avatarStephenie Magister ✨

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Abstract

f a sudden I look at myself and a whole bunch of tiny steps have added up into a giant leap forward!!!</p><p id="4f03">One thing to remember is that your transition will never have an endpoint, so the biggest part of your transition is learning how to love who you already are. Because that’s who you’ll still be years and years from now, you know?</p><p id="ad30">There’s no moment where you suddenly finish your transition. Because your transition isn’t about becoming a woman, or a man, or a non-binary person, or anything on or off the gender spectrum.</p><p id="0030">It’s about cultivating the person you want to turn into going forward. That’s a decision everyone has to make regardless of whether they have transgender experiences. That’s true for me, for parents, for kids, and for everyone else.</p><h2 id="d2e4">Now that I’m this far into my transition</h2><p id="fca4">What I like to do is explore all sorts of stuff to figure out what really makes me feel like ME. They call that Gender Euphoria (instead of Gender Dysphoria). Sometimes I’m really surprised at what sort of stuff makes me feel 100% like I belong to my body and my gender.</p><p id="954b">Like I’d have thought dresses would be what proved to myself I was a girl, but now that I KNOW I’m a girl, I don’t mind wearing shorts and T-Shirts. I found out that a lot of what made me feel bad about myself wasn’t really because I felt like something was wrong with me. I just didn’t feel safe.</p><p id="dc63">You know what I mean???</p><p id="33b5">I just want you to know that I see you. I accept you. I support you.</p><p id="11f8">Well I have to go back to work, but I wanted to say HI! And to let you know you’re not alone. There are all sorts of queer people out here ready to see you and accept you and support you. I can’t wait to see how f

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ar you’ve gone in just the next couple of years!!!</p><p id="52ab">PS. Some fun reads just for folks with transgender experiences (like you)</p><ul><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/ten-new-trans-memes-to-brighten-your-day-641c338926d3?sk=f599c3ae9a4dbb0a16a8c6c0a1f23412">Ten New Trans Memes to Brighten Your Day</a> (for the LOLs)</li><li><a href="https://aninjusticemag.com/what-do-you-do-with-the-dysphoria-that-you-feel-b59714cc5865?sk=17993ea4ba415a09bbec8e25ae168aac">What Do You Do With The Dysphoria That You Feel?</a> (includes a Mister Rogers video that is so good!!!)</li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/gender-hacks-the-transition-toolkit-a40c4d1064f8?sk=bb9a65485fe8710eaaeab21e6179bbec">Gender Hacks: The Transition Toolkit</a> (includes a list of specific activities to provide relief from dysphoria)</li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/gender-hacks-the-cookbook-method-20cc205a8dd?sk=646b9d3d0bd7ee9cf1769c64198ea657">Gender Hacks: the Cookbook Method</a> (recipes not included)</li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/what-comedian-pete-holmes-taught-me-about-being-transgender-9fa25effbc8f?sk=0aef8ea62d2ada1dc34d66ad24399f8f">What Comedian Pete Holmes Taught Me About Being Transgender</a> (includes one classic joke)</li></ul><div id="a117" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/prismnpen"> <div> <div> <h2>Prism & Pen</h2> <div><h3>Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*uoYRRyqjSs17bagR1JCLgQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

A Message For Trans Youth: Gender Dysphoria, Coping Strategies …

… and whether it gets better

Graphic by author, elements from photos by Fidel Fernando and Pavel Anoshin on Unsplash and selfie altered by ToonMe

Hi!

My name is Stephenie. I’m a trans girl. I know lots of other trans people, and now I’m happy to know you.

Really I’m just happy to meet another person with transgender experiences. That’s how I think of myself. I’m not a trans woman. I’m a woman with trans experiences. But sometimes I say trans woman because it’s easier.

I knew I was a girl since before I knew what a girl was, but my family made me live as a boy. And then when I moved out, I felt like it was too late.

I lived as a boy for years and years and years. I was an adult before I was able to get help from a therapist and a doctor.

But I got help! Now I have a doctor and a good therapist. It took a while before I could get hormones too. I had to be patient. It was worth it. But it took a while.

It took even longer to get surgery. But that was worth it, too.

I found out there are about a million other things to work on with your transition while waiting for other stuff. Stuff no one can take away from you or stop you from exploring.

It’s strange how fast everything changes once you start your transition. It just FEELS slow because it all happens one tiny step at a time. And then all of a sudden I look at myself and a whole bunch of tiny steps have added up into a giant leap forward!!!

One thing to remember is that your transition will never have an endpoint, so the biggest part of your transition is learning how to love who you already are. Because that’s who you’ll still be years and years from now, you know?

There’s no moment where you suddenly finish your transition. Because your transition isn’t about becoming a woman, or a man, or a non-binary person, or anything on or off the gender spectrum.

It’s about cultivating the person you want to turn into going forward. That’s a decision everyone has to make regardless of whether they have transgender experiences. That’s true for me, for parents, for kids, and for everyone else.

Now that I’m this far into my transition

What I like to do is explore all sorts of stuff to figure out what really makes me feel like ME. They call that Gender Euphoria (instead of Gender Dysphoria). Sometimes I’m really surprised at what sort of stuff makes me feel 100% like I belong to my body and my gender.

Like I’d have thought dresses would be what proved to myself I was a girl, but now that I KNOW I’m a girl, I don’t mind wearing shorts and T-Shirts. I found out that a lot of what made me feel bad about myself wasn’t really because I felt like something was wrong with me. I just didn’t feel safe.

You know what I mean???

I just want you to know that I see you. I accept you. I support you.

Well I have to go back to work, but I wanted to say HI! And to let you know you’re not alone. There are all sorts of queer people out here ready to see you and accept you and support you. I can’t wait to see how far you’ve gone in just the next couple of years!!!

PS. Some fun reads just for folks with transgender experiences (like you)

Advice
Parenting
LGBTQ
Transgender
Kids
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