A Serving of Bush Roasted Chuck

An Amyish attempt at humour

What. Am. I. Doing?!

My humour more commonly sparked in the moment.

Within the one-upmanship digs in a socially lubricated situation.

After a few frothies and cab savs at the local watering hole. Or after an esky top-up at the bottlo heading to a barbie.

You know.

The “my dick is bigger than yours” scenarios.

Or engine sizes.

Always seems to come down to balls and horsepower with the blokes.

My tits are way bigger than any balls..especially post being attached to a milking machine.

Pre-ankle-biters my cars were probably bigger than yours too. A bogan through and through. Born in the bogan capital of Australia… Frankston.

The sounds of V8’s doing burnouts my lullabies.

Or maybe these days it’s more about the size of a beard.

Might even be able to challenge you there. Italian blood gifting me hair in places I would prefer it didn’t.

I don’t even know what we are battling over?

A title.

A claim to fame.

To be better than another.

Oh fuck.

Popularity contests even further from who I am.

Tall poppy syndrome is what we call it. Get real. Get ya head out of arse, pull ya head in and she’ll be right mate.

Now if you told me I was a shelia who should keep my arse in the kitchen and my words in my gob then look out! I’ll spit the dummy and rip roar a rant. Get my knickers in a full knot.

Threats of bloke parts being chopped off and handed back to ya would come next.

Fair suck of the sauce bottle. Reckon that’s a fair dinkum reaction. ‘Specially these days.

The more layers of shit piled on, the more love ya really showing. Plenty of dunny roll these days to clean up the mess.

Knowing its all a fun jest, not a true contest. I really do love the spirit these digs are given in. To have a laugh —take the piss.

The only reason I stepped out of my comfort zone and played along, was to support a real top chick, Desiree Driesenaar. She reckons she is dozer. Boring as bat shit. But she’s far from it.

Saving mother nature is a bloody beaut cause.

She rolls her sleeves up and gets down and dirty. Good on ya chick. Top-notch battler I say.

She ain't a few stubbies short of a six-pack either. She is a full slab on her shit. Her John Dory deadset. Not even close to being bored shitless reading her lingo.

Check out her roar

Now, only cause I’m true blue, I gotta give cred to the blokes that have stirred the pot.

Charles Roast the original drongo to have a go

Rasheed Hooda was the next throw a punch

There was some tip of the hat clause. But I gotta pass. It’s a bit iffy for me to challenge a select few. The whole damn mob should give it a go… no worries if it ain't your cuppa tea or ya heading outback.

Stoked if ya give it go. Give us a shout out if ya do. Piece of piss.

Cheers chooks.

Time for me to rack off — gotta go down me some tucker.

Youse ‘ave a goodin.