A Misunderstood Old Man Gives a Memorable Farewell to His Family

His grandchildren grew up living in fear of him

The elderly man walked into the front room, a closed-in porch with many windows, and immediately scanned the area in the direction of the five children who had been ordered to remain still and very quiet.

Gazing around the room with eyes that seemed to be darting in different directions due to a childhood condition, the children cowered closer to each other as his scary eyes searched for them while at the same time yelling in his loudest voice for them to be quiet.

After he left the room one of the boys asked bewildered, “Was he yelling at me?”

His sister said, “No, I think he was looking at Ralph.”

“No, no, he was yelling at Cecilia!” another piped up. They were never sure. Their best bet was to behave themselves and avoid incurring the wrath of their grandfather.

Rare eye condition

In his childhood, the man had been diagnosed with a less common form of Amblyopia, which affected both his eyes, leaving weak muscles and an inability to control eye movements, for which there was no known cure at the time.

The mere presence of this man, their grandfather, struck fear in their hearts, as they had only known him as a frightening figure who seemed to be always mad and confined them to specific spots in the house during their visits.

Other than yelling at them at almost every encounter, there was no further conversation between them and him.

The children knew little else about this man who wore sleeveless tee shirts and high-waisted brown pants held up by suspenders over his large stomach. They were aware their father was one of his sons and that, he too, was intimidated by this man.

Before each trip they were reminded to remain quiet while in their grandparents’ well-kept house, which always smelled like food and mothballs. They were told to refrain from touching anything, including the fish tank, and wait until their grandmother called them into the kitchen for lunch.

A sweet grandmother

Their grandmother was a kind woman who wore a flowered housecoat under a yellow cotton apron with a ruffled edge. She always had freshly-permed hair, a smile on her lips, spoke in broken English, and prayed the Rosary four times a day.

The children looked forward to eating her delicious soup and spending some time with her away from the porch and out of the gaze of their grandfather’s unusual eyes.

Upon his occasional visit to the kitchen while the children were eating, he would glance about, grumble, then walk out of the room leaving them feeling as if they were not welcome.

Their grandmother would give them a reassuring glance as if to protect them from the tyrant of the house. She always kept a handful of quarters in her apron pocket to give to them without his knowledge telling them in Italian to hide them before Grandpa saw.

This was their normal routine when they were children, visiting their grandparents once a month so their father could visit with the mother he cherished.

Limited visits as time passed

Over the next years, the visits dwindled due to other family commitments, kids’ activities, and their father’s declining eyesight, which led to his inability to drive legally.

Decades passed and so did their dearly beloved grandmother.

At her funeral, their grandfather cordially greeted the now-grown children as if it were a normal occurrence. He still had the same wild eyes, but now, being adults, they were no longer afraid of him and the power he had over them.

This once larger-than-life scary figure was just an old man who lost his wife of over 70 years and was quietly grieving.

After the funeral, their grandfather gave each of them an unexpected hug, and as they hugged him back, for the first time in their lives, kissed him on the cheek. This was the closest any of them had ever gotten to this now frail and vulnerable man.

To their amazement, he handed each one a small envelope with a crisp $100 bill inside. Surprised at his embrace and generosity they wondered why he had never shown this side of himself before.

The old man, forcing a smile, spoke more words to them than they ever heard him speak before.

“I knew the old woman was giving you quarters,” he said in his usual loud voice, “She enjoyed it, and I was not very good with kids.”

That was all he said.

The last memory

When they each left for their homes, the adult children felt their grandfather was not just a scary old man, but a misunderstood old man who loved his wife deeply and may have finally understood the importance of family and wished to make peace with them before his passing.

The old man, who never knew how to show love, died exactly one year after his wife’s death.

For his grandchildren, the years lost not knowing him were erased by that one brief, but long-awaited, pleasant encounter they were lucky enough to share with him — the once scary-eyed intimidating old man they called grandpa.

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