
When I was seventeen, he was dragging her by the hair of her head down the hallway of our house. Without even thinking, I slammed him up against a wall and punched him a couple of times. He ran into the kitchen and grabbed a chair, which he tried to hit me over the head with. He was too drunk, and I was too pumped up on adrenaline; I just kept going right into him, punched him in the face, and knocked him out.
I put my mother to bed and went to sleep myself because I had a swim meet in another city the next day. When I came home, my mother said, “Look what you did to your father!” I turned around and went back out the door without a word.
Unfortunately, I had a younger brother, who was his favorite punching bag, so after a few days, I had to go back.
Do you have brothers and/or sisters? Are you the oldest, youngest, or middle child?
I have two older sisters, Cindy and Iris, two older brothers, both deceased. My oldest brother Angus died of TB as a baby, and my brother Tony, my mentor and hero, died of lung cancer about four years ago. I miss him every day. I have one younger brother, by two years, Mark. My sisters and brother still live around Old Town, Maine. Old Town is best known for making canoes. In fact, my grandfather used to make the wood ribbed canoes.
Tell me about your childhood.
My stepfather was a worthless drunk who couldn’t keep a job. We were always moving so that he could get a job where no one knew him. He usually stayed sober or got drunk at home until he got one or two paychecks. Then, one Friday night he wouldn’t come home. He would go on a drunk and spend all the money. Typically, he’d come home Tuesday or Wednesday, and tell mom how he got laid off, and he didn’t come home because he was ashamed that they tricked him and didn’t pay him.
Did you stay in one place or move around a lot?
When I went into the Army, we had to fill out the paperwork for a background check and list all the places we had lived and the schools I attended. We moved more than 50 times and I attended 47 different schools. Eight different high schools. My senior year was the only year I completed at one school.
What is your fondest childhood memory?
My fondest memory as a child was always my sister Cindy’s house. She married two weeks after my mother remarried. We were moving to New Jersey from Maine, and she didn’t want to go. She married the most wonderful human being, besides herself, that I have ever met. You know how they say someone is “the salt of the Earth”? Walter is even better than that! He’s better than all the spices the Lord ever created. He and my sister are beautiful people and have a strong marriage.
Sounds like a man-crush, huh? What can I say? They have been married for 56 or 57 years. He’s probably never raised his hand in anger to anyone in his entire life. I seriously do not remember ever hearing him yell at anyone.
He’s better than all the spices the Lord ever created.
Where did you meet your wife?
Rosalyn and I met online in 2008. We held a long-distance relationship for a year and a half. I think I fell in love with her laugh long before we ever met.
What does your wife love about you the most? What does she dislike about you the most?
I have no idea why she loves me. I am old, stubborn, and set in my ways. If I put a pen on my desk, and I have several, I expect it to be in that same spot next time I need it. I am a bit obsessive-compulsive in that way and product loyal. I’ve used the same cologne, deodorant, and toothpaste for the last forty years.
Do you have any children?
Although I am 30 years older than her, she says she never gave it a thought until after we were together. We don’t have any children together yet, which is a bone of contention. I had a vasectomy after my son was born, and she’s a Catholic woman who wants 12 kids. She’ll probably have to settle for two if we are successful with invitro-fertilization.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was a kid, I always wanted to be President. It’s too bad; I would have been a good one. Hahaha.
Career, education & writing
What is your occupation (job)? Has it always been your occupation? What have you learned in your career?
I spent 28 years in the US Army. I had a five-year break between my first enlistment from ’74–80 and went back in ’85. I had a lot of other jobs in my life from about 8-years-old on. I started sweeping a barbershop, selling the Grit, a weekly newspaper, raking blueberries, selling insurance door-to-door, and bartending, which was always my fall back, and a job I still love. I would open a bar in a minute if I could.
Tell me a little about your education and history with writing.
I have a BA in Journalism that I received studying nights and weekends in the Army for eleven years. I always journaled as a release but never thought about using it until I retired from the Army and decided I didn’t want to ever work for anyone else again. I smashed my alarm clock and keep it as a motivator.
Did you write while you were active in the military?
I wrote a few articles and essays while in the Army, but mostly I wrote in my journal.
Were people you knew while in the military taken aback when they found out you were a writer?
One of the guys I was friends with at the VFW in Korea after I retired said, “I still don’t understand what you do.” I said, “I’m a freelance writer. I write SEO-enriched content for websites, blogs, and articles.” He said, “Why don’t you get a real job?” My response was epic! (Link below.)
