Advanced Level Blowjobs Can Be Great

In defence of deep throating

There are quite a few arguments against porn, and I have to say that I am buying into a few of them. For one, the majority of porn is contributing to perpetuating rape culture. It depicts imagery where the focus is on the pleasure of men, often more of them at once — and while they seem to be having the time of their lives, women seem to be usually humiliated and in pain. Even assuming that most porn you see is consensual, the way how women suffering is eroticised is definitely contributing to a distorted reality about how sex should be.

For young generations, hardcore BSDM and fake rape scenes suggest that sexuality and intimacy is about his pleasure and her suffering — even is she agreed to it. It also suggests that consent doesn’t mean permanent enjoyment, and that discomfort and pain is part of the package, once you signed up for it.

Well, maybe apart from gang bangs and multiple cumshots when different men are taking turn on a writhing usually quite fragile female body, there is nothing more visually humiliating then a girl trying to deepthroat a guy with an intimidatingly big cock. And to add to the humiliation, she is always wearing way too much mascara that will end up rolling down her cheeks, making her look like a clown in a lot of pain. And no, sorry, the smile on her face doesn’t convince me.

Porn has definitely killed deepthroating for us, or at least made it into something that is an act of humiliation and unnecessary discomfort. All the similarly constructed scenes teach us that it can only be rough and soulless, where he is in total charge, pushing himself in her mouth until she gags and chokes and drools all over the floor.

And no matter how much she smiles, it looks like she just wants to go home and cry. And probably the only thing that keeps her there is the money she was promised before she knew what she got herself into it.

I am a woman who really enjoys giving blowjobs. I enjoy it for all the sensations I experience, and I really love to watch how it makes him feel. I love to explore the smooth skin of the shaft, the different texture of the helm, and I enjoy seeing, touching and tasting the diversity of it. I enjoy the diversity of differences, the length, the girth, the way how some men are growers and others are showers.

And I enjoy deep throating too.

First, I shouldn’t even speak about it, because it’s so obvious that if I do, I must be a slut. Second, I shouldn’t advocate for something that is obviously uncomfortable, painful and even humiliating. After all, why would any sane, self-respecting woman want to do it?

Well, let me break the news to you: Deep throating can be done in a way that is pleasant — for the woman as well.

I have to admit that I love doing it.

But there are a few things to know beforehand:

It has to be with the right person.

Yeah, duh, like every other thing. But here, it’s very important that in order to avoid any injuries or bad taste in your mouth (pun intended) it is the woman who needs to be in charge. This means absolutely no headpush, and preferably no movements either.

If I am in charge and I control the pace, the depth and also the point where I want to finish it, then it becomes a very sexy, extremely intimate act, where no one is humiliated, hurt or rushed into anything.

I would say that a blowjob can easily be the baseline and deep throating is always an extra you should never expect, but be extremely happy to have it whenever she decides.

The gag reflex is real.

According to studies, 37% of women totally lack gag reflex, which is our body’s natural way of preventing us from choking in case something reaches our tonsils or the back of our mouths. For the rest of us women, gag reflex can be tamed and suppressed with practice. Some sources say that you need to shove a toothbrush down your throat and gradually get used to it, until it is suppressed, and you need to do it for months. Honestly, if I had to practice for months with a toothbrush, I’m sorry guys, but it’s a no, I’d be glad to skip it forever.

It takes some practice and you need to take it slow, and it might take more than one sessions to be able to hold it down or push it really deep down. The truth is that while it is a common thing in porn, average guys don’t ever experience it in real life. In the majority of cases, assuming you don’t date porn stars, it will be still a unique experience. For those I have done it, I was the first one who managed. So no matter how short the time is that you manage, it is still a treat and he is amazingly lucky.

His pleasure is contagious.

According to the guys I talked about it it is different from a regular blowjob, being licked and sucked. It’s not better or worse, it’s different. As it is different parts that are being stimulated, the sensation will be different too.

In some cases just the unusual feeling of her throat is already such a major turn on, that the question of how many nerve endings are actually touched is not really considered.

I never had anyone telling me to stop for they didn’t enjoy it and their pleasure and moaning was directly correlating to my arousal and willingness. I remember getting dripping wet just from deep throating my boyfriend for a few minutes, so I refuse the accusation that it is not enjoyable for a woman at all.

Lubrication comes naturally.

When you start it you are going to quickly notice that you are producing large quantities of saliva. For almost all women, this is unavoidable and is definitely not something you should worry about. It’s not only natural but on the plus side, it acts as a natural lubricant. So if you notice that things get extra sloppy, then it’s good to know that it is for the best.

Tears are also natural, so in case you are into smoky eyes, you might find it wise to get rid of it, as it will surely end up smeared. And you don’t need to worry about that too.

Position matters.

Find that angle where you can relax your throat the easiest, and it might vary depending on his shape. If his cock is very straight, you might have a slightly harder time, than if it’s slightly bent. For me, kneeling in front of him is an impossible setup for deepthroating, it has to be done lying down, usually done from the side — again depending on the shape of the cock.

Finishing it?

Now, when the woman feels safe and in control, this should be equally her decision. It is possible to come deep down in her throat and it’s a slightly weird sensation that you need to be ready for. It is also possible to go back to a simple blowjob and from then on decide on swallowing, spitting or choosing not even to come in her mouth.

None of it is better or worse than the other, it has nothing to do with willingness or personality — it’s all about personal choices that have to be respected.

Consent, breathing and control.

I’d say that it should always be coming as a proposal from her, as her verbalising her wish to try it is the utmost consent you can get.

We need to breathe to survive, you know that right? It is a bit complicated when it comes to breathing when you have a cock deep in your throat, especially if he is well endowed. Then there are two things to do:

1. Breathe through your nose at the moments when he pulls slightly out.
2. Or if that doesn’t work, as his size doesn’t really allow it, then she needs to take short breaks to catch her breath. It doesn’t mean to stop it all together, but to use the downtime for further teasing and alternating sucking with deep throating.

Deep throating can be extremely sexy for both the man and the woman involved. It should always happen in a safe environment and as I said, it is not the norm, this is the extra present.

I personally like it and I like to see the surprised look on my man’s face when he sees how his cock disappears totally in my mouth. It’s very sexy and extremely arousing — not just for him, but for me. And contrary to what we see in porn it doesn’t need to be done for hours, but trying it and checking how it makes him go crazy shifts the whole oral sex scene to a next level.

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