Acting Chief of Staff Rushed to ER with POTUS Close Behind

This writer has just learned that acting White House Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney was rushed to MedStar Georgetown University Hospital to have his head surgically removed from POTUS’ posterior.

A White House staffer, who proffered to remain anonymous, explained that, since Mulvaney acknowledged that the president held up military aid to pressure Ukraine to investigate Democrats, “He’s been kissing ass all week to get back into Trump’s good graces.”

President Trump, according to a hospital intern who also preferred anonymity, was “uncharacteristically quiet” during the procedure. “I think he was too busy tweeting on his phone to give a damn about what was going on,” said the source, adding, “He even told the doctors and nurses to ‘hurry the hell up.’ Who acts like that when someone’s head is stuck up their ass?”

Having never seen anything to rival this type of medical emergency, hospital staffers were understandably shocked and disturbed when Mulvaney and POTUS were rolled into the ER. It was a sight so horrific, in fact, that one of the attending doctors vomited into a planter holding a fake Ficus tree.

“They were both on the same gurney,” said the intern. “It took four of us to wheel them in. That’s how heavy they were.” He added, “Geez. Trump has really porked out, ya know? His belly was hanging over the side of the gurney and Mulvaney was only visible from the neck down. Man, I hope I never see anything like that, again.”

Assuredly, no one wants to see anything like that ever but, with Mulvaney poised to go down in history as one of this administration’s most accomplished butt-kissers — and that speaks volumes — we should be ready for damn near anything.

Mulvaney, who in 2016 said this about POTUS: “Trump should be disqualified,” referring to him as a “horrible human being,” has apparently done an about face and is now, just another hypocritical supporter of the crazy, orange guy in the White House.

We are left with the notion that POTUS isn’t quite “horrible” enough for Mulvaney to walk away from the Chief of Staff gig. That said — tomorrow is another day.

Finally, hospital staffers who were on site when Mulvaney/POTUS was brought in, have been offered “counseling,” if they want it. As of this writing, they’ve all responded, “Hell, yeah.”

Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

More fun with politicos to come. Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy the following: