MUSINGS
Alcohol Is The Devil Hiding In Plain Sight
And it takes complete abstinence to be able to see it.
I’m at the point now where I think people who have had a problem with alcohol to the point they have had to give it up completely are the lucky ones.
We are the ones who have escaped.
It's the people who drink regularly and don’t think they have a problem who are the unlucky ones.
In 10 months of sobriety, not only have I witnessed almost every aspect of my life improve, but I’ve also become more and more astounded how alcohol has such a stronghold on society.
The poison is so embedded, so normalised that the mainstay of society views people who choose to not drink as a bit weird.
One of my friends after reading my 6-months of sobriety blog commented ‘I like how you have focused on what you have gained and not what you have lost’
What have I lost? I must ask her sometime what she thinks I have lost.
Well actually, I know what I have lost.
I’ve lost hangovers I’ve lost shame I’ve lost weight I’ve lost hangxiety
and most importantly,
I’ve lost regularly poisoning myself.
Seriously, what exactly does alcohol bring to the party?
I’ve been around people who are drinking quite a lot now, and it’s so strange to watch as they slowly imbibe themselves. First, it’s the slurring, then repeating themselves, then losing coordination, knocking over drinks and falling over.
I observe them and I’m thinking what a bizarre thing to do to yourself. I’m thinking I’m clearly having a better time than them. I’m more relaxed, more coherent, I can drive home, and I will feel great tomorrow.
Yet I too did this to myself for decades. In fact for some of the time, I was in the drink, hangover, recover and repeat cycle, and honestly at the time, I did not think it was really a big deal.
Clearly, it was.
It was a shocking way to live. No quality of life whatsoever.
So what kept me there for so long?
I’ve concluded that the real evil of alcohol is that it puts a part of you to sleep.
Like a hypnotic demon.
I believe it switches off the part of your brain that can objectively look at what it is doing to you. Like a very clever parasite, it slowly takes you over whilst ingeniously cloaking your critical thinking skills, so you are not able to make a conscious decision to stop harming yourself like this.
And during this time, it also keeps you asleep from real life.
When I was drinking I was oblivious to how joyous a sober life can be, how much can be achieved, and how the diversity of life explodes once you exclude alcohol.
I was also completely in the dark of how peaceful and serene my life would become once I banished the booze.
Because it doesn’t want you to know.
Its evil genius convinces you it is enhancing your life, while simultaneously destroying it.
If any other thing in your life was so damaging, you would just stop it without a second thought. But not alcohol, because you just cannot see it until you abstain completely. Until you have fully exorcised that devil.
When I was drinking, pretty much every single event I went to involved alcohol. My friends and I didn’t even discuss it. It was just assumed that we would drink. We were all so comprehensively captured by it and not one of us was awake enough to question it.
I look back now and think I must have under some sort of spell where alcohol was concerned. Because I was.
Still now when I tell someone for the first time I no longer drink, I can see a veil of confusion pass across their face. I can see them thinking ‘Why would you want to do that to yourself?’. I remember that confusion.
Whereas I’m thinking if only I could transport you to where I am now, not only would you see quite clearly why I don’t drink, you would probably never drink again yourself.
One of the reasons people drink is that it allows you to hide from your feelings. While it may seem a good thing at the time, it is keeping those feelings buried in your subconscious, not allowing them to be processed and released which can contribute to negative mental health.
One of the great aspects of sobriety (though can feel awful at the time) is that you no longer have anywhere to hide from your feelings (unless you bury your head in cake or Netflix).
This means that you have to feel your feelings often for the first time in decades. And it can be painful. Or, it can seem ridiculous when you are enlightened to the fact that the source of the anxiety you are feeling is something that happened 20 years ago.
How on earth can it still be affecting you?
Because you didn’t deal with it at the time, it’s been hanging around in your subconscious all of this time, waiting for you to have the clarity that sobriety brings to address it.
This is one of the reasons sobriety is so great for your mental health. Apart from no hangovers, you get to process all the old feelings that have been haunting you. And this means you can set them free.
The alcohol devil does not want you to do this. It wants you to keep drinking to push the feelings back down again.
It wants to keep its place high on the altar as the elixir that solves your problems.
Don’t do it. Wake up and set yourself free.
Sobriety is a treasure trove of delights, but you must completely abstain to receive them. You must banish alcohol to wake up and claim your life back.
If you are a regular drinker who is considering going sober, I can assure you your life is about to drastically improve. There is a thriving sober community out there who can support and guide you through, But you do need a plan to get through the rocky early days.
I’ve written a blog with all the best tips that got me through the first 6 months to help you too. And don’t forget to reach out if you need help.
If you wish to subscribe to Medium and read more of my blogs, follow this link https://helenaanne.medium.com/membership
