All’s Well in Being Imperfect

Highlighting a story of how a mirror can show us we are all imperfectly perfect.

I wanted to highlight a relatable story that reminded me to smile when I look in the mirror — and to stop moving that mirror!

One Minute Story on Ani Vals’s Journey through Perfectionism

The story entitled The Day I Stopped Being a Pefectionist in which Ani came to realize when she started to become a perfectionist, and how one letter grade taught her to let go of the idea of being a perfectionist.

She detailed how her perfectionism began early in childhood with drawings and the anger she would feel in relation to being perfect, and the elation she would feel as she transitioned to reaching the top of her class when being perfect helped her stand out in her university days.

Until that one mark, a B+, in her favorite subject, English, brought things crashing down.

Or did it?

It reminded my of a quote in my favorite book, Pride and Prejudice, by my favorite author — Jane Austen.

Misfortunes, we are told, are sent to test our fortitude, and often reveal themselves as blessings in disguise.

Mary Bennet, Pride and Prejudice (1995)

That B+ taught Ani to let go of the idea of being perfect and it’s not really about how others see her, but how she sees herself.

What A Mirror Meant to Me

And so it brings me to my story of perfectionism — and how a mirror made me the difference for me.

My perfectionism came in the form of how I saw myself in the mirror.

I am my parents’ only daughter, so I had my own room growing up — and it had to be perfect.

I would rearrange the furniture in my room almost every week, one day deciding it was perfect, and the next week I wanted it to be more perfect.

My room centered not around my bed, but my dresser that had a huge mirror attached to it.

I would stare into this mirror for hours and get lost in thinking of how I could make myself more perfect in how I and things around me looked.

I carried this with me into adulthood, never thinking I was good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough whenever I looked in the mirror.

My Mirror Taught Me to See My Eyes

Then, in my early years of teaching, one sixth grade student taught me a lesson through his misfortune.

This young man found himself in trouble with his teacher, that would be me, for causing problems in the classroom.

So at break time, I thought I was making progress when I was speaking to him about his bad behavior and he just stayed silent and looked at me.

Then, while I was speaking, he just blurted out, “you have beautiful eyes”.

The only thing I said back was, “stop”.

He said it was a mere observation on his part, and I shouldn’t be offended.

But in my head I was shocked. I had never seen these eyes before.

From then on, I learned to stop moving my mirror long enough to see that I am an imperfect person who should recognize that it’s not because of how perfect things or I need to be, but how I reflect to others I care through my eyes.

And, that’s all that really matters.

If you enjoyed this article, please consider reading my other articles of personal growth on medium.