Motherhood

A Young Mother’s Journey Through Adversity and Faith

From Toxemia’s Trial to Finding Strength in God’s Plan

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A testament to survival, faith, and a mother’s unyielding resolve amidst turmoil

The second time I learned I was pregnant, I was in a foreign country. This pregnancy was accidental. The father was a raging and abusive alcoholic. Even so, I decided to keep the baby.

In my third trimester, I started experiencing significant pain in my ribs. After a few weeks of this, my symptoms developed into pain all over my body, a nonstop migraine, and intense nausea. At this point, I decided to go to the hospital.

The doctor there told me I was experiencing pregnancy poisoning or toxemia. My condition was so bad I told the father of the baby that if he had to choose, he should save my child’s life.

One night, I got so sick I couldn’t even move. I was stuck in my bed, thinking over my life, and I had a night full of life-changing realizations.

In the middle of the night, I started desperately praying to Jesus. I believed in God, but I was not a spiritual person; I was desperate. I asked him to take away this horrible pain.

He was here, alone in my bed, that I first felt the presence of the divine.

At this point in my life, I was living through hell. I was alone in my ex-husband's country without a family or a support system. Every single day, my ex manipulated me, isolated me, and humiliated me.

My ex had me wholly trapped. Since I had my first child in his country, he had already put measures in place to gain full custody of my kids if I ever left him.

Perhaps my experience with toxemia had a higher purpose in my life. Maybe it was meant to make me so sick I couldn’t do anything but reflect on my life’s choices.

I knew I wanted to leave my ex. I knew this would be dangerous. I knew I’d risk losing my kids. I just couldn’t do it anymore. Something had to change.

These realizations made me feel like the odds were stacked entirely against me. How would I escape with my first child and a newborn baby?

In that room, me, my kid, and God, I felt this strong motherly energy wash over me. My daughter’s entrance into this world was an emergency caesarian procedure. This surgery was so traumatic for my body that I had to spend several days recuperating in the hospital.

When it was time to go home, I tried to keep the peace. I tried to pretend everything was okay — that I was okay. I felt like I was walking on eggshells. My heart was very heavy. I spent every single day trying to plot my escape.

I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want to rock the boat. I didn’t want to make it angry.

In this state of helplessness, I started praying to God daily. I asked him to remove me from this situation. I was quickly running out of hope, and since I could see no options in front of me, I surrendered to God’s plan.

One day, a feeling of gratitude washed over me. When everything seemed impossible, I realized God had more in store for me.

I had to survive this because I was always meant to stay this.

I just knew I wasn’t done.

God never left me alone. He gave me my daughter to help me realize that I needed to take responsibility for creating a better life for myself.

Despite my challenges, I am grateful for my blessings.

Thank you for reading my story.

Explore another poignant tale written by Prashansa Gadgil, capturing the challenges of childbirth and the profound transformation into motherhood amid complications.

I am a new writer on Medium, and this is my first story on ILLUMINATION-Curated. If you enjoy my story, I’d appreciate your feedback. Thanks to Dr Mehmet Yildiz and his editorial team for helping me publish this story. I also appreciate the ILLUMINATION editors for introducing me to the community.

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