A Lion Ate Their Son & The Parents Called The Zoo Manager: … He Said:
“How much can we pay you?” … What did the parents do? … :
Any parent, visiting a zoo with their son, would be nervous enough if they saw their son doing this … feeding some deer through the cage’s barrier.
But what if the animal was a lion? And what if the little boy was intent on poking the lion’s ear with a stick? What would the parents do then?
And what if the parents were unaware … didn’t even notice that the boy had gotten close to the cage front?
What if the boy actually did it … poked the lion … and then somehow, the lion reacted by dragging him into the cage … and eating him? … all before the parents very eyes !
What if all they saw after the event was a cap? … their little boy’s blue cap:
But is this a seriously-real scenario? (I hear you ask):
Well no, of course it’s not … but it did grab your attention and it does sound sort-of feasible doesn’t it? … But it’s not click-bait to get you reading.
Truth is, it’s such a tantalizing thought, that maybe someone might take the idea, and make it into a story that could be told at a dinner party so as to capture the attention of those sitting around the table and keep them on tenterhooks as the story unfolded ... a sort of ‘what happened next?’ tale.
Well, someone has done it already! … a long time ago:
Way back in the 1930s a man by the name of Marriott Edgar (1880–1951), a writer of monologues (humorous poem-stories told on stage to an audience), wrote a monologue titled: ‘The Lion and Albert’ … about a boy named Albert who was eaten by a lion at Blackpool Zoo (an English Sea-side resort town).
Extra Lion Info: In the poem, the lion was named “Wallace” … the name given to the first African lion to be bred in Britain. It lived there from 1812 until 1838.
The monologue poem … “The Lion and Albert”:
There are 18 verses in the poem … You can click here to read all the verses as they appear in the actual monologue (courtesy allpoetry.com). However, if you’d prefer an easy-read (a non-poem summary) of the story, here it is:
V1: Mr & Mrs Ramsbottom took their son Albert to Blackpool, a seaside town in Lancashire (England).
V2: Albert (dressed in best clothes) carried a stick with a horse-head handle
V3: They didn’t think much of the sea; no real fun … and nobody drowned !
V4: So they decided to go to the Blackpool Zoo (animals; food … and beer!).
V5: At the zoo they came across a cage containing a lion called ‘Wallace’.
V6: Albert had heard that lions were fierce, but Wallace looked peaceful.
V7: So Albert decided that he would poke the lion in the ear with his stick.
V8: The lion didn’t like it. He pulled Albert into the cage, & swallowed him!
V9: Albert’s dad saw it all, and said to his wife: “That lion just ate Albert” !
Vs10,11,12 & 13: The parents then called the zookeeper, who said: “Are you sure?”, to which dad said: “Look … there’s his cap! … that’s all that left” … The manager was sent for. Albert’s mother said: “It’s a real shame what’s happened … AND we paid to come in!”. The manager then said: “How much to settle?”, to which Albert’s dad responded: “How much do you normally pay?” !!!
Vs14,15,16,17: Mum was having none of this, and the Ramsbottoms took the matter to court, where the magistrate decided that: “No-one was to blame … and he also added: “The Ramsbottoms could have more children” !!!
V18: Mrs Ramsbottom had the final word in court when she said: “What, waste all our lives raising children to feed ruddy Lions? Not me!”
A celebrity performed the monologue on stage:
In the early part of the 20th century, Stanley Holloway was one of the most well-known celebrities in Britain (including Music Hall performances). This was well-before the TV era … and on the theater stage he would read out monologue stories to his audience. He was very famous at that time.
Marriott Edgar teamed up with Stanley Holloway and asked him if he had heard his story about a couple who had taken their son to the zoo, only to see the lad eaten by a lion.
Holloway said that he had heard the story, and afterwards Edgar supplied him with a script for The Lion and Albert. It became one of Holloway’s most popular pieces, one of many he recorded beginning in the 1930s.
His monologues were recorded on vinyl discs (records), and I remember listening to them many times in my parents home when I was a boy myself, in the 1940’s … ‘The Lion & Albert’ was one of my very favorites.
A modern update just for you:
Today, we have the wonder of video and YouTube … and thanks to such technical wizardry, here (first) is the the man himself, Stanley Holloway, reciting the words of ‘The Lion & Albert’, then (secondly), another version by Adam Scott against a modern cartoon-background:
Note: Holloway’s words-only version is spoken in a Lancashire dialect, whilst Scott’s cartoon version is delivered in a Geordy (Northumberland/Tyneside) accent.
The Lion & Albert (Stanley Holloway)
The Lion & Albert (Adam Scott)
Enjoy!
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‘A Lion Ate Their Son & The Parents Called The Zoo Manager. **** by Fred: writer on Medium **** ******** © Fred Ogden 2024 ******** Email: [email protected]
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