The 5 best ways to adapt to change without freaking out
No one likes major change, but it’s often inevitable. These are the best techniques you can use to adapt without freaking out.
by: E.B. Johnson
As we move through life we undergo countless experiences, some good and some bad. Throughout it all, we undergo a process of change. Our experiences shift little pieces within us and these pieces re-adjust our outlooks and perceptions on everything from life to career and relationships. Although this change is constant, we still fear it and we still run from it. It’s natural. We’re human and we like our routines. We still have to shed this fear, though, and embrace change for the value it brings into our lives.
Does the idea of change (in your life or your relationships) inspire intense fear? Do you freeze up or shut down any time you’re forced to confront the idea of a different you? The only way to build a life that is authentically aligned to who you are is to embrace change and embrace all that the future has to offer. Growing is uncomfortable, but it’s beautiful too. Stop running from the inevitable and find better ways to find the silver lining in the change that is everywhere and all around you.
Change is an unavoidable fact of life.
You can toil away your whole life to get everything right, and you still won’t be able to avoid the hiccups of major change. It’s a part of life. Every second of every day is filled with change, though some changes may be too small to perceive. If we’re really looking for happy lives that are filled with contentment and fulfillment, then we have to accept this change as a natural part of the process. In order to be happy, we have to grow. In order to grow, we have to change.
Do you struggle with changing environments, experiences, or relationships? When confronted with change do you hide, freeze up, or lash out in overly dramatic ways? All of these are sure-fire signs that you struggle with the act of change — no matter where it occurs in your life. Getting on top of this fear is the next step, but doing that asks a commitment and action of us.
Are you ready to embrace a more fulfillment and meaningful life? Then open up your arms (and your eyes) to change. Accept it as a part of your everyday reality. Then cast new anchors for yourself that ground you and bring you back to a settled place of acceptance. Lean into your support networks and reach out to those who you trust to support you. Seek the things you still appreciate and find the silver lining. Change is inevitable. Shift the way you see it to find peace within it.
Undeniable signs that you struggle with change.
Struggling with change is a pretty common experience. We humans are creatures of habit, and we like our routines and the comfort of sameness. Unfortunately, growth doesn’t happen in our comfort zones. It comes when we embrace change and make it a part of futures.
Locking up with fear
What’s your first response when you encounter unexpected change? One of the most common ways many of us respond is by locking up with fear. Due to the experiences of our pasts, or even our lacking self-esteem, we end up pulling back or freezing entirely when we’re faced with the choice to grow or to stay the same. We run away from this change because we fear we don’t have what it takes to navigate (or we fear putting in the work).
Struggling for control
Are you someone who has been called “controlling” or “bossy”? Do you try to micromanage your entire life and everything in it? This struggle for control is often an early indication of a fear of change. You’re so determined to keep everything precisely where it is, that you tighten your grip and attempt to keep a tight rein around anyone and anything in your environment. The problem there, however, is that life is chaotic and unpredictable. Everything is in a state of change.
Over-attachment to comfort
Humans are creatures of comfort, but we’re also creatures of habit too. As a matter of fact, our habits and our routines provide us with a great deal of the comfort that we seek in life. We like things to be the same, and we like them to be predictable. It gives us an illusion of power and makes us feel like we can let our guard down. Even here, though, this refusal to break routine is toxic. It also indicates someone with a corrosive relationship to change and personal growth.
Dramatic overreactions
How do you react when you encounter an unexpected setback or change to something you were planning? Do you blow up? Lash out? Blame it on other people, or look for someone to punish? These are all dramatic overreactions which indicate someone who has a hard time relinquishing control over their ever-changing life. Living this way will leave you alienated and isolated, with no discernible support network (or sense of purpose and joy).
Social anxiety
Social anxiety is a small and subtle sign that you are someone who doesn’t necessarily relish change. While our social anxieties can stem from a lot of places, the fear of meeting new people is closely tied into our adaptability when it comes to change. We fear inviting new faces into our friend groups because they are an unknown (change). They don’t know how to predict us, and we don’t know how to predict them either.
Endless self-sabotage
The individual who truly fears change is also usually the person who engages in a fair deal of self-sabotage. Rather than growing or to allow themselves to move forward, they shoot down their own chances of personal development by holding themselves back. Perhaps they engage in risky behaviors which land them in time-wasting trouble with the law, or they engage in pattern in pushing others away before anyone can get close enough to love or appreciate them.
How to become more adaptive and stop freaking out.
Resorting to panic every time there’s a major (or minor) change in your life is a recipe for heartache and misery. Being happy requires that we learn how to adjust to the changes that life throws our way. When we choose to be more adaptive, we can choose to stop freaking out and start embracing change as the growth it represents.
1. Understand the reality of life
What do you picture life to be? How does it stack up to the life you imagined for yourself as a child? The fact of the matter is that building a world for ourselves is a challenge. No matter how hard we work to get everything “right” things don’t always turn out the way we want them to. People change, and so do our circumstances. What was there a moment ago is gone in the blink of an eye. That’s the reality of life, and the sooner we accept it, the better off we are.
