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Abstract

quickly became clear that establishing a<b><i> Free Day</i></b> really does celebrate all that is great about America.</p><p id="1b3b">Therefore, starting this year, May 20th will be Amazon Free Air Day. Every Prime Customer will be automatically shipped at no charge, one free AmazonAir cartridge, ready for insertion into the AmazonAir inhaler.</p><figure id="d1b6"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*A0VS2HY7mbxvvtAz0Y9Uxg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@nci?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">National Cancer Institute</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/oxygen-breathing-tubes?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="1aa8">In addition, by special arrangement with the Trump Senate Committee, all taxes levied on AmazonAirline Traffic Control Towers owned and operated by AmazonAirlines and AmazonDroneForce will be waived for Free Air Day, and those savings will be passed on to our loyal customers.”</p><p id="17da">No other spokespersons were available for comment at the time of the announcement.</p><div id="764e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com

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SATIRE

Amazon Announces Free Air Day

In Keeping with American Corporate Tradition

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

May 20, 2030:Poughkeepsie, NY (MAP) —King and High Priest Bezos, of The Trump States of America, authorized a designated special team to announce today, that in keeping with tradition, May 20th will from this day forward be known as Free Air Day.

“I decided that during the days of Ben & Jerry’s and Baskin Robbins’ Free Ice Cream Days, followed quickly by Dunkin’ Donuts Free Donut Days, customers grew to learn that these businesses truly cared.

After the Starbucks Free Frapp Days, the Nestle Free H2O Days, Tesla Free Car Charge Days, Pampers Free Baby Diaper Days, and Annie’s Free Mac N Cheese Box Days — it quickly became clear that establishing a Free Day really does celebrate all that is great about America.

Therefore, starting this year, May 20th will be Amazon Free Air Day. Every Prime Customer will be automatically shipped at no charge, one free AmazonAir cartridge, ready for insertion into the AmazonAir inhaler.

In addition, by special arrangement with the Trump Senate Committee, all taxes levied on AmazonAirline Traffic Control Towers owned and operated by AmazonAirlines and AmazonDroneForce will be waived for Free Air Day, and those savings will be passed on to our loyal customers.”

No other spokespersons were available for comment at the time of the announcement.