COMFORT

A Star Is Born

One Last Smile

This is the last photo taken of my father while he was fully alert and smiling. The hat (or helmet), he’s wearing was to protect his head from injuries if he fell. He had difficulty accepting that he could no longer walk. He didn’t let it stop him from doing what he loved!

A Brief Moment of Stardom

The above photo is a screenshot of my dad playing his guitar for the last time. He played the song, “Room Full of Roses” by Mickey Gilley. I’m not a fan of country music, but I’m certainly my dad’s biggest fan! I enjoyed every song he played.

He was confused and beginning to forget guitar chords and song lyrics. I watched him play guitar a few times in physical therapy. One time in particular stood out to me, and especially to him. He was in the midst of a happy delusion. The conversation, which followed his playing, went something like this:

Dad — “I have a problem.” Me — “What’s wrong?” Dad — chuckles sweetly as if the problem should be obvious to me, and says, “Well, first of all, there’s the standing ovation I received. I didn’t know the crowd would go that wild. I’m wondering if I need to hire security.”

Said crowd, was five people in wheelchairs, a nurse, and myself. There were some gentle claps and very big smiles lighting up the area. But in his mind, he received a standing ovation and the crowd went wild! I suppose that’s as wild as a crowd can get in a nursing home setting. He was happy, so I was happy.

Here was his dilemma: Dad — “I don’t know how I’m going to go on the road and be a star. I’ll have to get a manager, and this is just too much pressure for me at my age. I can’t live this wild lifestyle.”

What’s interesting is that my father’s occupation was a CPA. He would semi-jokingly say it’s the most boring occupation in the world. But he did it for over forty years, and said he liked it, for the most part.

The above photo was taken in our home in 1989. The only place my father ever played his guitar, was at home. On rare occasions he would play at family events, but never in front of a crowd of strangers.

But on that day in the nursing home The last day he ever picked up his guitar A star was born. Finally he had his moment to shine.

Little did he know, he was always a star in my eyes. He was one of the lights of my life.

Sharing his musical talent and abilities, brought a lot of joy to the other patients in his rehab facility, as well. Those photos were taken on rare occasions of lucidity, since his sudden onset of Lewy Body Dementia.

Even amidst his confusion, my father was still teaching me life lessons. I learned from his example that day. Even when our situation appears bleak, we still have something we can give to those around us.

Lewy Body Dementia

Within a two week time period of his diagnosis, my father transformed from someone who lived and drove independently, to a state of constant confusion with the inability to walk. He could no longer stand without fainting. It affected his autonomic nervous system, causing difficulty regulating his blood pressure. He passed away eight months after his initial diagnosis.

What is Dementia with Lewy Bodies? In this disease, tiny clumps of proteins known as Lewy bodies appear in the nerve cells of the brain. Lewy bodies are named after FH Lewy, the German doctor who first identified them. Lewy bodies cause a range of symptoms, some of which are shared by Alzheimer’s disease and some by Parkinson’s disease.

A Peaceful Life and Death

My father was asked to speak at my high school awards ceremony in my Senior year. I attended Catholic school, though I wasn’t Catholic. The priest said he wanted my dad to speak, because he thought he was very wise. My dad was painfully shy, certainly not a public speaker. But he did it. And he did it well.

Seeing him play his guitar and sing publicly at the nursing home that day, was an amazing moment for my father and for me. Regardless of his delusions and hallucinations, I was proud of him.

He was a gentle man of a calm demeanor. His quest was to live a peaceable life, and I believe he did so. His life spoke volumes to this world, in his own quiet way. It seems like I’ve seen his sweet smile a thousand times, but I always long for just one more.

As a nurse of over twenty-six years, I’ve held many dying hands. His is the most peaceful passing away I’ve ever witnessed, and that brings me great comfort.

This quiet, shy soul, who was my father, finally had his moment to shine. He was a star for a day.

What Do Stars Mean to Me?

When I first saw this prompt, it conjured images of stars in the sky, constellations and celestial bodies. But I’ve been thinking a lot about my father lately. The thought hit me like a bolt of lightning or a falling star:

Who needs to look to the sky when you have stars right in front of you?

Perhaps you know a star who has yet to be born. Perhaps there’s someone, a neighbor, a friend, or a stranger — who simply needs to be seen. I can’t see my father or help him in any way anymore. But there is a whole world of people hiding in loneliness, who need to be seen, heard and appreciated.

How many souls can we light with love? How many stars are simply waiting for an opportunity to shine?

Mia Verita 2022

Thank you for reading.

Thank you, Dr. Preeti Singh, for this inspirational prompt and for all your hard editorial work at Reciprocal.

Thank you to the other hard-working editors of Reciprocal, Sahil Patel and Yana Bostongirl, for giving this star a place to shine.

You can read more about my father here —

I’d like to share this fascinating article about stars, by Elder Taoist.

Here’s an inspiring article about stars, by Dr. Preeti Singh.

Here’s a comforting article about nature, by Dr. Fatima Imam.

Mia Verita loves being an advocate for those who are sick or suffering. She takes great pleasure in sharing compassion with the world. She enjoys photography, sketching, writing poetry, and sharing inspirational stories.

If you would like to read all of Mia’s stories and those of other Medium members, you can join Medium using her affiliate link. She will receive a portion of the membership fee at no additional cost to you.