A Plea From Someone Still Recovering — Bad Luck Has Nothing to Do With Catching COVID-19 and Believing It Does Puts Everyone at Risk

Believing that luck significantly contributes to whether or not you catch the virus is a myth that endangers all of us

Perhaps I’m a bit more irritable in regards to statements people are making about COVID 19 since I actually have the virus, though thank God, other than one hospitalization primarily to get my oxygen levels back up, I’ve had mostly only moderate symptoms. I think if people knew how bad this thing really is, which I don’t think can be fully comprehended without experiencing it, they’d be less likely to make certain comments about how it’s spread and take it more seriously. I encourage you to read some of the first hand accounts of people who have contracted the illness to get a better feel for what happens if you come down with it.

People keep saying that most of those who contract the illness recover. But most is not all and this also doesn’t take into account the amount of suffering many people go through when they have it. If you’ve never laid in a hospital bed alone except for the medical staff, wondering if you will end up on a ventilator, then you are lucky. It’s not a fate I’d wish on anyone.

The statement I keep seeing in different articles and stories that is most concerning to me is that most of the tragedy that is currently playing out around the world with regard to the coronavirus is just due to bad luck. This may have seemed the case at the beginning before health experts were aware of how widespread and contagious the virus was or how it was passed from person to person. But not now.

While China could be faulted for the way they handled the outbreak in their own country at first, there’s no denying that they also managed to get it under control faster than any other country. This was accomplished in large part through a formal quarantine of the areas with the highest numbers of cases.

In this country there are still plenty of people who refuse to take precautions. I have heard from a number of friends and colleagues, many of whom have said that during the rare times they briefly leave their homes, they have seen many people without protective masks or gloves often in groups.

With the warmer weather, I have seen similar things from my window on the street below and beach at the end of the block. The parking lot by the beach is just as packed as any other year. I am praying for a rainy April just so people will stay put and not venture out.

I have read a number of stories in which people have said that they are doing what they can but they aren’t going to curtail their lives completely for this virus, especially when it’s more luck than anything that determines who gets it and who doesn’t. They believe that it’s a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

For example, you touched a cart at the supermarket and rubbed your face and that’s it. You can’t control everything that happens out there and trying to do so will only make you crazy or prevent you from living. Whether or not the cart you touch was touched by someone else with the illness and was then not wiped off because the employee responsible for this got called away before doing so is basically a gamble. It’s simply bad luck if place, time, and circumstances come together to expose you.

I know of several people who follow this line of reasoning, including one of my mother’s best friends who unfortunately lost her life to the virus a couple of weeks ago. They refuse to put their life on hold because of something that they believe they can’t control. This worries me to no end as the number of people who are infected continues to climb with no evidence of peaking anytime soon.

Then there are those who say that we need to stop checking the updates about how many people have the virus and how many deaths have been attributed to it. Instead, they think we should just focus on all of the people who have recovered from it.

The idea that who gets the virus and who doesn’t is mostly a matter of luck is a dangerous idea. When this mindset is combined with denial in terms of just how many have contracted or died from the virus and what the projections are for the future the danger increases. It makes it more likely that people will engage in high risk behaviors such as going out when it’s not necessary without taking protective measures.

The concept of luck involves something that we have no control over. Lack of control can lead to a sense of learned helplessness. This is when we believe there isn’t anything we can do that will have an effect over a situation.

When we’re convinced that there is no response that we can make that will change the outcome of a situation then we stop trying to respond at all or just do the basic minimum. In the case of COVID-19 the more people think that something external to them is the reason they will or won’t get the illness, the less likely they will be to take all the recommended precautions.

Please understand that contracting this virus at this point is not a matter of luck, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, uncontrollable circumstances coming together, the stars not being properly aligned or any other external determinants. Denying how contagious it is will also not protect you.

A lot of people contracted the virus before we knew it was in the general population and extremely contagious. It is understandable that they didn’t take precautions they had no idea they needed to take. But that is no longer the case.

Everywhere, health officials have come to the same conclusion. This is that the best way to avoid getting the illness is to do everything possible to prevent yourself from being exposed to it. This means staying home.

Grocery stores and pharmacies are delivering now and there are plenty of services available to help you get the things that you need. Volunteer organizations have been created to help those who are having trouble getting supplies.

Going out because you are bored staying home is not reason enough to expose yourself to the virus. Given that there are a lot of people who have mild enough symptoms that they don’t know they have the illness or haven’t developed symptoms yet who are contagious means you are at risk every time you leave home. If you contract it you may go on to infect who knows how many others before realizing you have it including your family.

As someone who is still recovering from this virus three weeks later, which included several days in the hospital I am begging you to not put yourself or others at risk just so you can get out. We’re all in the same boat and I know for those of us who live alone it is especially trying.

But the more people who decide that the call to shelter at home doesn’t apply to them, the longer this pandemic will play out. We all have the same responsibility to ourselves, to our families and to the community at large. Deciding that you can disregard the restrictions imposed is selfish and dangerous.

Sheltering in place and social distancing doesn’t mean you have to put your life on hold. It just means you have to be creative and find ways at home that you can remain plugged into your life and the world around you.

Put in the effort to find what works for you in helping you adjust to these new life circumstances. Figure out what provides you with the support you need, what kinds of stress and anxiety reduction coping strategies you can use and how you can continue to grow despite having to do it from the confines of your residence.

Determine how you can help others, as well. We all have needs during these difficult days and we all have something we can contribute to others well-being, even if it’s just a kind word, or message of encouragement. I had people who were complete strangers sending messages of support and some have continued to check in regularly. You have no idea how much this helped.*

Humans are nothing if not adaptable. If we focus on adapting instead of resisting and make the effort to help each other through however we can, we will help put an end to this devastating virus that has already sickened and killed so many.

* I’d like to thank Erika Burkhalter, in particular, for almost daily messages of comfort and optimism despite the fact that she and her husband were also still feeling some of the effects of the virus themselves. I hope I can follow her example in providing support and encouragement for others.

Natale C. Frank has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and enjoys writing articles on coping with difficult medical situations. She is an editor for The Partnered Pen & One Table, One World and is Editor in Chief for Promposity & Mental Gecko, both of which she created. She is also the Managing Editor for Novellas and Serials at LVP Publications. Her collection of poetry, Disguised I Breathe, In Love I Hold, can be found here on Amazon.

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