A Relatable Post about PMS

For all the people who deal with mood swings and pain on their cycle each month. Know that you’re not alone.

I was always very lucky when my time of month rolled around. Minimal cramps, mild symptoms, and mood swings didn’t turn me into an absolute nut case. And now, in my mid-twenties, the effect of my period has transformed into something monstrous, anxiety-ridden, and painful.

My period has seemingly taken control over my body, and more importantly, my mind. I write this article in an effort to bring some sanity and peace to others like me who went from a painless period to absolute horror.

Maybe you have always been bedridden during your moon cycle.

Sometimes, it’s hard to understand why we think the thoughts we do and feel the vast spectrum of all emotions in a single day, if not an hour (when we are shedding).

This post purely exists as relatable commentary. If you were thinking that you were alone, you are not. If you just started to get your period, read on to know what to expect and how to be proactive with your body.

The Cramps

Looking back, I only ever had cramps really bad for the first day, and then for the rest of my period, I felt nothing at all. Since the onset of Covid, I have admittedly been far less active. I didn’t realize how much a lack of exercise and movement could possibly affect my menstrual cycle.

And damn, was I wrong! This past cycle, my cramps woke me up in the middle of the night and had me popping Advil like tic tacs. For women who regularly deal with this, I understand this is typical and I feel your pain. For me, though, this is extremely atypical, and gave me the reality check I needed to get my ass up and moving every day!

If you don’t exercise before your period and your cramps have you feeling like you’re knocking on death’s door, please do yourself a favor and get moving.

Mood Swings

I have had girlfriends tell me about the severity of their mood swings while on their period, and I only ever experienced symptoms of anxiety. I would get palpitations that would last for long periods of time, but I felt completely at ease.

Nothing caused this symptom that felt like my heart was beating out of my chest. I learned to sit with the feeling and dismiss it as just another symptom. Yes, it was annoying, but I could deal with it.

This time around, I was acting like a crazy person. I practically jumped out of bed with joy in the morning mid-cycle and thoroughly enjoyed my drive to my per-diem Sunday job.

I was so excited, you would have thought I was going on a road trip. Later that day, I was ready to tackle all the chores, energized to get the most stuff done in the shortest period of time.

My anxiety was through the roof because I was running around the house like a crazy person for no particular reason. I was multi-tasking and doing chores that didn’t really need to be done at that moment. I just felt like I had to get everything done in like twenty minutes.

By the evening, I felt so disgusting and depressed. I just wanted to cry for no reason. I felt ugly, unwanted, undeserving. I felt like I was annoying the people around me and didn’t really want to do anything.

Later in the evening, I felt fine again. I had my dinner and watched some tv in my jammies, enjoying downtime. I felt like I didn’t need to do anything in that moment, and so my body was able to relax with ease. I had returned to equilibrium and was able to function like an average human once more.

The Insecurities

The worst part about mood swings is the feeling of insecurity that sort of just overcomes me like an ocean in a hurricane. The tingles of inadequacy take over my being and envelop me to the brink of suffocation.

When these moments appear out of nowhere, I’ll find myself doing a number of activities. I might just sit in silence and look around me wherever I am. In these moments, time stops, and I feel like I am wasting it.

Though, I feel stuck and useless. Often, I experience waves of depressive symptoms at these times. Tingles of unworthiness shiver through my spine and I kind of just sit with the sadness.

Other times I will become angry and short-tempered. I will blame my bratty attitude on the current state of the world, and complain about how much I hate people and all the evil things that the human race does from second to second all over the globe.

I will be filled with fireballs of hatred and resentment for all of the people who have caused so much harm to others, yet are still deserving of a place on this earth in their human form. I start becoming very vocal about things I cannot make a big impact on — social issues that have kept me awake at night and brought me to tears on numerous occasions.

In sporadic moments, I will become very needy and longing for others’ attention and physical touch. I want to be held and babied, spoken to, etc. I want to be the center of attention and coddled.

It’s pretty embarrassing to admit, but in an effort to be accurately relatable to others, I want to be honest. When I’m needy like this, I probably put out a vibe of desperation.

I’m sure this makes me even less attractive than I am currently feeling to others, and then I start getting in my own head about what people are thinking about me.

Moments later, I come out of the funk after receiving insightful reassurance from a stranger’s post I found through my downward spiral of emotional google questions.

Other Symptoms

There are other symptoms I have experienced ranging in severity. There have been headaches that transformed into migraines for no particular reason.

Headaches that woke me up in the middle of the night pounding my head into oblivion and sometimes triggering feelings of dizziness, which usually causes me to lose my balance and make the room spin. A throbbing head caused me to pop pain pills continuously to no avail.

There have been other small symptoms like terrible outbursts of IBS, irritability, fatigue, confusion, paranoia, enhanced or decreased libido, and a plethora of others.

Maybe you bleed through your clothes and sheets and worry about whether others can smell you on your period despite your best efforts. You probably try your best to choose feminine hygiene products that work best for you, but sometimes find yourself overwhelmed by all the options.

When choosing products that society tells us we “need” to smell and look completely different from what nature intended a vagina to be, we must keep in mind that a human smell is a normal smell.

As I reflect on the human experience of womanhood, I consider the best and worst parts of being a woman in the modern-day world. I hope this post will help people who get their period realize that they are never alone in their symptoms, thoughts, or feelings. We must remember that being a woman is such a beautiful thing in so many ways.

Tap into positivity at Live Life Now, my new blog✨

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