Make an effort to accept and understand the reality of life better. The plans you make aren’t always going to work out. The person you fall in love with is not always going to be the same person that you end up with. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s full of beauty too. Change is a part of that beauty, and it brings with it invaluable lessons.
Running from the truth won’t make it any less applicable in your life. We are all caught in a state of change. Our partnerships are changing, our friendships are changing. Even the things we want and expect from who we are is continually changing in line with our experiences. Understand the reality of your life and understand the reality of being a part of this world. You can’t outrun change, and you never will. Stop trying and embrace it as a part of the process.
2. Cast new anchors for yourself
One of the reasons we fear change so greatly is because it’s a major unknown. In the unknown, we have no anchors. We are a ship adrift with no sight of land and no hope of peace in the chaos. In order for us to find some peace in the storm of life, we have to cast new anchors for ourselves, which allow us to gain control once again. These anchors are the things which bring us joy and remind us that there’s beauty in the process.
Instead of trembling at the idea of starting over, find pleasure in developing a new routine. There’s an excitement in getting a chance to do things over, or do them differently than you did before. As you go about building this routine, plant anchor points in your new reality and use those points of joy to keep you rooted through the transition.
Our anchor points are those things (or people) which keep us grounded and keep us sane. They can provide us with a laugh when we’re feeling frozen with fear. They can give us the encouragement that we need when we’re feeling insecure or faithless in ourselves. Anchor points are an important thing to have in order to keep ourselves stabilized through hardships and the unexpected.
3. Lean into your support networks
Change — in any facet of our lives — throws us off balance and forces us to confront who we are and what we want. Figuring these things out is difficult when we’re off balance, however. We struggle to see our reflections for all the confusion in the way. That’s where our support networks can come into play. Calling on them when we’re battling major change is a solid way to get some support and perspective.
Lean into your support networks. Reach out to those friends and family members that you trust most in the world. Express your concerns and explain what is going on. Open up to them, then listen when they give you their point of view. What is their take on things? What do they think of your ability to overcome these current obstacles?
Our loved ones can be a powerful mirror by which to see who we really are. They see strengths and capabilities within us that we often lose sight of when we’re feeling off balance or otherwise without anchor. Although change puts us off balance, our friends and loved ones are safe and secure within their own reality. Use their viewpoint to rebuild your perspective of self.
4. Seek the things you can appreciate
Mindfulness and appreciation go such a long way in helping us through the challenging times in life. Being lost in the unknown is scary, but we can provide ourselves solace by being present in the moment and holding tight to those things which still provide us with a sense of gratitude or a sense of joy. Believe it or not, there’s always something to be grateful for…even in the midst of great or unsettling change.
Find the silver lining in your situation — no matter where it leads you. There is always some benefit we can find in the path that life is taking us on. Maybe you’re realizing a strength you never knew you had, or an invaluable new skill that unexpected hardships has pressed you to develop.
Seek the things you can still appreciate in your situation. Has this unexpected change put you into new circumstances? What new people have you encountered because of these changes? What new relationships or habits have you formed? To choose to see a silver lining because there always is one. Choose to see the good in where you’re at, because there’s always a different way of looking at things.
5. Change the way you see the shift
Even as children, we learn early that change is often an unsettling and upsetting thing. Change as a child is always hard. It completely upsets your world and your perception of self when your homes get disrupted, or your family gets tossed into uncertain chaos. This fear of change we develop as adolescents follows us into our adult years. In order to adapt to it, we have to shift the way we see and relate to this change.
Pinpoint all those tiny fears you’ve built up around situations not playing out the way you want and replace them with a more positive outlook. Instead of seeing change as an upset, see it as a gift. Choose to see it as the universe taking something away so that it could provide you with the things you truly needed and wanted.
By consciously and intentionally hanging the way you perceive change, you will change your emotional and mental attachment to it. The turbulent ups and downs won’t become so extreme when you see change as a welcome alternative instead of a wicked opponent. This process takes work, though, and it requires that we are mindful and kind to ourselves each day. Want to improve your adaptability? Consciously switch your fear for optimism.
Putting it all together…
As humans, we spend a great deal of our lives seemingly running around and searching for any semblance of happiness we can hold on to as our own. We put a lot of that happiness into the changeable aspects of the world, though, (like relationships, our careers, and even our financial circumstances) and don’t spend enough time appreciating the value that major shifts can bring into your lives. If you want to be more adaptable, change the way you see change as a whole.
Understand the reality of life. Like it or not, change is all around us. It’s happening within us on a cellular level, and it’s happening outside of us within our relationships, our careers, and an even the world at large. There’s no escaping change, so we have to embrace it and we can do that by casting anchors for ourselves. Reach out and touch those things which once brought you happiness outside, including your support networks and those who love and know you best. Instead of running from the change, turn and face it. Find the silver lining and look for the good that you can still gleam from the situation. None of us is perfect, but we can hold a perfectly imperfect view on the world at large. Decide to see change as a stepping stone to your growth and move forward with conviction. The entire future is waiting to see you thrive.
