Inspiration | Life Lessons | Stoic Philosophy | Self-Improvement | Grief

A Matter of a Powerful, Effective Perspective

How to have an amazing and sensational life

Perspective is an intriguing concept.

If I’m not careful, I can “fall” into living each day unaware. Hypnotized by the things going on “out there” and not paying attention to what is happening “in here.”

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the outside world of the Covid19 drama, and the dire predictions that multi-millions will die from the virus. Then there’s the news media’s constant fear-mongering dampening our hopes that this craziness will be over soon — so that we can finally get back to living our normal lives.

I have to remember that I can’t do anything that will change the COVID19 obstacles. And what I can do is use the power of perspective to change how this obstacle appears to me. I can change how I start my days. I can create a daily mantra to remind myself that my life isn’t dependent upon what’s going on in the outside world. I need to concentrate on what will bring joy, happiness, fun, and more love into each moment I’m alive and well.

The NOW is where it’s at

I’m reminded, once again, that each new day I awake is a gift. A present. I love getting presents — especially unexpected ones. A gift of an extra-long kiss and hug from Jim. A thoughtful gesture like bringing me morning coffee in bed. Jim helping me make dinner. Or taking care of a household chore before I even ask him if he would.

There are other daily gifts. Enjoying breakfast on the deck while gazing out at the Rockies. Listening to the birds singing their different tunes. Watching the blue jays hassle invaders coming into their staked-out territory. Marveling at the gorgeous azure skies. Relishing the warm weather and gentle breeze.

Even though I “get” that the NOW is where it’s at, I’m still affected by residual grief gurgling within my body. I’m feeling it as I write this journal entry. It’s a heaviness sitting in the pit of my stomach — sending fingers of sadness up into my throat. A tear forms in the corner of my left eye. If I don’t push the sorrow back down, a flood of tears will stream down my face. Totally overtaken by grief once again.

What’s up with that?

Where did the joy go?

It was only a few months ago I was feeling so joyful. Thrilled and excited about each moment in the day. My dreams of having a fun and love-filled second half of my life were coming true. I couldn’t wait to see what would evolve during the day. What new, adorable aspect would I discover about Jim? A story? A skill? A humorous riff? What adventure would we have while running errands? Or just seeing Jim smile, with a sparkle in his blue eyes, would tickle me.

Somehow some of the joyfulness disappeared. Is it because world events have hampered us? Is it because I wish for things to happen faster and easier … feeling my time is slipping by. I’m six months closer to my next birthday. And I’m not anywhere near where I’d like to be or experience. Am I letting old fears stop me from living my dreams?

What’s bothering me?

Am I having a f’ing relapse?

How can I use a different perspective to get through, around, above, and under the despondency, I’m feeling?

Then, I saw this quote:

Your perspective becomes your prison or your passport. — Steven Furtick

Oh boy, that one got to me.

Am I making my own prison?

I quickly saw how my despondency was becoming a prison — a prison filled with doom and gloom. And the more I let those thoughts persist, the stronger and thicker the prison walls were becoming. I knew I had to snap out of this downer right NOW. And not wait for it to dissolve as I’ve done in the past.

Getting out of my way.

Then I asked myself how to get to a perspective that becomes my passport to the life I want to live?

The answer that popped into my mind was, “Take Action!” What baby step could I take that would get me one step closer to my dream life?

My step? Look at houses for sale in The Villages online. Jim and I are talking about buying a house and living in Florida for the winter. To make this a reality rather than a wish, I needed to clarify what kind of house I’d like to live in. We’d picked the area already. Next was to figure out what we would both like to have in our winter home. So, an online search was a good place to start. To see what kind of houses were available in our price range.

That did the trick.

I could feel bursts of excitement in my body.

Then appreciation and gratitude flooded in. I felt so blessed. I have Jim in my life. And I have the amazing and fortunate opportunity to do “crazy” things like buying a gorgeous winter home in Florida.

With a sly smile, I knew I defeated grief’s attack once again. I realized my job was to control my reactions to whatever obstacle comes my way. And to remember, the solution is always within the obstacle itself.

By changing my perspective, I re-found my passport to my dreams, and I’m back on track to living them.

I would t to thank Dr. Yildiz and the entire Illumination community for creating this platform to help each other have better lives filled with joy, love, and happiness. I also want to thank Tim Maudlin and Jeff Herring for their support and encouragement to publish what I’ve written.

Illumination is a great publication to find fabulous stories. Here are links to some of my writer friends -whose stories I think you would enjoy: Tim Maudlin JeffHerring.com Brenda Christopher MaryJo Wagner, PhD Dr Mehmet Yildiz Vickie Trancho Jesse-Melva Johnson Sunita Pandit Peg Duchesne Trapper Sherwood Kathleen N Hoagland Phil Brakefield Margaret Eves EricAsbeck.com Larry Nowicki William McPeck Steven Zabronsky Jane Gardner Eileen Roth Bill Todd Candy L Hill Marian Hays Helen Boss Chris Hallett Doug Golinski Brian Basilico Marjorie J McDonald Ntathu Allen

PS I’m a widow who refuses to live a life filled with grief but instead, I live a life filled with joy, happiness, and love.

I’ve written about my journey out of grief and into bodaciousness. If this story helped you to alleviate some sadness or grief, I invite you to read my other stories about life and the possibilities to experience joy once more.

This story is brought to you by Linda Kay Halladay. Find out more about my travels through grief in my introduction: