avatarMeandering Dan

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

3470

Abstract

o naïve as to think I could erase an experience by simply deciding it hadn’t happened.</p><p id="2fd1">I was given three days to decide whether I was going to carry the baby to term or have an abortion. I spent every waking minute thinking of all the possible outcomes for myself and that “child,” praying for an answer, for direction.</p><p id="7934">Enraged, I called the man who raped me told him the situation he’d put me in. The following night, at 2 AM, he called and told me that he was lying in bed and could hear <b><i>his baby’s heartbeat</i></b>. He told me that I <b><i>had</i></b> to keep the baby. He told me that the future of the fetus was as much <b><i>his decision</i></b> as mine.</p><p id="8e7c">That’s when I knew what I had to do. I went to the abortion clinic the next day since the thought of having my future forever tied to this violent man through a child… that was a future that evoked more fear in me than an eternity in some hypothetical Hell.</p><p id="7357">The doctor who performed that pre-Christmas abortion was the Devil incarnate. She did her job but she made sure I knew how immoral my actions were. She made sure I felt the physical pain as deeply as the emotional and spiritual pain I had to deal with.</p><p id="f4e2">This morning, as I read news about Alabama’s new anti-abortion legislation, I wept. I’ve not stopped weeping all day — it’s now 4PM and I can barely focus my eyes.</p><p id="088b">I’m a wreck.</p><p id="130c">I’m angry.</p><p id="447f">And I’m tired. I’m so tired of worrying about being judged for having made a no-win decision.</p><p id="8f9f">In deciding to have that late-term abortion, I chose my life over that of a fetus. It’s true—I got to complete university without disruption. I got to be an irresponsible twenty-something without worrying that my dumb decisions were going to ruin another human’s life. My physical life was definitely easier not having to be a twenty-year-old mother.</p><p id="9530">But I also chose a path that required me to give up my faith and to lose a community I expected to be part of my whole life.</p><p id="ffb8">I started the process of losing my faith in God because of that trinity of rape, pregnancy, and abortion. I had no choice since I could not resolve the hypocrisy of my belief, “girls who get themselves in trouble deserve the consequences,” with my lived experience. I could not resolve having had an abortion with what the faith told me was right and what was sinful.</p><p id="cdfd">I didn’t feel like a sinner, I felt like a victim, not only of the man but of a god who left me entirely alone to experience each of three unholy acts. So I left him.</p><p id="ec44">I was fifty-one-years-old before I could even say the words “abortion” and “rape.” The wounds I carry from thirty years of self-loathing have only just begun to heal. And now that I can speak my truth, not in a watered down, politically-corrected, fictionalized version of my truth, I can’t <i>not</i> speak up.</p><p id="e813">And I know that there are real risks in doing so. I know that even progressive people in my wide community will judge me. I know that I risk losing clients for exposing my truth.</p><p id="c877">But I also know that I can’t sit quietly by while politicians and others publicly state that pregnancy resulting from rape is not possible due to stress hormones or lack of female fluids or whatever cockamamy idea they assert as fact.</p><p id="2d00">I am not an outl

Options

ier. My experience of getting pregnant as the result of rape was not one-in-a-million. But my experience of being raped was one <i>of</i> a million women’s stories.</p><p id="a5e4">Just a few weeks ago I wrote <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/adoption-story-1b6c3ac33844">the story of my aunt</a> whose origins are unknown to our family.</p><p id="7f7e">Auntie Karen was given to my grandfather in a cardboard box by the pastor of our church at a time when babies born to unwed mothers were being placed in orphanages that were, in fact, run by the Catholic church as mental institutions. The lives of thousands of children were truly Hell on Earth because abortion was not an option in the 1950s.</p><p id="b980">Today I can’t stop weeping for all of the lives ruined when a baby is born into a family that is unable to care for it—regardless of the reason. I weep for that twenty-year-old who had to make an impossible decision and was so afraid of being judged that she made it on her own. And, I weep for the fifty-three-year-old woman who still carries the weight of shame and grief for a decision that she never should have had to make.</p><p id="dfa5">But mostly, I weep for the women of Alabama who have lost the right to make the physical, emotional and spiritual decision that, regardless of what path they might have taken, will have to live with for the rest of their lives.</p><h1 id="f184">He Said What?</h1><ol><li>All the ways the rape/pregnancy connection have been declared impossible.</li></ol><p id="3a40"><b>Todd Atkin</b> (R-Miss.), 2012, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”</p><p id="0e9e"><b>Henry Aldridge </b>(R-NC), 2012, “The facts show that people who are raped — who are truly raped — the juices don’t flow, the body functions don’t work and they don’t get pregnant.”</p><p id="db18"><b>Stephen Friend </b>(R-Penn.), 1988, “It is almost but not quite impossible to become pregnant on the basis of rape. The odds are one in millions and millions and millions…Rape, obviously, is a traumatic experience. When that traumatic experience is undergone, a woman secretes a certain secretion, which has a tendency to kill sperm.”</p><p id="0f47"><b>Judge James Leon Holmes</b>, 2003, “Concern for rape victims is a red herring because conceptions from rape occur with approximately the same frequency as snowfall in Miami.”</p><h1 id="cf90">What Scientific American Says</h1><p id="c404"><a href="https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/context-and-variation/here-is-some-legitimate-science-on-pregnancy-and-rape/?redirect=1">Here is Some Legitimate Science on Pregnancy and Rape</a></p><p id="0ebd">#YouKnowMe</p><p id="6aa0"><i>Thank you so much for reading. If this piece spoke to you, you might enjoy:</i></p><div id="0762" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/when-your-gut-says-leave-but-your-heart-says-give-him-a-chance-caba47f6ebb2"> <div> <div> <h2>When Your Gut Says, ‘Leave,’ But Your Heart Says, ‘Give Him a Chance’</h2> <div><h3>For the love of all things holy, listen to your gut!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*WNC_Cu2ye9Fe5D5Eie6peA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Clothes-Free Travel

A-Z TRAVEL — Naturist Edition: H is for Hawaii

Perhaps the most idyllic nakation spot on the planet… where naturism is all but impossible

© Daniel Carlson (author) — edited in Fotor

Beautiful beaches. The perfect climate. An infinite number of remote seaside coves. And a bizarre post-missionary ethos that has made Hawaii one of the most tricky naturist destinations in the world.

TEXTILE TIP: There are very few naturist beaches in Hawaii, and those that exist lack any kind of official status amongst the local authorities. This seems like the dream destination for those who fear inadvertently stumbling upon a nude beach — yet somehow, according to TripAdvisor, people still manage to do that. But if you’re headed to the 50th state and visiting a nude beach is on your bucket list, it can still be done.

It’s been a few years since our last trip to Hawaii.

Last time, we avoided Oahu altogether and headed straight to Maui. We found reasonable accommodations in Lahaina in a guesthouse that most certainly perished in the recent fires, visiting friends and exploring the island from there.

Later, we caught a jumper flight to the Big Island where we rented a yurt at a small clothing-optional resort called Hangin’ Loose. Owners Jan and Michael have since retired, so that place no longer exists either, so what I’m not equipped to write about is where to stay in naturist Hawaii.

Huh… Naturist Hawaii.

An oxymoron, it seems.

As best I understand it, Hawaii had all the makings of a naturist paradise before we — the prudish citizens of the US of A — arrived with a mandate to get dressed and go to church!

Stories like this one have always boggled my mind, especially given the inherent intermingling on evangelizing, colonizing, and empiricizing [Spellcheck say that’s not a word, but I’m going with it.] that has left such an indelible mark on so much of the planet.

I have vivid recollections of my first visit to Hawaii during college when we were spectators at the evening extravaganza at the cultural arts center run by the Mormons on the north side of Oahu.

So many bare chested men in loin clothes

So many scantily clad women.

So much skin.

Up to a point…

I’ve heard of hidden beaches on several of the islands where one might get away with sunning in the altogether, but time and access only afforded visits of two of the most famous during our stay.

Little Beach — © Daniel Carlson (author)
On the blue horizon — © Daniel Carlson (author)
Tide pools on Little Beach — © Daniel Carlson (author)

Little Beach, also known as Makena Beach is located on the southwest corner of Maui directly adjacent to a place imaginatively called, Big Beach. To reach the former, you need to pack up your gear and make the trek across the wide expanse of Big Beach, scramble over the rocks, and then find a place amidst the decidedly clothing-optional crowd that meets your comfort level.

The day we were there I would say it was about 60/40 with the majority of visitors donning some kind of swimwear. But nobody seems uneasy about that in either direction.

A perfect example of live and let live, we thought.

My wife is a much better swimmer than I and loved splashing in the rough surf that is known to have a strong undertow. I was happy to settle on the rocks on the far end of the beach to alternate between reading, snoozing, and people-watching.

That was all before the pandemic.

Rumor has it that Little Beach went into total lockdown during COVID, during which time a gate was erected. Last I heard, authorities come through and tell everyone to leave at 4:00 p.m. on weekends and 7:00 p.m. on weekdays.

Speculation is that is an effort to cut down on the weekly drum circle party along with other “questionable behavior.” Others say the locals have been looking for a reason to shut down Little Beach for years. We missed the drum circle and encountered no questionable behavior during our stay.

It’s a shame, really.

Isn’t there enough shoreline on Maui for everyone to find their groove?

One online reviewer complained that it would have been nice if there had been warning signs about the fact that she was on a clothing-optional beach. But all she had seen, instead, were signs everywhere stating that nudity was not permitted.

Hmm… Since those signs are rarely found on any other beach in Hawaii, might that have been a clue?

Our stay on the Big Island was near the quirky little village of Pahoa Town. The most newsworthy bit about that part of the island is its proximity to lava flows which had literally oozed to the edge of the town center shortly before our visit.

Was great while it lasted — © Daniel Carlson (author)
Life in a luxury yurt — © Daniel Carlson (author)
So much amazing flora — © Daniel Carlson (author)

Visiting at the end of August, we learned that we were most definitely on the rainy side of the island. We spent many an afternoon sitting on the porch of our yurt, sipping wine, and watching the torrential rains flow over the gutters.

Rainy days and Mondays. — © Daniel Carlson (author)

Strangely enough, we were less than an hour’s drive from Volcano National Park where the steep ascent takes you right up through the clouds into clear skies where we could watch the caldera glow in the pre-dawn hours.

Well… that worked out better one morning than the other, but we were able to seize the obligatory photo-op, nonetheless.

A peek into the core of the earth — © Daniel Carlson (author)

While our little resort with a luxury yurt may be gone, the other main attraction — at least for us — in the region was Kehena Beach. Secluded and accessible by a trail down that leads you through the jungle foliage lands you on a magical black sand beach. The Sunday afternoon drum circle is renowned in the region, which tends to draw hippies out in droves, dressed in tie-dye, beads, or nothing at all.

Had we been a bit more outgoing, I suspect we could have found someone willing to share the aromatic stuff wafting through the air, but that’s not really our style. We were simply happy to play in the surf and soak up a few rays.

The lava fields of the Big Island — © Daniel Carlson (author)
And the hieroglyphics there upon — © Daniel Carlson (author)

I’ve read about other clothing-optional beaches scattered around the shores of the Big Island. And since our last visit, it seems two new smallish resorts have opened in that region as well. Isle of You Naturally is also near Pahoa Town and appears quite reminiscent of the ambiance we experienced there, less the convenience of electricity. Hawaiian Naturist Park seems a bit more upscale — relatively speaking — and is located well up the mountain toward the Volcano Park, suggesting that you might experience a few more sunny days there.

Having not visited either, I’d love to hear from anybody who has in the comments.

Since we live in the northeast United States, finding our way to Hawaii is almost more difficult than flying to Thailand or South Africa where we’ve found mid-winter nakation destinations with better amenities.

But if you’re hell-bent on a Hawaiian vacation and would like to mix in a bit of nakation, it’s good to know there are still a few options remaining. You might also want to check out this blog post by our friends Sam and Aleah who had considerable success finding nude beaches, even on Oahu. Regardless, it’s a beautiful post.

I’m excited to be back on my A-Z Naturist Destination quest here on Globetrotters. Upcoming posts will take you to exotic places like France, Thailand, and… Idaho! [Who knew?]

In the meantime, you can find all the previous installments of my A-Z project in the introductory post below.

Finally, a shout-out to the other participants in the A-Z project who inspired me to present my own unique perspective in this naturist edition. Please follow them as well: Anne Bonfert, Adrienne Beaumont, Jerry Dwyer, Nishan, Jillian Amatt - Artistic Voyages, Robert G. Longpré, Darren Weir, Ronald Smit.

Who have I missed?

Enjoy this story? Please take a moment to clap! You can clap up to 50 times, and each time you do that, it helps move these stories about travel, naturism, and life up the queue in the MEDIUM algorithm. What’s more, if you take time to comment — even a brief comment — that helps promote the story as well.

Thanks for taking a moment to support my work here on Medium!

Read more of our naturist musings on our blog…

www.meanderingnaturist.com
Hawaii
Maui
Nude Beach
Naturism
Globetrotter
Recommended from ReadMedium