An Anti-Social Person’s Idea Of A Beautiful World
We see a different world through our perceptions and perspectives.
Right or wrong is often irrelevant. We just want to be comfortable living under our own skin. That is really it.
I cannot speak on behalf of my peers. For me, I live in my head. I enjoy thinking about things and trying to figure them out. I appreciate conversations less unless it advances my understanding of the world.
That is why social gatherings of different nature and the lack-of-agenda frustrates me internally. And it is futile to seek meaning in meaningless events.
Take, for instance, Chinese New Year celebrations.
Before I proceed, I want to clarify that I am not anti-Chinese New Year. I am also not anti-establishment. As an anti-social person, honestly, I do not bother myself with perpetually widely accepted social norms.
That said, we are incredibly nice people. We do not force people to believe in what we believe or disbelieve. You are free to do and think as you please, so long as you leave us alone.
Let me get back to my case in point. I respect the history of Chinese New Year. Every event has its history and reason of birth.
Different peoples prosper in conditions that are unique to them. Our ancestors do their best to survive in their respective harsh environments.
Their immediate environments explain why Aborigines throw a boomerang, Mongolian are nomads and ancient Chinese farms.
And agricultural success relies heavily on natural elements. Farmers have to plant the seeds of crops in Spring when the soil has become soft post-winter. Summer is where the process of germination takes over. Autumn is the season of harvest. Winter is when the soil-bed gets to recover for the next annual cycle.
The ancient civilization beats in tandem with the seasons. Therefore, the arrival of Spring signifies the coming of another year of harvest through back-breaking farming. Thus, farmers rejoice and rest for 15 days before the farming year begins.
When urbanization turned mainstream, many young folks from the farms mass-migrated to the cities to seek better opportunities. They work for a year and return to their families once a year. That is the Chinese New Year.
In both conditions, Chinese New Year is indeed a celebration of a family reunion. Our ancient and more-recent forebears reunite with their family members once in 365 days. It is a heart-warming annual event.
That is the history of it. I love to understand World History and how things come to being today.
I appreciate how human society evolved. That does not mean I wish to participate.
First off, as an anti-social, I feel uncomfortable being in high population density areas. Now, I do not refer to Melbourne, New York, or Hong Kong. I mean having to squeeze with twenty-odd relatives in a small parcel of real estate.
It is akin to a group of protons and neutrons jammed into an atomic core. I never felt that sense of belonging. It is the ultimate source of annual annoyance. Everyone has questions, and no one has the patience to listen to my responses.
Aunt: How have you been? Have you finally gotten a job?
Me: Oh, I am busy with my business ventures and ……
Aunt: PONG!!! I won! Pay me! (She picked the winning tile for Mahjong). Hahahaha! Oh, such a poor thing, young man. I cannot imagine being unemployed for the past 15 years!
(OH YEAH? What an arsehole, Old Lady. Who taught you to talk like this?!)
Me: Yup.
Uncle: I still cannot imagine that you got conscripted into the elite unit twenty years ago. Can you still recall how fat you were?
(What a bloody arsehole)
Me: I ……
Uncle: Son, when you are two years older, I will personally train you to make sure that you will excel in physical fitness and get into the elite unit to perform better than this cousin standing here.
(Oh yeah? Do you mean that lump of fat that you conceived? Give me a f**king break. I will challenge your entire clan today, now, now, now! Who the heck do you think you are?!)
Me: Here, young boy, have an ice-cream. Your Dad is known to be a VERY, VERY, VERY tough guy. You might not survive under him.
Young Cousin: Really? Oh no! What should I do, cousin?
Me: Eat more ice-cream. Get fatter, and become fat-beyond-words. Your Dad will give up hope on you.
Young Cousin: You are so smart!
(Yup. And you are darn stupid. Your clan’s end-day is coming soon)
I do not offend. If you step on my tail, you are an enemy even if you are family.
And the entire house has a noise level that is thousands of decibels higher than an underground gambling den. Mahjong tiles colliding against each other forced everyone to speak louder. Forget about speaking. Everyone is shouting.
I hate when people shout at me, regardless of who. My immediate response is of high personal disdain. What a brute race through my mind multiple times throughout that torturous stay. Take your own plates and pepper, arsehole.
I prefer to retreat to a corner for some sanity, peace, and quiet. I am not afraid of offending you by saying this. There is much more life-value in reading a book than connecting with my relatives. People do not get an iota of my attention when there is no depth in the conversation.
I retreat to my personal space. Do not enter, I warn you, airheads.
And no, they barge in. My mum is good at this. She would barge into the room I am in and scream at me (otherwise, I cannot hear her) for inauspicious behavior. That is because the pronunciation of “book” is the same as “lose” in Chinese.
She does not want to “lose” her chance of striking the top prize in the lottery.
I have nothing good to say about this, so I said nothing. I slammed my book close, packed it into my bag, and left that emotionally disastrous place. It was my last straw.
Moments later, when I am on my way to the train station, I received a text from my mum. It reads the following: -
“I am waiting for your apology on your ill-manners just now. How dare you walk out on your mum.”
Yes, I dare to because I want to. I do not belong there. I needed meaning and peace of mind. I needed to be at a place of my own. I needed to express myself the way I want to, not the way I have to.
I looked at that message and gave a cold laugh. I deleted it immediately.
My ordeal is finally over for good. And I am planning not to visit next year since nothing makes sense to me.
I took a bus to the beach and walked to the nearest bench. I plugged into my playlist and started reading. A brilliant world opened up to me, one where I get to connect with the best minds the universe has to offer.
Be it finance, digital marketing, meaningful retirement, or Chinese history — Learning from the great minds beats frivolous conversations at home.
I am an anti-social person who seeks meaning, not social companionship. I am not stopping you from doing so. That said, please do not stop me from doing what I want to, or nudge me to do what you want to.
If I do not believe in it, I will walk away.
If you try to contact me after I walk away, you have my word for one thing.
I will not badmouth you because I cannot be bothered to reply. I am busy seeking my version of a beautiful world.
Wishing All Readers A Peaceful Chinese New Year.
Aldric
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