PANDEMIC LIFE
A Love Letter to My Pandemic Vices
Oh sweatpants…you just get me.
Dear friends,
I write to you today not with sarcasm or snark, not with feedback on how to improve, not with any kind of bad news. Today I am writing only out of love and gratitude.
You’ve always held a special place in my life, but during this past year, you’ve really risen to the occasion and gone above and beyond your normal duties. I truly can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me. But I can try.
Sweatpants
My beauties. We’ve been good friends for a long time. You saw me through a lot of late nights in university, and then even later nights as a new parent. But never before have you been asked to work day in and day out for a year at a time.
Your elastics were strong and incredibly forgiving of my repeated trips to the fridge. You kept me warm on my 37,691 walks around the neighborhood this winter, and you were incredibly supportive whenever a new pair was added to your team.
You didn't even flinch when you were asked to leave the house far more than ever before, going to such places as the grocery store, or even to a friend’s house. You’re so used to hanging out on the couch, but when asked to do more, you were ready, willing, and able.
You all worked so well together, and there was never any jealousy over the heavily favored pairs. You give everything you have when you are selected for wear. You all have such a special place in my heart. Thanks for being so cozy.
Leggings
How can I mention my sweats without acknowledging their cuter, spunkier, little sisters? These kids were so excited to get called into action with such regularity this year! You guys were total champs!!
I know you felt the pressure of being the fancy pants for a whole year, knowing the jeans and slacks were on paid leave, but you held strong and were so so soft!
You’ve done an amazing job so far and I know that you’ll be ready for whatever comes our way as we continue in lockdown for god knows how long.
Amazon
I can’t believe we only became friends this past year! It feels like we’ve known each other forever and I simply can't imagine my life without you.
You helped out with finishing the basement after the renovations, were exceptional in handling the busy holiday season, and brought me so many of the leggings I have already mentioned. I’m so proud of your hard work!
There was a period of time in there when our relationship was looking a little intense, perhaps too much for both of us. Nearly every day, your clicky-presents adorned my porch, in beautiful boxes, with smiles bigger than mine.
But we never even once considered how our actions were affecting the bank account, and that was our mistake. We took a little break, which helped us really appreciate the other, and now I feel like we are going to be friends for life. Some things are just meant to be.
Top Knots
I’m not quite sure you even understand how valuable you are. You likely think of yourself as an afterthought of the ensemble, but I need to let you know, you guys are the ones that hold it all together!
As you very well know, my hair grows at a furious rate, and with all of the salons closed for the better part of a year, you’ve been called into work pretty much every day.
After the mildly stressful home haircut in March, we both agreed it would be better to ride out the storm and let the pros handle it from here. So, we were at the mercy of the hair, which now reaches my ass when I pull the curls straight.
But, you knew just what to do and when to do it. You kept the mop off my neck for hours at a time, with nothing more than a tiny little ring of elastic. You make it look so easy, but I know it’s not. Thank you for your tireless efforts.
Writing
Do you even know how much you have changed my life in such a short time? We were the best of friends as kids, almost never apart. But life got busy and you were asked to be purely academic for quite a long time. I know it’s not your favorite style, but you trudged on through and scored me some pretty good grades.
But when school ended, nearly two decades ago, I was a bad friend. I left you, alone and probably wondering what you had done wrong. The answer is nothing, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I just allowed everything else to consume me for so long.
But you waited for me, and when I was ready to come back to you, we picked up again like only seconds had passed, not years. Our love affair was once again kindled, and I feel as though it is steamier than ever.
I have no intention of ever leaving you again. There will be days when I can give you all the attention you crave, and others when you may feel slighted. But I promise I will always come back to you, and we will always pick up as though I’d never left.
I hope I didn't embarrass you guys. You are deserving of everything I’ve said and more. It's been a tough year for all of us, but you never let that get the better of you, I can't say the same for myself.
I’m not sure how I would have fared this year without your abject devotion to sustaining my sanity, I’m glad I didn’t have to find out. So thank you, from the bottom of my overworn sweatpants!!
All my love,
Deb
© Deborah Weir 2021
