At Six Months Sober, I Can See What All The Hype Is About

Don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself.

This time six months ago, there was a juxtaposition in my life.

There were the sober people who swore blind that the sober life was amazing, brilliant, bright, and dazzling.

And then there was the wine crew, whom I was most definitely a fully paid-up member. In fact, I had spent a large amount of my money and time devoting myself to Team Wine.

Wine you see, and alcohol in general, makes everything better. Doesn’t it?

It makes celebrations more vibrant, parties more fun, socialising smoother, and of course, we all think we’re funnier and charming when we’ve had a few. Aren’t we??? Every drinker knows this.

So who is right?

Honestly, I did think sobriety would be a boring wasteland. I could get on with work, go the gym, and the usual dog adventures, never with a hangover. But what about the rest of the time? Parties would be almost pointless to go to. What about my buddies where every meet-up involves drinking. Would I ever see them again? Was life about to become lonely? What would I do without wine o’clock?

I was unsure there would ever be anything to look forward to ever again. A lifetime devoid of Prosecco for celebrations, Baileys at Christmas, and of course, my old mate Merlot who was like a trusted friend to me. We had been through lots of times together. Happy times were so much better with my mate Merlot for company. Sadness could be numbed away with a large glass of the sumptious deep red nectar, not to mention it is the best stress solution in the world. And then there is my favourite of all; a boring evening in lockdown, watching the tele could be transformed into a relaxing slumber into sozzledom. It felt like a treat.

I honestly couldn’t see how a life without alcohol could be anything but dull and boring.

But then by the same token, sobriety had been looming on the horizon for me for a while. I didn’t want to be drinking getting older, as I’m determined to keep myself as fit and healthy as possible. Plus I was pretty certain I had drunk my lifetime allocation of alcohol, and then some. I was sick to death of hangovers and could do with shifting some weight.

So, last March, I dove in armed with quit lit to get me through. If you’re ever thinking about giving up drinking, this is essential.

There are 2 types of quit lit: one that retrains your brain to see alcohol for what it is, so makes giving it up easier, like Allen Carr and Annie Grace’s books. Then there are other people’s biographies of giving up alcohol. Some of these are a great read and truly inspiring, as you watch people, often with severe alcohol problems transform their lives, my absolute favorite being ‘The Sober Diaries’ by Clare Pooley, aka Sober Mummy. If they can do it, there’s no reason I can’t.

Then, in true AA style, I just took it day by day. Well, weekend by weekend really, as that was my drinking time. If I could just get through each weekend without alcohol, then that would be good enough.

In some ways it was easy, but then in other ways, really painful. Simply not consuming alcohol is easy. You just don’t and eat cake instead. At 600 calories per bottle of wine, that’s a lot of cake you can eat to keep up the calorie intake.

The first painful time was coming out of lockdown in April. Watching all my friends through the rosy lens of social media, having the best time in the world, out in beer gardens, drinking with the sun shining was a little bit heartbreaking. This was in the early days when it would be pointless to go out. I knew I would crack and have a drink. It just looked like too much fun. So I just stayed at home, on the outside watching the party through the window.

The second one was on one of those incredible height-of-summer days. I was walking through Bold Street in Liverpool, where everyone was sitting out, eating alfresco, with huge goblets of wine, looking like they were having the most gorgeous time. I had a massive pang of sadness that I will never be able to do that again. But it soon passed, and the following morning I reflected on it, thanking my lucky stars that I didn’t have a hangover.

Weirdly, one week when I was ill, I missed alcohol. Strange. I don’t recall ever drinking my way through a virus, but this week I thought about alcohol the most since I gave up. But again, it passed once I was well again.

Despite all of this, I made it! Weekend by weekend, here I am at 6 months and I get it now. I feel soooo much better, brighter, lighter (I’ve lost 1 stone without dieting), but the most amazing thing is the positivity I feel.

Argh, apologies in advance, I’m making myself cringe here being a happy-clappy, pain in the arse evangelist about sobriety, but honestly, I feel so much more positive. When I hear people moaning now, I don’t join in because I don’t want to feel dragged down. I want to stay feeling bright and sparkly.

It feels like the ultimate life hack. I’ve made myself richer, happier, and thinner.

I feel like I’m on a much more even keel now. I don’t get so stressed anymore. No hangovers ever, no taxis, no bombs to Maccies for a McHangover meal, no cringing that I may have offended someone, but can’t remember who or why. I’m beginning to wonder why I spent so many years torturing myself like that.

I’m more organised, more productive, and more creative. The future looks a lot brighter and my bank balance is a lot healthier as well. I’ve treated myself to some nice things like Pandora jewelry and designer bedding to mark sobriety and material proof to myself that life is truly better alcohol-free.

It feels like the ultimate life hack. I’ve made myself richer, happier, and thinner. All my New Years’ resolutions, done in 6 months.

My worries about life being a bland and boring wasteland have proven to be so false, the opposite is true. I’ve found my sober crew. I’ve made some fab new friends, been kayaking, to a water park, walked up moel famau twice. I always think on these days that could have been out drinking or dying of a hangover, yet here I am, with brilliant friends, having a fab time.

When I was drinking and making plans with friends, it would always revolve around alcohol. Now that is out of the picture, every plan is different, we’re going to a zip wire next, and I’m already planning a skydive for my 1-year soberversary. My life has expanded and diversified.

There have still been times I’ve had waves of boredom because you have so much more free time when you’re not drinking, but I’m learning to fill it with more creative outlets like reading, writing, and gardening, and I’ve been going to the gym a lot more. All wholesome stuff. Honestly though, even when I’m bored I don’t think about drinking anymore. I’m now convinced that Merlot was not actually my mate, but a sneaky toxic enemy that had convinced me all occasions would be boring without it. It’s just not true. Merlot had brainwashed me and I had to completely abstain to undo this. After 6 months I don’t think about drinking and definitely don’t miss it.

So I already know I’ll never go back. It would feel like going backwards to the past where life was boring, stressful, expensive, and monotonous.

In the words of Sober Mummy, Claire Pooley, the alcohol-free life is great, but it takes you around 100 days to see it and about 6 months to get there.

I would say she is about right.

If your thinking about going sober, here are my top tips to get you through the first 6 months.

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