What advice do you have for other writers?
I would say if you have a desire to write, don’t let anything stand in your way. I know it can be difficult when you have mouths to feed and bills to pay, but you should keep your main job until you have a few steady clients. Use those spare moments instead of parking your ass in front of the television or scrolling Facebook.
I would say if you have a desire to write, don’t let anything stand in your way.
Yeah, sure, I watch Netflix occasionally, but I do not watch TV as a rule. You don’t have to just use writing as a way to pay the rent. There are several methods to gain an income from writing. (Link below.)
Overcoming adversity
Can you tell me about the most challenging time in your life?
Every day in my mother and stepfather’s house was a toil. The Army was my salvation and my greatest triumph.
What have you gained from the experience?
I probably learned to treat people better because of that experience growing up.
Positive influences
Who has been the most significant influence in your life? Why?
That’s a tough one. There have been many strong influences in my life. My stepfather, for instance, taught me how not to act. I had a lot of influential leaders in the Army, as well. My mother and oldest sister Cindy, were always a steady hand that I knew would never steer me wrong. My mother’s only true fault was that she was too loyal to a man that wasn’t worth the dirt off her shoe.
But if I had to name one person, it would be my sister Cindy. Strong, consistent, always the voice of calm and reason, and always there for her siblings, no matter what. Even when she had three kids, a small house and her husband worked three jobs to support them, she never turned us away.
My mother and oldest sister Cindy, were always a steady hand that I knew would never steer me wrong.
She survived two cancers, had a kidney transplant, and has had to inject insulin for the last decade or so, yet she is always quick with a smile or hug, especially for her grandchildren, great-grandchildren, or great-great-grandchildren.
What or who motivates you?
My children and Rosalyn are a big motivation for me. Rosalyn is the sweetest woman I have ever had the pleasure of dating. We’ve been together for ten years, and I know I will love her for the rest of my life.
What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
Rosalyn
Some more Stephen
If you had to pick three words to describe yourself, what would they bee?
Loyal, consistent, and selfless.
What do you like to do in your free time? What are your hobbies and interests?
Writing is my hobby, my primary interest, and a means of income. To write effectively, you have to read consistently, so I read a lot. Rosalyn and I used to have dinner and a movie at least once a week. Now, the movies are closed, so we order delivery and watch Netflix.
To write effectively, you have to read consistently, so I read a lot.
Is there anything you would like to do or accomplish in your life that you haven’t done yet?
Number one is publish a book. Even though I have seen 20 countries, there’s still about 180 more to see, and twelve US states I haven’t been to yet, so we’ll see. I want to publish a couple of books, including my memoirs.
Where do you see yourself 1, 5, and 10 years from now?
In one year, I want to have one published book on my shelf. Self-published or through an agent doesn’t matter.
In five years, I would like to be doing a book tour. I want to go from bookstore to bookstore signing my NYT bestseller.
In ten years, my writing will be confined to my journal as Rosalyn, the kids, and I tour the world on our self-contained yacht.
Rosalyn is still in college, so after she finishes, we will probably travel more, if possible. Build our house and have some babies with a whole lot of luck.
What are you most proud of?
Besides my children, who I am immensely proud of, rising to the rank of First Sergeant in the Army is my proudest accomplishment. Many people really don’t understand the Army rank structure. My stepfather said when I got promoted to First Sergeant, “I can’t believe after all these years, you’re just a First Sergeant. Shouldn’t you be a Lieutenant or Captain by now?” I laughed and said, “A 2nd lieutenant has never been promoted, they get handed a commission after completing school, and a captain has only been promoted twice. I have been promoted seven times.”
Stephen’s Favorite Quotes
What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can also achieve. — Napoleon Hill
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. — Maya Angelou
If you don’t challenge yourself, you will never realize what you can become. — Anonymous
Some of Stephen’s stories
Stephen writes a tanka poem dedicated to his loving sister, Cindy:
Journey with Stephen in this beautiful poem about home:
Great ideas on how to make money online without Startup Money:
One of Stephen’s friends asked him, “Why don’t you get a real job?” His response:
What do you want people to remember after reading your interview?
That I am committed to being the best I can be, and to helping others when I can.
Catch more of Stephen here:
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Gratitude
Thank you Stephen for allowing me to interview you and for being an incredible mentor, and friend to us.
